NHS Pay £27 per Hour: to Watch Netflix

In today's 'Let's Kick Some Establishment Ass' nasty news release we bring our readers the latest and greatest 'hot gossip' in this scandal-mongering counter-culture Enhanced Bullshit’ exposé edition from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged, crafted and tempered into razor-edged bespoke satire; to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant DNA bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% elitist, neurotic oligarchy – cursed by their exaggerated sense of entitlement – who, imprudently, have deluded themselves into believing they rule this world, and all upon its once-pristine mantle.

A contact tracer recruited for the fatally-flawed NHS Test and Trace corona-virus Covid-10 psyop scamdemic revealed she has not been assigned to 'contact' or 'trace' anyone since taking up her new post.

Former Luton clap clinic nurse Becky McSkanger told the BBC's Victoria Slagg programme she was employed on a 38 hour working week basis but had never made a single phone call, and spent most of her on-shift time watching Netflix or browsing conspiracy websites.

"It's frustrating to know that I'm sat on my arse in front on the laptop computer the NHS supplied and getting paid £27 nicker an hour when there's people who need to be contacted and informed they've tested positive for the Covid-19 'Dreaded Lurgy' virus and attempt to trace who the fuck they caught it off - and if they've passed it on to some other hapless twat."

Responding to opposition party criticism of the 'not fit for purpose' Test & Trace scheme in the House of Conmans, the Tory Nasty Party's inept Health Minister, Matt Wancock, claimed that while Nurse Becky might be spending her shift times on social media, or watching Netflix, this negative factor did not reflect the amount of positive contact tracing work that was underway.

In defence of the 'fubar' scheme, Wancock further elucidated that "We're trying to build a very large system to keep people in England safe from Covid-19 and prevent a second wave 'panic-driven over-reaction' spike as occurred with 'Wave One' – and as this is a very complex deception there are going to be master class chess type challenges to keep the brain-dead common herd in the dark - a problem which will hopefully be overcome via our ever-compliant mass media's continued avalance of misinformation, distraction and scaremongering."

"Not having the system up and running to 100% efficiency is obviously frustrating but it's all about saving people's lives - and what's left of the Government's credibility in the wake of our inappropriate 'Guesstimated' lockdown over-reaction to Wave One."

"Anyone in England can book a test and we have over 25,000 contact tracers in place to undertake this vital work – not all of which are sat watching Netflix all day like this whistle-blowing Becky rat."

"All our staff have been trained and are fully supported in their work following procedures designed by WHO public health experts - such as Professor Neil Ferguson of London's prestigious Imperial College."

Conversely, the Daily Shitraker gutter press tabloid published leaked data showing 4,456 confirmed Covid-19 plandemic cases were reported to the Test and Trace scheme between 28 May, when it launched, and 31 May – and that those confirmed cases passed on to a staggering 4,634 contacts - yet a mere 1,749 of that number had been contacted by the grossly-overpaid Netflix-occupied tracers due management level incompetence.

Damning information fed to the tabloid press hacks revealed the Test and Trace system was unlikely to be picking up more than 30% of corona-virus cases and missing at least two-thirds of contacts.

Daily Shitraker editor Ron Scrote commented ""That's why yer Nurse Becky – an' a host of her fellow tracers – ain't had any calls – cos the system's not fit fer purpose. An' even more worryin' still is the effin' fact that can it ever be fit fer purpose?"

"This NHS Test and Trace scheme is intended ter map a person's social an' work place networks - an' close contacts - once they've received a positive corona-virus diagnosis – all ter achieve an end product of relaxin' this barmy Lockstep policy ter one of the new 'Abnormal' social distance 'cuddles'."

"So yer got ter ask yerself, why the fuck woz it ever set up like this when common sense an' logic argue that the scheme should revolve around local GPs an' their established an' in-place patient contact systems – but now it's morphed inter just another Tory quango snafu."

"An' guess who the fuck's bin contracted ter run the Test an' Trace disaster? None other than the notorious private outsourcing company Serco - aka Fuck-Ups R Us – wiv the entire fubar under the questionable aegis of the chair of NHS Improvement an' former Talk-Squawk CEO, Baroness Dildo Hardon – who obviously picked up the required skill sets fer this appointment while workin' fer Thomas Cook an' Tesco an' Sainsbury."

