Friday 30 November 2012

Knobhead Politico Plans Greenfields Devastation

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to planning minister Nick Boles, the Tory MP for Maggie Thatcher’s old stamping ground (grotty Grantham), increasing the amount of developed land by 33% would (in his unqualified opinion) solve the housing shortage – ‘if’ the government can find a string of building firms with fuck all better to do – and a suicidal bent regarding corporate cash flow and annual profits / dividends - that’s willing to stick their necks out and construct low cost ‘affordable’ houses for first time buyers in need of 100% mortgages.

‘Affordable’ – what is it about the negative soundbite quality of that word which rings in the ears and sends a message to the bean counting centre of the brain that anything tagged with such a label most definitely isn’t ‘affordable’ – but a commodity aimed at embroiling some hapless couple with 1.5 kids in a lifetime of debt servitude to the money-grubbing usurious Rothshite bankster crime syndicate.

As we seem to have already built over the countryside’s historic floodplains - evidenced by anyone living within a mile of a river this past week having to sit watching the telly in a pair of waders thanks to all the rainfall putting a timely end to the hosepipe ban – Boles has come up with a moronic scheme that building on a mere 3% of the sacred and hallowed greenbelt of our once-sceptred isle - bringing the total to in excess of 12% - will solve the housing problem.

In Boles own words: "People have a God-given right to a home with a little bit of private space to swing a cat around in and bring up their family.” (Yeah right - commonly known in Lancashire and other ‘grim up North’ working class ghettoes as a ‘back yard’).

Now why the fuck Posh Dave Scameron or Local Communities Minister Eric ‘I Beat Bulimia’ Pickles have put this tosser in charge of planning anything, and bestowed him with a free licence to run around earmarking our national green spaces and woodlands for decimation is anyone’s guess - but the decision has all the makings of becoming a total clusterfuck of Biblical proportions as the only thing he’s ever planned since being in office was getting his live-in Israeli boyfriend a ‘fiancée’ visa via the ‘backdoor’ (sic – no pun intended).

Canny Brits of the senior citizen variety might remember Boles with distaste – not so much for the fact he’s a self-outed cock-sucking sodomite who attended the 2012 Bilderberg meeting but that he made a brownie points / get noticed speech at the Resolution Foundation Think Tank in June to float a call for the end to annual Winter Fuel Payments, free prescriptions, free bus travel and free TV licences for pensioners – but for putting forward a motion to scrap the kid’s Sure Start educational scheme as it costs too much (perhaps on a par with MP’s lifestyles).

Yet like so many of our self-seeking political scumbags, Boles live in a world detached from reality, an insular existence that centres around his personal hedonistic requirements – and has the brass necked audacity to claim for Hebrew language lessons on his taxpayer-funded Parliamentary expenses so he can communicate with his poofter Israeli boyfriend when they hold hands across the breakfast table – which he justified with arrogance personified quote: “It’s something I’m entitled to do and have done it and that’s that.”

Boles was made planning minister by PM Scameron in the ‘Titanic deckchairs’ September cabinet reshuffle and is a well-known proponent of liberalising planning regulations in Britain – by bulldozing the New Forest and turning it into a mega-sized sink or swim social housing estate – and describes opponents to his planning reforms as a bunch of scaremongering Luddites.

On the greenbelt build scam, Boles claims current housing is best described as, quote: ‘ugly rubbish’ and believes new estates don’t have to be like Coronation Street or something out of Shameless or Bell Enders – but rather building beautiful homes is the key to winning the hearts and minds of local communities currently opposed to having their woodlands chopped down to make room for ‘affordable’ cheap build dwellings for the waves of eastern European pikeys coming to the UK to look for non-existent jobs – and claim welfare benefits.

Getting carried away with his own pontificating verbosity, Boles opined to one press hack from Sleeping Rough magazine that “Owning a house with a nice conservatory, patio, barbeque and hot tub in the garden is a basic moral right – just the same as having a gay Israeli boyfriend, Sky Sports TV, an Xbox 360, a smart phone – and a House of Conmans expense account.”

