Tory Party Rebranded 'Bully Brigade'

In this week’s festive season ‘Enhanced Thuggery’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in non-linear scandal-mongering hot gossip from Mollie McSkanger, manning the editorial desk under a tarpaulin outside the Conservative Party HQ for Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with hot off the anvil dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

For fuck's sake, if it wasn't for bad luck then Scameron's Nasty Party Tories wouldn't have any. What a dog n pony show government we now have to suffer thanks to the likes of New Labour's Ed 'Wallace' Millipede being stricken with cancer of the personality and no fucker or their dog wanting to vote for him – so they chose the second-worst option – the fucking Tories.
The sooner a general election's called and the brain dead electorate vote Corbyn into power the better. Is he perfect? Shit no, but the closest thing you'll find to a principled and honest politician this side of eternity.

So as the spin doctors continue with their attempts to extinguish the smouldering embers of Twatler Tory scandal, a fresh conflagration erupts with the fast, cheap and out of control Nasty Party MP for Twatford-on-the-Wold in Slopshire, none other than the Common Purpose NLP brainwashed Lucy Allan – first conjuring up death threats on her Fuckbook web page to get some hapless bloke with an honest opinion in the shit - and is now publicly exposed by an offended intern turned whistle-blower as Miss Tory Bully Boots 2015 for her customary habit of unleashing tirades of profane verbal abuse against her underpaid – and volunteer – zero hours contract minions every time she fucks up and, being such an egocentric prima donna, needs to splash out with the blame brush.

To regress, we have the Tatler Tory clique (Shaun 'Golly' Bailey, Mark 'De Pimp' Clarke, Joanne 'Suck n Swallow' Gash, Annonziata Rees-Mingger and Peter Lyingit) all getting the bum's rush - with chief pimp Marky Mark Clarke, appointed official provider of rosy cheeked and dimpled toyboys and other assorted split-arsed bumfodder for the Tory GropeTrip 2015 Fuck Bus re-election campaign - expelled from the Nasty Party with extreme prejudice for bullying. blackmail, rape, treason and murder plus being an all-round oick – and driving Nasty Party activist / campaign worker Elliot Johnson to suicide due relentless bullying and blackmail attempts and subjecting him to a kangaroo court ordeal and physical beatings.

It is now alleged that Johnson - rumour holds a Very Important Paedophile catamite wannabe - died of shame following an East India Club black tie felching orgy at Westminster’s now-infamous Hamster Square apartments where he had a KY Jelly-doused chinchilla shoved up his rear passage.

Next to go as the falling dominoes syndrome takes effect was Donal 'Piranha Teeth' Blaney, a former ally of shamed Mark Clarke, who was forced to resign as chairman of the influential Conservative Way Backwards nostalgia campaign group, set up to honour the Thatcherite legacy of mismanagement, privatisation and the continued coverup and protection of kiddie fiddling Tory MPs.

And let's nor forget the High Priest of Tory Sleaze - Grant 'Ten Names' Shitts – who once masqueraded as the Tory Party co-chairman until Scameron bestowed a lateral promotion to Minister charged with attempting to oversee MI6’s 'Secret Squirrel' Department for International Development (read 'Foreign Policy Meddling').

Then we have Nasty Party Chairman Lord Andy Pandy 'Get Yer Haircut' Feldman of Deadwood, with his ridiculous Donald Trumped bouffant coiffeur - rumoured to be Scameron's bestest pig-fucking buddy from Brownose College, Poxford days – and the pressure's on for him to fall on his own sword – or anything sharp that will result in mortal damage and herald his end as Nasty Party Chairman.

So, what's the tie that binds all these shitbags together? Apart from selling their souls to the Satanist worship cause, they all belong to London’s notorious Wanksworth-based Phoenix Lodge Masonic secret handshake sodomite / paedo / felching brethren 'and' the Porkies Blow Job Club.

Thus, as one graft and corruption (read 'criminal') scandal dies down with the slaughter of the sacrificial sheep (sic) the time is ripe for Lying Lucy Allan to enter this tragedy of errors - stage left.

In December 2015, Allan posted on her Fuckbook page what appeared to be an offensive death threat email she attributed to one of her Parliamentary constituents, a certain Rusty (nope – not me) which she later, when the scandalous truth was exposed, stated was a combination of several emails from constituents that got mixed up – with the offending post she claimed to be from Rusty (alias Adam Watling, son of Twatford-on-the-Wold Labour councillor Paul Watling) reading "Die, you ginger-mingin cock-sucking motherfucker, die!".

Then the controversy kicked in big time when Rusty's Dad got a cob on and contacted the Daily Shitraker with a copy of his son's original email: a plea to use economic sanctions rather military force after she voted in the House of Conmans in favour of starting air strikes against Syria - and which did not end with that profane phrase "Die, you ginger-mingin cock-sucking motherfucker, die!" - but rather a polite "Bye 4 now, Lucy" – thus publicly accused her of inventing the death threat.

