Sunday 20 October 2013

Tranny WPC Sues UK Plod Squad

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A transsexual Plod Squad officer is suing his / her force after she / he / it allegedly had to ‘out’ themselves by dropping their pants and ‘proving it’ when challenged over their purported ‘female’ sexuality due sporting a ‘five-o’clock shadow’ and sounding too much like a bloke over the Tetra radio comm’s system.

The case, believed to be the first of its kind in the known Universe, was heard by the East London Employment Tribunal last week, which is now considering the presented evidence and testimonies of Plod Squad witnesses and the androgynous WPC McSkanger, to decide whether the case has merit – or if the complainant is simply another fucked-in-the-head neurotic girlie wannabe, frustrated that he’ll never pass muster in a bikini or elicit wolf whistles when kitted out in a mini skirt regardless of how many hormones they take to develop child-bearing hips and a pair of 38 C cup knockers.

WPC McSkanger, the youngest child in a family of seven girls, who grew up playing with doll’s houses and had developed an irrational Tampax fixation on reaching puberty, claims Smegmadale Police failed in their duty of care to understand the psychological support necessary with transgender issues after she had undergone male to female ‘gender reassignment’ surgery – also referred to as a Snip n Tuck procedure – or more crudely ‘Chopped n Channelled’.

The 6 foot 4 inch WPC Fellattia McSkanger, 44, formerly known as Ron, was born male and underwent gender reassignment in 1999 while serving with Middlesex Police as a volunteer Community Enforcement Officer on secondment from the G4S-affiliated Renta-Thug Security Agency. Four years later ‘she’ (sic) became a full-time PCSO and was deployed on the force's elite Dogshit Response Team.

After initially boasting about her sex change and attempting to raise awareness of trans-sexual issues at off-duty drinks sessions in the local boozer she became frustrated and distressed and suffered bouts of manic depression when fellow officers ridiculed her botched boob job and misaligned nipples, then collectively broke out in hysterical laughter when she confided she preferred penetrative anal sex as her ‘vagina’ was only ‘skin deep’.
McSkanger claims such incidents created an ‘intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating and offensive environment’ for her to work in.

A decision from the Employment Tribunals Service is expected early in the New Year, and that, if her discrimination complaint is successful, WPC McSkanger could receive compensation for the psychological distress caused of up to £300,000 quid; although she claims her main objective is to highlight the scandalous manner in which transgender issues are treated by Broken Britain’s multi-cultural society – and specifically the Plod Squads of England and Wales – while bonny Scotland is more liberally enlightened and permissive towards cross dressing and transgender topics - due the menfolk being indoctrinated into an established fetish for wearing tartan skirts during childhood.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Transvestite / Middlesex Police eh. Tricky one. Like the semantics play.