Okay, dog owners take their pooch out
for a walk so Fido can sniff lamp posts n trees – n other dog's asses – and
cock a leg – but mainly take a crap outdoors and not on the kitchen floor.
No problems so far.
Along with the evolution of public
health policy - and common herd outrage viz treading in the ubiquitous piles of
dog shit that used to pollute our pavements and parklands - a trend of 'scoop
the poop' was initiated, with speciality canine crap bags on sale and carried by conscientious dog walkers to
bag and dispose of - in the correct parkland allocated 'dog shit bin' - Fido's
daily digestive download.
So far, so good.
Out jogging each morning through rural
woods and across grassed parklands it is quite rare that I inadvertently step
in dogshite – perhaps a load of excrement discharged by some hound on the loose
and unseen by the owner. As the t-shirt say – shit happens.
To wit – reflecting on the last
statement it appears, to all intents and purposes, that the 'scoop the poop' regime is working – and maybe working too well.
Now while I rarely tread in – or see –
raw dogshite on my runs, what does offend mine eyes is a plethora of weighty tie-handle poo
bags simply discarded – and slung with delinquent aforethought - into the pathway bushes – and worse still –
hung on fences or tree branches.
For fuck's sake, what is in the minds
of these morons? If you own a dog you take responsibility for its wellbeing –
feeding, exercise and health – and correctly disposing of its bagged shite. If
you are too lazy or simply can't be arsed with observing common sense sanitation and community-responsibility, then buy a fucking budgie.
No shit – and zero pun intended – if
dog crap is left on the ground then insects and bacteria will make short work of
it in a rural setting.
Left inside a purposely discarded
plastic bag the crap will never decompose – perhaps eventually dehydrate
and become another dumped addition to the 'couldn't care less' felonious
attitude litter that despoils our countryside – and the entire planet.
Not that I am condoning, but can
understand the mindset of the semi-responsible – they see Fido take a dump,
then religiously scoop the poop – and then the slack-arsed side of their nature takes over – a quick look
around – no fucker watching – and toss the bag into the bushes.
That is just bone idleness on their
part. These are the types of people who are responsible for hit n run vehicle
accidents – and cause civil strife.
Now, to the nitty-gritty – the fence
and tree poop bag hangers. This shower are in critical need of mental health
treatment – and a slap round the fucking head.
WTF is going through their minds – hang
a bag of dog shit on a fence or the branch of a tree?
For fuck's sake, do they believe the
local borough council have some dedicated poop bag retrieval squad operating
around the rural byways and woods of our once-sceptred isle?
Or are they that stupid and totally
deluded into thinking some enthusiastic 'Scat Detail' branch of the Tooth Fairy Brigade – instead of doing the rounds and collecting extracted ivory from under
a kid's pillow and leaving a silver sixpence in its place – they actually
patrol the woods and gather up irresponsibly discarded bags of festering dog
shit hanging from trees?
As I stated in a recent blog
post, I believe it was Orde Wingate's elder brother, who, after a lifetime of
overseas Christian missionary work - attempting to turn bipeds into men -
stated on his death bed the superbly-qualified personal opinion that 90%
of humanity wasn't worth saving.
Now that acute observation
specifically applies to the poop bag tree hangers.
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