Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Gourmet Shock: Syrian Troops Taste Like ‘Chicken’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In today’s edition of the prestigious Landfill Gazette tabloid, it was reported that General Mohammad al Scatt, the Al Qaeda-aligned commander of the faction-ridden Islamist rebel Free Syrian Army, informed gob-smacked press hacks that the barbarous acts of cannibalism by the pro-ZioNazi US / Qatar / Saudi-funded mercenary force’s Al Farouq Brigade following heavy fighting in and around the village of Baba Black Sheep – specifically mutilating the bodies - then dining on the internal organs - of President Assad’s slain Shi’ite Alawite sect troops – was an accepted culinary practice for his Sunni rebels - and do-gooder Western critics such as UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, Navi Pillock, could ‘eat their hearts out’.

Conversely, Khalid al Hamad - (a former Wolverhampton plumber’s mate, who now goes under the nom de guerre of Abu Sakkar so his Mum doesn’t find out he’s in Syria on a tourist visa and living out his sadistic masturbation fantasies) - the radical Salafist rebel psycho filmed in this gross act of cannibalism, duplicitously informed reporters he was simply driven by hunger having not eaten since the local KFC, McDonalds and Biffo’s Barf Burger fast food chew n spew outlets had been unceremoniously levelled by Israeli fighter jets last weekend.

“The Israelis, on the one hand they supply us with arms and high-fiving ‘well done’ salutations, then, in a volte-face they go and blow up our only decent food source with their US Shitstreak missiles. But it’s good that Assad’s soldiers taste just like KFC chicken.”

Footnote: Here in the UK - our once-sceptred isle before the determination of domestic and foreign policy were flogged off for thirty pieces of lacklustre silver to an arrogant cabal of grasping Shylock banksters to forward their vile Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion agenda - this carnival Libservative coalition government – a veritable circus without a tent pushing their austerity measures policies – (alas, we’ve seen better organised riots wherein the much vaunted Bedroom Tax has now been renamed the ‘Suicide Desperation Levy’) – led by the Nasty Party’s PM, Posh Dave Scameron, along with supplicant stooges Def Sec Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond and that closet case garden gnome-impersonator turned Foreign Minister Willy Vague - are of one mind (and voice) in ignoring the unbiased reports of UN inspector’s and international jurists.

This ‘trio of twats’ – under orders from the PTB military-industrial-complex and gangrenous plutocracy running London’s City Square Mile, Tel Aviv and Washington - are collectively bearing false witness before a compliant, corrupt media to condemn Basher Assad’s military for the alleged use of weapons of mass distraction – specifically Aum Shrinrikyo brand sarin gas – and rattling yet again their unsheathed sabres, issuing threats of ‘humanitarian intervention’ that will, if initiated into reality, like Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya before them, result in the displacement, maiming and deaths of every fucker old enough to scream and bleed.

What a pathetic bunch of dog wankers Britain is now ruled by – who, with a craven and slavish canine obedience, kowtow before the roar of their ZioNazi Master’s voice, to target Syria’s Assad political dynasty as it falls one step before Lebanon (and Hezbollah) and Iran on the Rothshite kikester’s crime syndicate shit list for a spot of Arab Spring revolution – while continuing to provide thumbs-up legitimacy to a bunch of Third World dynastic despots (read ‘tosspots’) running autocratic regimes alike Bahrain and playing at civilisation - where torture, beatings and extra-judicial killings have become considered on a par to a police caution or a Community Service Order.

Thought for the day: Fuck the ZioNazi core elite stooges and their New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.


Fletch said...

Brill post n lots of laughs. Great to have u back Rusty. Missed ur superb satires n caustic humour.

Anonymous said...

you made the funny papers