So, in Boles’ scheme of things our national forests have got to go, eh – along with all the wide-open green fields. Bye-bye agriculture and crop circles – it’s all going to be Monsanto style genetically-modified industrial-farming Frankenfoods from here on – if the bonkers Boles gets his way.
And this prompts one to inquire – where the fuck is this twat living with his Promised Land partner – in some terraced ghetto sink or swim council social housing estate – or high on the hog?

But let’s pay this Boles cretin no heed as it isn’t going to happen. These are the same Tory pricks who were determined to flog off our beloved arbours to the Sahara Forest Trading Company and Pikey Pete’s Firewood Emporium under the flawed aegis of the ginger mingin Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman, she of the Desperate Dan chin, which saw her already lagging popularity rating drop below that of Jimmy Savile’s – and now she’s gone.

But if we’ve run out of brownfield sites and it’s open green spaces needed for housing, then we can think of several large mega-bucks membership golf courses ideally suited for conversion into social housing estates – specifically Donald Trump’s all-new Eeny-Menie links just north of Scotland’s kiddie fiddling capital of Scaberdeen.

Then we have all the taxpayer-funded royal parks and gardens hogged by our blue-blooded elitist parasites - along with thousands of acres of grouse moor and a fair selection of horse racing courses – with Ascot topping the bill for a few hundred rows of terraced slums – and all the streets named after Royal Ascot winners: Queen Anne Stakes Hamlets. Nice ring to it.

Next on the auction block - Posh Dave Scameron’s official Slime Minister’s residence of Chequers – now that comprises some 1,500 acres running up to the Chiltern Hills – all ready to be sub-divided into lots for blocks of flats with a nice view over the Buckinghamshire countryside – and an all-new triple-lane bypass connecting it to the M40.

Thought for the day. Hmmm, makes one wonder if the homeless legions of our sick society are better off staying cheap with a healthy al fresco lifestyle via Landfill Leasing – no council tax – or taking the wheelie bin out every Monday morning.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 29 November 2012

Tory Scum Block Palestinian UN Bid

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Broken Britain’s pro-Zionist ‘Friends of Israel’ Foreign Secretary Willy Vague is on the ball following a quiet word from the Rothshite crime syndicate and has ‘suggested’ that the UK (in all truth and reality the Tory Party) is likely to abstain in a key vote on upgraded diplomatic status at the UN for the marginalised Palestinian ‘Arab Muslim’ population of the outlaw apartheid state of Israel (formerly Palestine).

In a pathetic self-preservation bid to escape the fickle finger of fate pointing at the Zionist stooge sign hovering over his pointy head, Vague informed one press hack from the Shifty Shylocks Gazette that the UK would not vote against the petition, but wanted assurances that the Palestinians would seek to re-establish peace negotiations with Israel without pre-conditions – (such as demands for ‘peace’) otherwise he would be have to follow orders and abstain from the vote.

This vote is viewed by many ZioNazi watchers as yet another symbolic milestone in Palestinian ambitions for statehood about to be thwarted by criminal kikester elements of self-interest using the likes of Vague to keep the marginalised residents of the occupied West Bank and Gaza Strip where they belong – in bondage – while the nutty Knesset’s genocidal strategists continue to ponder on a Hitleresque Final Solution to the ‘Palestinian problem’.

(Well, let’s be realistic here, they can’t really use the Samson Option on them as that will make a total fuck of the Promised Land in the process).

Making a statement to House of Conmans MPs yesterday, Vague set out the conditions that Baron Rothshite and PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and the rest of the paranoid, certifiably-psychotic kikesters (those Khazar-Ashkenazi Jews of convenience) running the apartheid state of Israel think are necessary if the Tory Party dominated Libservative Coalition is to back the move to upgrade the Palestinians from their current non-member observer status to permanent non-member observer – without portfolio.

