Sunday, 4 October 2015

Princess Pushy Nixes Animal Rights

In today's 'Unqualified Arrogance' special, we bring readers the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from the Anarchy Central 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill's 'Royal Desk' – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding non-conformists, proto-nihilists and career radical Republic revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Suffering yet another bout of her customary 'blonde moment' syndrome, the shit for brains Princess Michael of Kunt (aka Marie Christine Anna Agnes Hedwig Ida von Reibnitz) has once again failed to engage brain before opening gob and sparked fury amongst the Bolshie ranks of the common herd's dog n cat n budgie lovers by claiming there is no such thing as animal rights – due the elementary fact that animals don't pay taxes (just like Pushy and her influence-peddling parasite hubby) - or have bank accounts.

Speaking at the Henley Literary Festival while trying to flog her new pulp fiction novel (sic) – 'The Life & Times of a Royal Scrounger' - the gospel according to Princess Pushy states animals don’t have Magna Carta endowed rights due the fact they don’t pay taxes or have bank accounts – and nor do they vote in elections, either.

While copping a deserved 'incoming' shower of flack from outraged animal rights campaigners, the shit for brains royal embarrassment defended her statement with a repeat of 'You only have rights if you pay your taxes. You earn your rights'.

The muddle-headed bitch's love of glamorous fur coats, skinned from exotic, protected species, has previously provoked the wrath of animal lovers and put her on a collision course with PETA, who sent her a faux fur donkey jacket after she was espied feeding her scratty bantam chicken flock while wearing a real one.

Although one must consider the fact that the obnoxious twat, married to QE2's cousin, Prince Michael of Kunt, is blighted with post-menopausal maniac behaviour – irrational to a tee - and perhaps excuse her turning a vapid shade of puce when she fired back at critics – referring to them as 'low life peasant scum' – for her unsolicited opinion of anything is more at scent than substance.

Not only does this intolerant, xenophobic monomaniac have the common herd peasant class on her top ten hate list, but also foxes and squirrels – and especially Basil Brush who she holds personally responsible for eating her bantam clucks.
Plus the bigoted bitch ain't too keen on darkies either - being well remembered for yet another scandalous display of obnoxious royal behaviour in 2004 when having dinner at New York's 'Snobs' restaurant, referred to a group of black diners as 'low life nigger rappers' and told them to 'fuck off back to the ghetto'.

Princess Pushy of Muraszombat et Sz├ęchy-Sziget, who graduated from Madam Grotella's Geneva-based School for Spoiled Brats with a degree in Bad Manners - and the social graces of an Alpha Domina female baboon - allegedly labours under a delusion that she's descended from the royal Sumerian Annunaki snake venom bloodline – hence her delusional flights of fancy viz racial superiority and forever claiming the moral high ground when looking down upon the common herd.

Yet there's zero pedigree Lipizanner stallion genes in her inbred mongrel DNA - alike the rest of the Babylonian royal reptile clan, swimming too long at the shallow end of the gene pool.

Pushy's only claim to fame was winning the Olympic bronze medal for the Three Dimensional Hopscotch event in Munich, 1972 - and being a founding member of the Brandenberg Halitosis Club – until she got hitched to the ne'er do well Prince Michael 'Influence for Sale' of Kunt - a pair of scrounging hybrid mongrels together.
Then the stupid twat caused a media scandal storm by publicly cuckolding hubby with Russian furniture oligarch / toyboy cum sugar daddy Oleg Mobsaroubles – until his bullet-ridden body was discovered in his not-so bullet-proof Mercedes outside a Moscow knocking shop back in 2012 – allegedly a victim of President Vlad Putrid's FSB Mafia machine – or perhaps the same MI6 Increment assassination crew who knocked off royal embarrassment Princess Di' on orders from Bucks Palace?

Nope, the pompous six foot tall Hungarian-Kraut-Amazon skanger is simply an all-round bitter and nasty bastard – tainted by narcissistic tendencies and a penchant for screwing Russian oligarchs - and political correctness is definitely not one of her finer attributes.
But that's all a result of the inbreeding – this choleric European royal bonkers clan descended from the ancient Burggrafen von Dohna and Nostitz bloodlines – and Pushy a direct descendant of the Vampire Princess – Eleonore von Schwarzenbergbladder – madder than a rat in a coffee can. Just another obnoxious aristocrap with her arrogant 'divine right' head up her arse – and congenital states of mental illness – along with the big ears, slack jaws, piranha fangs and sexual perversions blighting them from womb to tomb.

A Kensington Palace insider, speaking to media hacks off the record outside Pushy's grace n favour mega-apartment, claimed her certifiable outbursts were due her being 'highly strung'. (ha, she should be – by the feet from a lamp post and pissed on by passing dogs – and urban foxes). Yet it's forever a problem when ego surpasses intellect.

Thought for the day. So animals are devoid of rights viz the fact they haven't earned them – by paying taxes, voting and having bank accounts. Hence according to Pushy's skewed logic, by consequence children too fall under the same 'no rights' category as they pay no taxes, don't vote nor do they personally open bank accounts.

Hmmm, long past time the incestuous royal parasites were dispensed with en mass – for the only parasite that comes to mind which is of any fucking use at all is mistletoe – although the apple tree might well disagree.
Really, who the fuck in their right mind would want to hang the wrinkled Botox-deficient Princess Pushy up-side-down next to Christmas tree?

Allergy warning: This anti-monarchist epistle was composed in a known propaganda-infested area - and whilst purposely blending high octane irreverence, slanderous allegations and unbridled conjecture with wild rumour 'and' hard public interest factoids - may also contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

wiggins said...

Uncle Adolf would have strung this ([un]entitled cow up by her scrawny neck. He was an animal lover and vegetarian to boot.