Allan deactivated her Fuckbook and Twatter accounts following the incident and later apologised for creating a 'misleading impression' (er – lying though her T-rex-fit dentures) – then, while sporting her customary shit-eating 'I'm untouchable / above the law' grin – disingenuously claimed the controversy was not about her use of social media, but due to 'activists unhappy they didn’t get the MP they wanted'. What a fucking trollop.

Lying Lucy was duly reported to the not fit for purpose Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards over the incident – in all truth a criminal faux pas that the smirking, smarmy cunt attempted to brush off as simply another recurring instance of post-menopausal maniac madness.

Now Allan, being a twice-cursed tosspot and a soulless Tory liar – and as popular around her own constituency as a leper at a christening, is once again in the 'shit sticks' headlines thanks to her despicable Bully Bitch treatment of two (up to now – more to come) workers at her former Twatford constituency office – Arianna Bumbly and Katie Bellend – claim they were bullied by the star-crossed MP – and with the former having now made public voice mails left on her phone by Ms Allan while she was signed off sick.

The Twatford-on-the-Wold MP can be heard on the voice mail message screaming at Ms Bumbly, who had submitted a medical certificate as unwell to work.
“You are on a temporary contract. You are not protected by the law. You do not have 12 months’ service. If you sign yourself off sick … the only option will be to dismiss you.”

To wit, typical of the Nasty Party culture, this gloating by a Tory MP viz the shameful fact that workers have no legal protection - as new research indicates that 14 million people faced debt problems in the last year directly related to the sad reality they are on temporary, part-time or zero hours contracts: 1.26 million people now are forced to work part time because they can’t get a full time job – with 565,000 work a temporary job because they can’t get a permanent job – plus 790,000 people are forced to work on zero hour contracts as their main job - and the blue-nosed Toff's Party claim to be on the side of working people. Bullshit.

Speaking to one gutter press hack from the Scumbags Gazette, Bumbly and Bellend related Allan's constituency office was a nasty, toxic environment to work in, and when they complained to the Conservative HQ over her despicable ogre style behaviour, were told that sympathy was in the dictionary – right between shit and syphilis.

Conversely Lying Lucy's ex-campaign manager Katie 'Rat Fangs' Woodleg, founder of the Croydon Halitosis Society, suffered a minor 'blonde moment' career devastation event by joining the fray then publicly stating the uber-troll MP should bite the bullet and quit over the bullying allegations and all-round piss poor performance on behalf of her constituents – plus becoming yet another major embarrassment Scameron and his Nasty Tory Gang don't really need.

Hence we are left to speculate WTF the Tory hierarchy and the useless Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards Office mandarins will do in way of slapping sanctions on the egocentric gobshite twat for her guttersnipe bully bitch behaviour - for no amount of magic circle spin is gonna exonerate this ginger mingin slapper twat from her malevolent ego-driven indiscretions – nor the unqualified arrogance involved in Allan's sociopath dog n pony show performance. Who the fuck does the demagogic skanger think she is?

But poxy Parliament's shut down for the festive season hol's and now these scumsters are off for Christmas, toasting each other's idle overpaid arses in the House of Conman's duty free Strangler's Bar with glasses of Rothshite Chateau de Jobseeker's Blood (Great Depression / 1920's vintage). Thus by the time they reconvene in the New Year half the brain dead population that are baying for her blood n guts right now will be hung over and more concerned with credit card bills than exacting justice on Allan's worthless neck.

And Lying Lucy's 'outside the box' solution to calls for her to resign – or do a Lord Feldman and fall on something sharp and nasty - is labour on under the false and delusional impression that a festive season 'sorry' apology will suffice to appease offended egos and sensibilities.
Allan's the type of dog wanker who would push for the criminalisation of free speech where it concerns criticism of politicos – and specifically herself – and as to thinking outside the box – she should be in a fucking box – and six feet under.
Really, who the fuck voted for this Philistine – cos it wasn't the folks from Twatford-on-the-Wold?

So if any zero hours contract workers or bullied political interns / party activists would like to post Lying Lucy a festive season death threat or two on her Fuckbook weblog page, or send her a 'don't forget your toxic shite winter flu jab' reminder - then here's her publicly-listed House of Conmans e-addy: lucy.allan.mp@parliament.uk or alternatively as the House of Conmans doss house is on Xmas recess - lucy@lucyallan.com

Have you been accused of making death threats to shitbag lying scum MPs? Did you send an e-mail telling Lucy Allan to 'fuck off, eat shit and die'? Have you been gagged by the Nasty Party hierarchy? Do you have any photos of Posh Dave Scameron getting a blow job off a pig?

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Thought for the day. Summed up simply, Lucy Allan is a class act cunt. A cunt in cunt's clothing, as the adage goes – who, as rumour would have it – is only to be equalled (if not surpassed) in her innate nasty bastard contempt for others by bottle blonde Scouse donation-fiddling shitbag Charlotte Ann Leslie, the Tory Nasty Party's MP for the Bristol North West constituency.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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