The first so-called condition is for an indispensable assurance to be given by acting PM Mahmoud Abbas that the Palestinians were committed to return to negotiations with Israel without any conditions concerning a halt to the on-going theft of their lands and the continuing construction of illegal settlements across the occupied West Bank.

Further the Palestinians must also agree not to seek membership of International Criminal Court (ICC), as any move to extend the jurisdiction of the court over the occupied territories or the besieged Gaza Strip could get PM Bobo Nuttyahoo’s Likit Party government in trouble for their human rights and wrongs abuses – and litany of war crimes.

However, in the absence of these assurances, the UK would abstain on the vote, which is consistent with the general apathetic view held by Western politicians for the principle of a future Palestinian statehood enclave in some dusty corner of the Greater Israel.

Really, has this closet case dipshit Vague ever looked at a 1948 map of Palestine – the Yawm an-Nakbah version - the start of the Palestinian Holocaust – the Palestinian’s ‘Shoah’ - or even a 1967 borders edition of the same?

Since this useless dogwanker of a Quartet Peace Envoy, Tony ‘Tosspot’ Bliar, is as much use as tits on a bull in implementing any form of negotiated peace accord in what was ‘once upon a time’ Palestine, then in light of these new ‘apartheid’ proposals being pushed by Israel’s hard-line Jabotinskist Jews of convenience such as PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and the racists running the Knesset, perhaps the UN should recruit the services of Broken Britain’s Tory PM, Posh Dave Scameron, to get involved on a personal level to push his Big Society concept so this self-promoting Chosen People - these sociopathic barbarians with their vaunted ‘higher culture’ - might get along with their Palestinian neighbours – the people whose country they stole by force of arms.

Thought for the day. Let’s not forget that there’s no mention of any such thing as a Palestinian homeland (such as ‘Palestine’) in that great Russian Tsarist work of anti-Semitic forgery – the Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion’ – which the kikesters claim is a counterfeit hoax on a grand scale.

If it is a forgery, then surely the 24 Protocols weren’t crafted by the Okhrana but centuries earlier – by the likes of the prophet Nostradamus - as every single one has manifested in actuality – and the remainder blossoming on the vine if we consider the good ole US of A’s ZioNazi dominated Brotherhood of the Snake’s Mid-East geo-political schemes with their Project for a New American Century / Foreign Policy Initiative / Greater Israel strategies.

Regardless of their perpetual cultural obsession with things kosher, usury anti-Semitism, the Holohoax - and snipping foreskins, the tactics of these Israel warmongers and their US- based AIPAC lobby plumb the depths of dishonour and indecency, due their litany of character assassination, selective misquotation, the wilful distortion of the record, the fabrication of falsehoods, and an utter disregard for the statutes of international law – and ‘the truth’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a politically-incorrect hostile environment infested with Māḡēn Dāwīḏ ZioNazi psychopaths and may contain elements of sickening Israeli schadenfreude, along with anti-Semitic paranoia, Holohoax ‘victims’ propaganda, unqualified arrogance, racist apartheid innuendo, lashings of Yidster hudaibiya, kvelling, hasbara and chutzpah - and quantifiable amounts of utter lunacy – along with nano-particle traces exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and a chemtrail residue of bush telegraph innuendo - plus a total disregard for the statutes of international law, human rights and the niceties of a polite and civilised society.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tories Push School Porno Curriculum

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

If it wasn’t bad enough having a total dog wanker like Pob Gove as our blighted nation’s Education Secretary, we’ve now got one of his underling mini-ministers, Elizabeth Mary Truss, the dipshit MP for East-West Norfolk, taking a break from her blonde moment adultery lapses to suggest that elementary schools start teaching pupils the ‘dangers’ (sic) of watching porno movies on the internet – by actually including online graphic pornography in their sex education curriculums.
Nothing too hard core – perhaps a sampling of porn baron Richard ‘Dirty Des’ Desmond’s ‘Red Hot’ services menu – ‘Sex Mad Skangers’ or ‘Cum-Sucking Asian Sluts’.

