Scandalised Salmond Forms Groper Party

In today's 'Let's Kick Some Establishment Ass' nasty news roundup we bring our readers the latest and greatest hot gossip topic: 'Porky Pict Launches Own Groper Political Party' – another scandalous exposé special edition from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – publishing, as always, 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand-forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire; to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice, anarchist revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% predatory paedo' elitist Masonic-Satanist oligarchy – aka the Deep State Sabbatean death cult Corporatocracy - cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement and greed – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.

The gospel according to the North of the Border rabid rumour grapevine, disgraced former SNP (Scottish Nonce Protectors) political party leader, Alex 'Cellulite' Salmond, is ready n set to launch his very own pro-independence political machine – the Alba Party – with sponsors, donors and member-candidates alike purportedly defecting from Sturgeon's mismanaged SNP - with the first Judas apostates to jump ship being that notorious self-promoting moron and ex-Levy-McRae tea lad - Kenny 'Turncoat' McAskill and his anti-Semitic slurs crony, Neale 'Jew Basher' Hanvey.

Oh yes, yet another pro-independence party – doubtless chomping at the bit to break away from the Disunited Kingdom – just like the SNP's Wee Nippy Sturgeon slag has her knickers in a perennial Gordian knot over.

Independence from Mother England's Worstminster House of Conmans rule – and a Scotland free from foreign domination – then immediately petition Brussels to rejoin the EUSSR – (if Europe wants any fucking thing to do with this paedo-infested failed state that no longer has the Westmonster crutch to lean on) – and start taking orders from a bunch of unelected Brussels-based kleptocrats - as opposed to the Downing Street dipshits.

There again, reflecting on the fact that the only person in Salmond's life is – er – Alex Salmond – then this pantomime act of public (perhaps more at 'pubic') service altruism for Scotland's sovereignty bears the stench of conspiratorial vengeance – to challenge his former protégé - the SNP's ginger mingin Jimmy Krankie look-alike and oust her from office – black cat, broomstick n all - just to get even with the back-stabbing kunt for causing him an ongoing shitload of socio-political grief viz the Holyrood-promoted and publicised 'sex pest' groper scandal.

Speaking with one gutter press hack from the Haggis Bonkers Gazette, Salmond confided that his ultimate aim was to build a supermajority coalition for independence at Holyrood following the May 2021 election.

Conversely, the SNP has opined that issues of both credibility and moral fibre are stumbling blocks to the Porky Pict's suitability to return to any format of public office - with the leaders and spokespersons for other political parties describing Salmond in derogatory fashion – from the mildly rebuking statement of his being 'discredited' - and reflecting on past conduct towards females of the species, an utter embarrassment'.

Scotland's Tory Nasty Party leader Douglas Tosser opined to media hacks that: "Salmond is a discredited figure who admitted appalling behaviour towards women during his time as the SNP's Worst Minister and no fucker or their dog will want anything to do with him or this new Alba Party."

Scottish Labour leader Anus McScrote said the people of Scotland deserved more than a display of political 'score settling' and this coming election must be about national recovery and the people of Scotland's priorities, not some vanity-driven clash of personalities who believe their personal interest takes precedence over the national interest."

The Scottish Librarian-Dummercrats 'Losers Party' chair Angus Grousebonker was more concise with his condemnation of Alex 'who ate all the pies' Salmond, and branded the fat fuckpig as 'a dipshit' and 'a dog wanker'.

But WTF can be expected from anyone associated with the elitist Tartan Tadger Onanist Society 'Violate Club' and the sodomite / pederast dominated Magic Circle?

This is a man (sic) who - in his exalted role of Worst Minister - couldn't be arsed to investigate the despicable Hollie Greig sexual abuse of disabled minors scandal – (centred on an Aberdeen-based 'untouchable' elitist Masonic / Satanist scumster cabal who even a sitting Lord Advocate in the Crown Office chose to ignore the heinous paedo abuse crimes of) - nor cast his eye on the damning evidence report handed to him (I'll read this later) by the now-departed (and sadly lamented) tenacious anti-sexual abuse campaigner, Robert Green.

To all intents and purposes, the Porky Pict comes across as yet another untouchable holier-than-thou class act scumbag, and if there is a God in Heaven, then the Alba Party's fortunes shall fall on stony ground – and Salmond go the way of the Dodo.

A festering conundrum perhaps, to accurately sum up the scurrilous character of this low life ex-Worst Minister – albeit if we quote from the works of the Stratford Baird, then such an assessment might draw close: "So lacking in majesty and stature, that dogs would bark as he walked in the street."

To sum up and conclude: Alec Salmond's novel Gimcrackery Party – a political joke staffed by a membership of losers and dog wankers (McAskill n ) – yet posturing themselves as a moral cut above the ginger mingin Sturgeon's SNP (Scottish Nonce Protectors) – for this is what the corpulent groper would have a gullible voting public believe.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-56539696

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – (aka 'the Truth').

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.

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(Unless one has the audacity to subscribe to Assange's WickedLeaks – or support the pro-Palestinian BDS campaign and criticise Zionist Israel's human rights abuses and war crimes – or dare mention the dirty dealings of the Met's PPU (Paedophile Protection Unit ) or expose, name and shame the membership ranks of the horrid Hampstead – or  Nottingham's - Nasty Paedo Clubs - or Scotland's Masonic Speculative Society 'Nonce Ponce' Magic Circle arse bandit / Violate BD/SM Club VIP (Very Important Pederast) kiddie fiddling Edinburgh / Balmoral / Glencoe / Cringemonogate / Aberdeen-based cabal – along with their Westminster and Holyrood Parliament / Crown Office / Secret Squirrel Security Services / Plod Squad sodomite - paedo-enablers / cover-up protectors – then Sections 5 and 19 of the Public Order Act (1986) are enacted – and fair play Judicial Process, along with Common Fucking Sense, go the way of the Dodo).