"I've got a copy on me desk of the NHS job advert fer clinical contact tracers wot sez the role pays £27.15 quid an hour – an' states that preferred applicants would be, among others, nurses, dentists, vets an' pet shop workers – an' any other fucker an' their dog wot can operate a mobile phone an' a laptop pc."

In response to negative comments from former health secretary Jeremy Kunt, who claimed the quick turnaround of test results was crucial for the Test and Trace scheme to be effective - speaking at Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday, Bonkers Boris Nonsense pledged a new 24-hour target for test results, excepting tests delivered by second class snail mail.

Nurse Becky, who naively spoke to the BBC on condition of anonymity (some chance) stated for the record she watched the entire Games of Thrones series on Netflix despite being available to help trace, contact and isolate Covid-19 positive persons.

"I'm yet to make a single phone call or be assigned a case. I've had zero contact from supervisors or anyone in charge of the system – so perhaps everyone is flat out busy watching Netflix."

"I'm literally logged on to the Test and Trace system all day, refreshing the browser and occasionally having to log back in because it's timed out - and sod all ever happens. I've yet to receive a call or text or e-message from anybody regarding contact tracing - zilch – and that is very frustrating. And talk about jobs to die for, while I'm getting paid £27:15 an hour for doing nothing I really do think it's appalling – and considering that is coming out of the tax-payer's purse, then it's dishonest to boot."

"So there's me, sat back in an armchair in front of the laptop and watching the full Game of Thrones series, then got bored with the box set crap - and dragons barbequing any fucker the Targaryen blonde bitch got a snot on with - and started to take  a peek at some of the conspiracy websites which, with evidence a'plenty, reckon the entire Covid-19 virus is a 'plandemic' driven by its own skewed WOKE fringe ideology agenda - and just an excuse for global governments to go all Nazi on us, crash the global economy and monetary systems - then impose martial law and enforce this new social distancing 'Abnormal' culture."

"I eventually got into researching all manner of weird conspiracy and mind control cult stuff regarding this coronavirus being a total and 'in yer face' 'scamdemic' - a psyop to radically modify the collective psyche and social behaviour of the global populations."

"Just take a look at what's going down in Trumpton right now – the good old US of A – this festering crucible of 'virtue-signalling' socio-political hypocrisy - and how they're all being taken for a ride with the mesmeric black lives matter scam – the false flag psycho-op' where some delinquent, sadist cop kills a darkie called Floyd by standing on his neck – and the Georgie Soros-funded Antifa cult's 'untouchable' agents provocateur kick starting nation-wide riot-calibre protests across America - and now Europe – with social distancing going to the dogs."

"It's not rocket science to see where that is heading – Antifa thugsters getting bailed out of Plod Squad custody by Hollywood's celebrity class - yet another wholly-confused elitist breed of self-promoting urbanite progressives - the next thing will be the stay home lockstep enforced again – martial law style and with a vengeance – then the gullible Yanks are going to finally find out what FEMA actually stands for – not Federal Emergency Management Agency but 'Federal Emergency Military Authority' – and these are the bastards who will be shipping dissident types off to the internment camps. Blue Zone for re-education – Red Zone for termination."

Have you been recruited as a contact tracer for the Test and Trace corona-virus 'scamdemic' scheme?How many boredom-inspired Netflix series did you watch in your first week? Or was it spent logging on to social networking website chit-chat boxes - or perusing hard porn onanist video clips on Pirate Bay – or foolishly grooming paedo-hunter vigilantes manning the pederast entrapment sites and impersonating underage tottie - or simply blowing your £27 quid per hour pay with some online gambling site?

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Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect' – (aka 'the Truth') - and exposing the fact this entire fake Wuhan 400 virus epidemic is a sinister distraction scam to be blamed for the imminent crashing of the world's financial markets and the complete Crapitalist debt-based monetary structure - (a defective n broken system that's been on life support for years) – resulting in a radical restructuring of the entire global economy with CBDCs - a la the 2008 scenario on steroids - wherein the 99.9% disenfranchised poor get even poorer and the 0.01% elitist shitbags elevated to a greater category level of 'stinking rich' when picking up the post-apocalypse crashed commercial market commodities at cents on the dollar.

This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane unorthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references, 5G electrosmog radiation, and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified nano-particle bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.

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