Thursday, 15 June 2017

Treason Afoot: MPs Plot to Nix Brexit

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Treachery’ political subversion edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with 'ring of the anvil' dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical pro-justice revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to the Worsminster / Shitehall grapevine resounds with rumours of perfidious sedition – and a coordinated Machiavellian scam headed by the personality-deficient and treacherous Nasty Party Chancellor, Philip 'Dandruff' Hammond, that is being insidiously conjured to not only exploit Downing Street's post-election weakness but destabilise Prime Minister Terry Mayhem personally and additionally overturn the Brexit referendum result, thus keeping Broken Britain in the EUSSR fascist federation.

The word on the streets claims the rodent-featured Hammond wants the UK to prioritise ‘jobs, prosperity and business’ in Brexit negotiations with Brussels and forget about the mass immigration of welfare benefit scrounging East European gyppos and Muslim terrorist types.

In an interview with the Treachery Gazette outside Mansion House yesterday, Hammond admitted he was lobbying to keep Britain 'broken' and a member of the EU customs union – a graft and corruption-ridden trade agreement between European states that allows firms to smuggle all manner of contraband shite across borders without tariffs or customs checks.

Conversely this would equate as the UK accepting trade policy set in Brussels on a permanent basis – and more damning still, not only preserve the EUSSR's fascist judges control of British laws – but maintain the current choke hold on Britain's options for striking new trade deals around the globe.

The back-stabbing Hammond is being supported in his mutinous plot by former Nasty Party PMs, the pig-fucking Posh Dave Scameron and low life adulterer, John 'Wimpy' Major – along with the Tory's coke-snorting newspaper lad, Gideon 'Spankies' Osborne, Ken 'Groper' Clarke and Lord Willy Vague of Poufter's Corner - and Nonceland's Tory leader – the ex-bearpit wrestler, Ruth 'Knuckles' Davidson – all of whom have urged Terry Mayhem to soften her Brexit negotiations approach and keep Brussels happy - by doing what they say.

Hammond claims he is now receiving more support in Cabinet from Remainiacs (such as the recently-elevated career sleazebag, Damian Green) who had previously accepted the Brexit referendum results but now sought to change their minds and betray the democratic will of 17:4 million British voters who cast a majority ballot to Leave the EUSSR and ram their 'et tu Brutus?' daggers into Terry Mayhem's vulnerable spine.

In response to Hammond's duplicity and betrayal, furious Euro-sceptic Tory MPs last night related that every bugger and their dog were fed up with the androgynous Mrs Mayhem's prevaricating bullshit and half-arsed 'dog & pony shown' system of running the country, warning they will not tolerate any further indecision and backsliding over the hard Brexit plan - as Out means precisely that: Out.

So while Labour's Bliarite cronies have established a morale-draining culture of political infighting that has laid the party low, the Tories seem to be of a copy cat mood and adopting the same intrigues, with hard core Brexiteer cabinet ministers threatening to quit if the 'act tough' Brexit game plan is watered down - and warning the Maybot not to give in to Hammond's treacherous demands for a softer Brussels-approved deal.

Adam Qwerty, personal 'friend' - and spokesperson for - the expenses-fiddling Tory Minister for Lobbying, Liam Pox, broke down in tears while confiding to a gutter press hack from the Daily Shitraker that his boss's job would be pointless if Britain stays in the EU's customs union.

Qwerty added "Terry Maybot will face Cabinet resignations if she gives in to treasonous self-serving demands from Brussels' Remainiac stooge, Philip Hammond, to water down the hard Brexit game plan strategy – and my best pal Liam will be the first to go."
"Hammond needs to keep his Rowland Rat snout out of the Brexit negotiations and start obeying the will of the people - the taxpaying voters – and the source of his £141,505 quid per annum bloated salary - plus expenses."

In an attempt to calm Nationalist fears over her proposed deal with the Democratic Unionist Party, Terry Mayhem is scheduled to meet in 'around the table' face-to-face talks this afternoon with Sinn Fein ex-terrorist Gerry 'Bomb Chucker' Adams, and unarmed representatives of the Ulster Unionists, the SDLP, and the Proddy Knee-Cappers Alliance Party - in the saloon bar of Worstminster's Dog & Pikey pub.

Thought for the day. Hammond's treachery besides, bad enough having some perma-suntanned Third World immigrant slut like class act Remoaner, Gina Miller, interfering with our Democratic Brexit process as she and her moneybag pals want to stay in the EUSSR soviet / fascist federation - but when House of Conmans MPs starts kowtowing to the Round Table of Europe's Corporatocracy mandarins and their Brussels-based unelected kleptocrat commissioners, then that's treason of the highest order.

On a lighter note, the Nasty Party's extended 'coalition support' talks with the Ulster DUP could mean the Queen’s more scent than substance rambling speech – originally scheduled for next Monday – will be postponed until Terry Mayhem and her Tory cohorts decide what the fuck they are going to do next – to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Allergy warning: This article was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with measures of wild rumour 'and' decaffeinated public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

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