The fact Dizzy Lizzie seems to be personally possessed with the morals of a wanton harpy on heat doesn’t equate that parents wish their children exposed to salacious displays of three-hole BD/SM sex when classroom time would be better spent improving their grasp of the ‘three R’s’ (and no – not Raped, Ravished and Rooted).

However Truss, yet another Common Purpose NLP-brainwashed zombie with the IQ of a potted plant, is adamant in her unqualified arrogant opinion that schools should commence providing internet porno’ viewing lessons as part of their Personal, Social, Health and Economic classes – even if such might traumatise both sexes
and elicit negative responses concerning self-esteem if they’re viewing stellar examples of naked male and female physiques – then question why their boobs or penis are so inadequate in proportion compared to Randy Rita’s tits – or Dick the Dirty Dogger’s dork.

Conversely, such viewings could well serve an opposite purpose and alert them to the fact that even in the midst of his continuing depression there’s a fortune to be made if anyone fancies a career flogging their golly – or in the case of the gay male members of the class – their arses – by appearing in paedo’ movies with members of the Tory Cabinet – or uploading kiddie sex pix for masturbation fantasy perusal and purchase by some New Labour PM’s personal Parliamentary assistant.

Ms Fellattia Titwank, director of Childline, informed a press hack from the Kiddie Fiddlers Gazette that they’d experienced a veritable surge in calls from youngsters traumatised after seeing adult images online.
“Okay, a cadre of nutty progressives in our Libservative Coalition government wants all young people to have top quality, age appropriate sex education, so if one of the BBC’s celebrity DJs – or a randy Tory cabinet minister - gives them a cuddle or a quick grope, they know what’s going on and can demand “Promise you won’t come in my mouth” – or “You’re not shoving that up my ass without a condom on!”

“But a recent alarming study has revealed children as young as 6 are becoming addicted to internet pornography, and specifically BD/SM, giving them unrealistic expectations concerning sex – such as ‘must the female partner always be tied up and spanked before being subjected to a lesbian clusterfuck with strapon dildos?’.”

“Now we have Tory PM Posh Dave Scameron jumping on the bandwagon and claiming he’s ready to take action to curb online porn, and anyone buying a computer or signing up with an internet service provider will be asked whether they have children when they log on for the first time.”

“Yeah, nice one Dave, but online access besides – back in the real ‘touchy-feelie’ world how the fuck do you block access to your kids and keep pervs and paedo scumbags like Jimmy Savile, Cyril Smith, Sir Peter Morrison and MacAlpen’s Fusiliers from molesting your sprogs?”
“Most parents would far rather the government introduce legislation that not only ostracises male paedophiles from polite society by exiling them to some deserted Pacific island – or the frozen wastes of Antarctica where they can only prey on penguins - but has them emasculated and their foreheads branded with the words ‘Child Molester’.”

“I’m the first to agree that sex education and the youth of today’s awareness of matters carnal have gone well past the old birds and the bees stage – and it’s a good thing for children to learn that porn does not mirror real-life sex – unless of course you’re a porn’ star – then conversely we have the instance of a 9-year-old boy and his two classmates who gang raped his teenage babysitter after she teased them with hard-core pornography clips on her BlackBerry.”

‘If we want children to view sexual intimacy as something valuable, special and worthy of respect, then it’s my humble opinion to first introduce them via the route of voyeurism the same as my parents did with me - and let them go off and spy through the neighbour’s windows to see if they’re having a table-ender or a Lambtex.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 28 November 2012

Dorries Tops National Dickhead Charts

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A Cosa Nostra style thumbs ‘up or down’ decision on ‘Mad Nad’ Dorries' future as the Tory MP for Bolters has been deferred for a week following ‘up close and confidential’ discussions with the party's chief BD/SM consultant, Sir George ‘Mr Whippy’ Young.

