SNPs Blackford Exposed as Trough Dweller

In today's 'Let's Kick Some Establishment Ass' nasty news roundup we bring our readers the latest and greatest 'hot gossip' in this scandal-mongering edition - exposing the Scottish Nonce Party's hypocrisy-ridden hierarchy for permitting their MPs to engage in second – and third – (and maybe endless) – remunerative non-job directorships, besides their primary elected Parliamentary positions.

But this is what we at Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill are dedicated to – bringing our followers 'ring of the anvil' dispatches - hand forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke scandalous satire - to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% elitist Satanic 'paedo death cult'  oligarchy – cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.

Scandalous exposure for the Scottish Nonce Party's Worstminster leader - (the Sturgeon's Tory ass-biting pit bull) - Mr McMoneybags – aka Ian 'Three Jobs' Blackford – or should the perennially-whingeing gobshite be re-branded 'Slackford' when it comes to actually applying time and effort to the job he was elected to do – the 'full time' and hands-on representation of his hapless Ross, Skye and Lochaber constituents.

But like the rest of his Tartan Tadger Club Masonic cronies – and the venal ranks of our once-sceptred isle's political set - old Three Jobs has fallen prey to the lowlife 'Fill Yer Pockets' culture of pigfest greed and trough-snouting gluttony.

Back in December 2019, Slackford's Librarian-Dummercrap Party election rival, Craig Harrow, demanded the porcine, waistcoat-bursting grunter quit these 'other jobs' to focus on his constituents priority needs.

In a letter to the SNP's 'Wee Nippy' leaderess, Nicola Sturgeon, Harrow stated: “As leader of the SNP, I am writing to request you to confirm that SNP candidates in this general election will keep to Peter Wishart's 2015 vow that for MPs ‘there should be no second jobs."

“I noted that recently, the former SNP Westminster leader Angus Robertson stated that MSPs should ‘give a full-time commitment and not claim they can be in two places, serving two masters, at the same time’.

“Will all SNP candidates, including the SNP’s incumbent Westminster leader, Ian Blackford, therefore pledge a ‘full time commitment to constituents and constituency’ ahead of the election on December 12?”

Alas, the septic Sturgeon declined to reply to Craig Harrow's missive.

Sporting his trademark button-bursting waistcoat around the bars and bistros of Worstminster, Blackford likes to play up his Celtic credentials – yet his boast of being a 'simple crofter' – owning no more than ten acres of the horrid and nonce-ridden Highlands - is proving absurdly difficult to sustain.

The rapacious MP for Ross, Skye and Lochaber was revealed last week to have the second largest haul of Parliamentary expenses — at £242,000 — which covers staff, travel and accommodation – and Gawd known whatever else.

So, how much is 'Three Jobs' Blackford worth?

Slackford’s squirreled-away kitty may not be known, though, conversely, his salary as a part-time House of Conmans MP is on public record.

The SNP Worstminster leader earned £74,962 quid from his 2019 Parliamentary salary – plus the generous taxpayer-funded expenses listed above - but that’s just what the HMRC knows about – plus the gobshite Caledonian politico is estimated to have also raked in another £50,000 nicker from two additional jobs – along with undisclosed earnings from his personal Highland croft landowning ventures.

Slackford works as chairman of a funeral plans fund – the Golden Charter Trust, which sells and administers funeral plans, and according to the MPs' Register of Interests, pays him £3,247 a month. His daily rate for any additional work is rumoured to pay him a further £1,500 quid.

Hmmm, funeral plans – doubtless undertakers are perhaps one of the few sectors guaranteed to do a veritable booming business during this Covid-19 plandemic. 

Further to the above, old Slackie held a position as the non-executive chairman of telecom firm Commsworld. In the register of MPs' interests, Blackford discloses only that his stake in Commsworld is worth more than £70,000.

Conversely, in the New Year, the internet provider was taken over – with his 4% shareholding netting a bonus sum estimated £1.8 million.

He recently stated that he works eight hours per quarter for the company, and receives £1000-a-month for his role there.

A former money-grubbing investment bankster, Blackford is also a director and part-owner of the First Seer financial consultancy.

All in all, with his MP's salary of £74,962 - plus expenses - he's doing very nicely for a humble crofter.

Sad, we know, but alas we live in a sick world, run by a cabal of very greedy people.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – aka the Truth.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.

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