Wednesday, 24 July 2019

Bonkers Boris Crowned King

Once again, the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering counter-culture hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged, tempered and crafted into razor-edged bespoke satire, to sate the palates of all budding anti-authoritarian non-conformists, proto-nihilists and those eclectic career radical, pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal genetic Rh-Neg recusant bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial - and harbour zero respect or empathy for the privilege-abusing arrogant authoritarian 0:01% oligarchy who imprudently believe they rule this world and all upon its mantle.

In a summertime July week where the good ole US of A celebrates the 50th anniversary of Stan the Man Kubrick faking the 1969 Moon landing – (one conspiratorial, expensive step for NASA and their CIA paymasters, but a mega special effects tech step for Hollywood's make-believe artists) - we finally have the Nasty Party Slime Minister, Treason May, evicted from No 10 Downing St - and an all-new thatch-haired tenant taking up residence.

While that smarmy Remainiac dog wanker Jeremy Kunt is 'not' Broken Britain's next Crime Minister, our sacred isle of Albion's Brexiteer patriots (17:4 million-plus) applaud the fact that career buffoon, the bumbling Boris 'Zipline' Nonsense, at least has the keys to No 10 Downing St and a bed to sleep in - after being unceremoniously evicted from his (ex) 'bit of tottie on the side' / girl friend Mad Carrie McSkanger's flat recently - in the wake (sic) of a late night crockery-chucking and profanity-laden name-cussing altercation that disturbed neighbours' peace and saw the Plod Squad summoned.

So that's it, and the EUSSR Commission's Dark Side Sith kleptocrats beware – for Boris is shit-canning Treason May's treacherous sell-out withdrawal document – and 'backstops' be buggered - and he's a'coming to re-negotiate a fresh Brexit agreement – along with a few of his old Bullingdon Vandals Club buddies.
To wit, come Hell or high water, he intends to take no prisoners, smite those foolhardy or imprudent enough to oppose his iron will,  and be done with Brussels tyranny by October 31st – deal or no deal.

Yes, for better or worse – like it or not - Bonkers Boris de Piffle Attaturk Nonsense, Tory MP for Poxbridge & South Cowslip – (eldest son of I'm a Celebrity loser Stuttering Stan Kemal Nonsense, brother of gutter press hackette, Rabid Rachel Nonsense - and non-entity sibling, Jolly Jo Nonsense, Tory MP for Gorpington – and a couple of other nondescript sprogs) - is now the leader of the Nasty Party 'and' Broken Britain's new Crime Minister.

Classic Bonkers Boris quote: 'My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters'

Yet the Tory / Bliarite Labour / Lib-Dum Dark Side scumsters are determined Boris ain't gonna get an open arms easy ride – a factor broadcast with malignant intent by that notorious Parliamentary expenses fiddler and all-round prize dipshit, Alan 'call me Sir' Duncan - a long-time foe of Boris Nonsense (who was once his deputy at the Foreign Office) - announced his resignation on the eve of the new Tory Nasty Party leader being installed.- and immediately tabled an emergency motion to force a House of Conmans vote on whether Nonsense had the right to form a government – a pathetic move rightly shit-canned at its genesis by Speaker John 'Shortarse' Bercow.

Duncan's back-stabbing underlines the mammoth task facing any new premier to hold the fragmented Austerity Party together amid furious infighting over Brexit – with one Tory MP commenting to the Daily Shitraker Online the idea pushed by  Dirty Duncan was 'batshit bonkers' and showed he was 'dripping in unqualified arrogance' – as was that egocentric twat Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond, threatening to take Boris and his government down if he dares expedite the 2016 referendum majority Leave result and gives a contrary Brussels the bird on October 31st to opt for a No Deal bye-bye.
So much for the good of the nation when the cult of the personality rules against democracy.

Deal or No Deal Brexit – whoever the fuck became party leader, and by default, the Crime Minister – Jeremy Kunt or Bonkers Boris – it's never been about leadershits but – as the scaremonger propagandist Remainiacs would deny – (those dirty and disgusting, corrupt  political machinators infesting the lower House of Conmans benches - and the unelected Vermin in Ermine squatting in the Upper House of Frauds dosspit – along with the equally repulsive civil service Euro-shills and lackeys) - Broken Britain does NOT need the Brussels EUSSR kleptocracy governance system - but the EUSSR needs Britain like a beggar needs a handout – or a Wonga payday loan.

Go, Boris, go!

Did you vote for Brexit back in 2016? Are you sick to the back teeth with Treason Maybot's conspiratorial efforts to keep Broken Britain tied to the EUSSR? Would you like to see political Remainiac forces of evil pilloried and deselected – and legal challenge meddlers alike spoiled immigrant bitch cum arch-broomstick jockey Gina Miller burned at the stake?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win a share of the £39 zillion quid the Brussels kleptocrats ain't getting paid in the event of a 'no deal' Brexit.

A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and address so the EUSSR lackeys staffing the uncivil service can pass your details along to their European pals for future opportunity harassment and payback by EUSSR customs and immigration apparatchiks when you venture off on a continental vacation.

Allergy warning: for readers suffering from HSS (Hypersensitive Snowflake Syndrome) – there is no known EpiPen medication remedy for adverse reactions to the 'politically incorrect'.
This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane orthodox irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour and caffeine-boosted public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and a chemtrail residue of genetically-modified bush telegraph innuendo.

Carbon Credits Cap & Trade Offset  Exchange (aka Global Warming / Climate Change Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: While a hefty score of conscience-stifled rabid royals, noncing nobles, political ponces, perjurious Oxford college principals, bent money-laundering Glassie lawyers and corruption-ridden porky plods might have become collateral 'fear and alarm' casualties and thrown into paranoid psychosis states of scandalous exposure anxiety attacks, no innocent non-combatant women and kids - and especially so Muslim migrant refugee 'Junior Jihadi' sprogs – or trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees, small furry 'felcher friendly' sized mammals – ferrets and stoats, voles, moles, white mice, bum rats, chinchillas, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, miniature coypus, dwarf beavers, etcetera, et al – were harmed in posting this insurrectionist Truthsayer epistle.

Conversely, a large number of the NSA – GCHQ / Gorgon Stare / Pegasus / Five Eyes Alliance’s Prism / Tempora / Carnivore / Echelon / X-Keyscore / SIG-INT I-Spy super snooper ‘Nosy Bastard’ wire-tap / IMSI catchers / eavesdropping Dachau DVD / Eco-Giraffe data mining / TOR sniffing / JTRIG / Umbra Ultra-encrypted system’s nasty panopticon network electrons on Hubble Bubble Road in EMF smog-bound Cheltenham were shocked into high anxiety states and temporarily inconvenienced by our act of disrespect for the neo-McCarthyite 'politisch korrekt' fascist sub-culture.

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Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness.
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1 comment:

Unknown said...

Yeah Baby, Yeah!