Notorious around the House of Conmans for her stereotype Scouse delinquent behaviour and failure to engage brain prior to opening mouth, Dorries met with Sir George on Monday at his Chelsea-based offices located in Cheyne Walk’s prestigious Max Mosley Spankarama Centre, to explain why she skipped her duties and failed to attend vital Parliamentary debate and voting sessions to sod off ‘Down-Under’ and take part in a shit-for-brains reality TV show hosted by the moronic Geordie double-act Ant and Dick.

Dorries has recently returned to the UK after becoming the first person to get unanimously voted off ‘I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!’ by 6,000,000 viewers after she annoyed the living shit out of them – along with the other non-entity contestants - due her monotone whingearama about wanting to see Sally Bercow burned at the stake – and how Every-Ready make the best personal ‘Jolly Jackrabbit’ vibrator batteries that (like Dorries’ mouth) keep ‘going and going and going’ – to provide ‘orgasm after orgasm after orgasm’.

Following Mad Nad’s departure, Ant and Dick read out a selection of viewer’s critical e-mail comments and testy tweets which included “Dorries’ head is so far up her own arse it’s a wonder she can still breathe” – and “Talk about unqualified arrogance – but that’s always a problem when other people don’t share the same inflated opinion of your exalted person as you do” – along with “This Mensa reject’s got the IQ of a small potted plant” – followed by “The only thing worse than having a verbal diarrhoea skanger like Mad Nad on the show would have been that pair of dipshits Jedward – or the ego-stricken Bono” - and – “Is it compulsory to have a token obnoxious cunt on every instalment of this series?”

Conversely, Daily Puke columnist Mary Ann Bubblehead, a fellow female empowerment advocate, threw her two-penneth of support behind Mad Nad’s efforts and put her flamboyance and aberrant behaviour down to ‘a woman’s thing’ – specifically menopausal madness – the Thatcher years affliction that de-industrialised our once-sceptred isle, caused a three-pronged battlefront with unions, left Argentina without a battleship afloat and replaced Britain’s prefix of ‘Great’ with ‘Broken’.

“Nad’s one of us and a great source of ‘blonde moment’ irritation to that super-snob Scameron and Speaker John Bercow. Really, she’s a real thorn in Posh Dave’s side, which keeps him on his toes. And who can blame her, taking a few mid-life crisis weeks off to go and rough it in the jungle on bush tucker – eating crocodile’s willies and koala snot and sucking the shit out of a cassowary’s sphincter – and all sorts of horrid things like that – just grabbing her chance to play at Tarzan and Jane.”

However, George Young and threats of martinet discipline besides, Dorries insists she was given permission to take her Parliamentary break by the former chief whip Andrew Mitchell before he managed to single-handedly turn the entire British Plod Squad against the Tory Party by referring to their collective number as a bunch of useless tossers who need to learn who’s running the country and get into the habit of doffing their caps and opening gates for their social betters.

Yet the credibility-impaired Mitchell, now proven in a court of public opinion to be a serial liar, claims Mad Nad never mentioned anything about jetting off to Oz for a month to appear in some reality TV show, and yesterday informed press hacks that “The pleb bitch told me she was going to stay with Natty Rothshite at the family’s crime syndicate villa in Corfu and chat up Lord Peter Scandalson and his Russian exile oligarch buddies to back another of her bonkers socio-political ‘sensible shoes’ or anti-abortion schemes and get herself nominated for a do-gooder peerage.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Met Plods Slapped with Racism Charges

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Westminster Magistrates' Court yesterday heard evidence that a Metropolitan Plod Squad officer informed colleagues that monkeys looked like black people - but in his unqualified opinion were probably more closely related to cave-dwelling Neanderthals.

PC Kevin McTosser, 36, of Knobhead Terraces, at Deadwood in Essex, is accused of making the comments while on patrol at Regent’s Park Zoo earlier this year – while his colleague from training college, PC David Twatt, 42, of Xenophobia Hamlets – also from Deadwood in Essex, is accused of asking a perma-sun-tanned female officer, WPC N’kunta Jaffacake, if she ate bananas for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

However, according to their defence statements, both brain-dead plods denied being racists and maintain that any comments which might have been construed as ethnic minority / colour related – such as “Let’s search this shifty black gorilla for drugs and knives” - were simply Plod Squad jargon or friendly street talk banter used to communicate with the ‘natives’ (sic).

The two officers, who were suspended from the Met’ last April on fully paid gardening leave, are each charged with using threatening words or behaviour to cause alarm and distress – plus instances of racially-aggravated harassment to coloured members of the public – and in the case of PC Twatt, towards a uniformed colleague.

Judge Sir Jarvis Ffitch-Gargoyle, presiding over Westminster Magistrates' Court, heard PC McTosser was with colleagues at Regent’s Park Zoo in February, pursuing reports of a gang of suspected ivory poachers loitering around the rhinoceros pen with a chain saw, when he made racist comments as they strolled past the monkey house and watched the primate residents hanging around doing absolutely bugger all – apart from picking nits and pissing on each other.

Prosecutor Chlamydia Mingerot told the court that as they passed the primate enclosure on their way to the rhino pen PC McTosser turned to his colleague, PC Mohammed Patel, and commented "Look at the fuckin’ apes, they’re just like a bunch of drugged-up jungle bunnies hangin’ round outside the Jobcentre, waitin’ for the welfare benefits office to open."
Ms Mingerot then emphasised for the benefit of the half asleep members of the jury that "PC McTosser, knowing full well his fellow officer, PC Patel, was from Pakiland, deliberately made a negative reference to the chimpanzees – implying that they resembled the low life black – or coloured - elements of our society – and specifically ‘Neanderthals’ such as Otzi the Iceman.”

Meanwhile PC Twatt stands accused of making unambiguous racist comments to his colleague, WPC N’kunta Jaffacake, in March – who gave sworn testimony that “Dis honky scumbag keep callin’ me ‘Daktari’ an’ askin’ what do we eat back in Africa - an’ I tell him I’m not from dere but Barbados - so den he wants ta know if any of ma family is still slaves an’ workin’ in de sugar cane fields.”

In his own defence PC Twatt admitted the charges but claimed he only questioned WPC Jaffacake on the points in contention out of genuine scientific anthropological interest as he was awe-struck that someone could actually live on a diet of bananas or chew through a coconut shell with their teeth.

In summing up for the jury before they retired to deliberate on the presented evidence, Judge Ffitch-Gargoyle advised “While I do realise that these foreign johnnies treat we Brits with contempt and make all manner of rude comments about us – such as labelling us all ‘honky trash’ - when we visit their Third World dumps to see how the other half live – the fact remains that PM Scameron is pushing the Brussels / EUSSR Big Society multicultural concept so we’ve simply got to lose this outmoded Anglo-Saxon Protestant bias that states if they’re not white then they’re obviously black and pagans or Muslims – hence criminals on the make or terrorist types up to no good and after blowing up our democratic freedoms.”

Thought for the day. The Met’ has been plagued with negative racist issues of Biblical proportions since their SO19 Armed Response Unit went into ‘Kratos Psycho’ ‘shock n awe mode then shot and killed (read ‘murdered’) an innocent Brazilian electrician on Stockwell Tube Station back in 2005 for looking suspiciously like a Muslim terrorist bomber.

Love, it is true, knows no boundaries and can overcome all odds. However, multiculturalism doesn’t work – here, there, or any fucking where – as it runs contrary to the intrinsic essence of basic human nature. Them n Us / Us n Them – and ne’er the twains shall meet.

Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-20496392

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 27 November 2012

ZioNazis Demand Mid-East Nuke Ban Axed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A major conference aimed at banning nuclear weapons in the Middle East by coercing the region’s sectarian-bickering nations to sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty has been cancelled over concerns that such a move would prove an embarrassment to Israel.

The rogue apartheid ZioNazi state, while perpetually whingeing over the Islamic Republic of Iran’s controversial nuclear research programme – and themselves fielding a political policy of ‘nuclear opacity’ – covertly boast of their nihilistic ‘Samson Option’ and possessing a massive 400-plus inventory ‘MAD’ overkill nuclear weapons arsenal ranging from Bali Sari Club sized micro-nukes to city-devastating 20 megaton thermo-nuclear devices and nasty neutron bombs.

And that is to say nothing of their stockpile of tactical battlefield nuclear artillery shells, US-supplied RNEP bunker busters and strategic mid-range ‘variable yield’ 1 to 5 megaton W87 warheads mounted on their Jericho III ICBM’s that can reach Tehran (or Europe) with the wind behind them – especially so if fired from one of the Israeli navy’s German-built nuclear-launch capable Dolphin submarines.

To maintain this position of ‘nuclear ambiguity’ the racist Knesset leadership under ultra-Jabotinskist PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and the IDF’s knuckle-dragging psychopath command claim that signing the NPT would be contrary to their national security interests – which currently appear focused on expanding their US-funded Iron Dome anti-missile defence shield - and the all-new ‘David’s Sling’ – the soundbite-fierce codename for Raytheon’s super-smart Stunner missile interceptor system.

The Israeli regime rejects all regulatory international nuclear agreements – specifically the NPT - and hypocritically refuses to allow its Dimona nuke plant or Sedot Micha Airbase / Beit Zachariah or Palmachim facilities - to come under international regulatory inspections while demanding that the Islamic Republic of Iran permits the IAEA inspection teams full access to their nuclear research sites – and in the same breath insisting they shut down all nuclear programmes that might one day present a threat to Israel’s regional military hegemony.

Hence the intended Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty sign-up event has been scrubbed by the IAEA and UN promoters after a bout of lobbying by the good ole US of A’s White House on behalf of their AIPAC bosses due concerns that the Israeli regime would come under fire as the only possessor of nuclear weapons in the Middle East – which would obviously kick start yet another round of kikester whingeing of their stock-in-trade anti-Semitism and Holohoax denial accusations directed at any and all who dared criticise God’s Chosen People or what they do in their usurped Promised Land (formerly Palestine).

The Great Satan’s rug-munching Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, joined with the Obama administration’s pro-Zionist spokeswoman Victoria Nuland in arrogantly announcing "We will not support a conference in which any Mid-East regional state might be subject to pressure or isolation – and while excluding the likes of Lebanon, Syria and Iran from this list we do allude directly to such favoured US-friendly nation states as Bahrain and Israel.”

Thought for the day. This is dedicated to the eternal memory of 11-month old Omar Mashhrawi, butchered by the IDF’s latest indiscriminate bombing of the marginalised civilian population of the Gaza Strip on 14th November 2012. Like Auschwitz and the Holohoax – we shall not forget.

Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-20466027

Thus fuck the outlaw state of Israel and their Zionist New World Order.

Bobo Nuttyahoo and his war criminal Knesset buddies have another major embarrassment coming up this week when murdered Palestinian Al Fatah leader Yessir Marrowfat’s exhumed body undergoes tests for Polonium 210 poisoning and they find out that the radioactive toxic crap originated at the Dimona nuclear facility and ended up in Marrowfat’s mid-morning matzo snackie via the homicidal hand of Mossad’s Kidon assassination unit agents.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references along with lashings of cynicism and bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

NHS Tops Britain’s ‘Broke’ List

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Along with the Rothshite crime syndicate’s not-fit-for-purpose fractional reserve lending banking system and the criminally-corrupt social care child welfare administration – plus the rest of our once-sceptred isle’s Masonic pervert and sexual deviant-ridden festering establishment’s officialdom – the now-privatised National Ill-Health Service is topping this week’s ‘most broken’ list of national fubar’s and snafu’s.

Like the classic fairy tale prefix goes – ‘once upon a time’ - we had an NHS system which worked a treat – then the moronic powers that be went against the long-proven adage of ‘if it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it ‘– and promptly broke it – converting the mess of pottage into our current National Ill-Health Service - a PFI-run series of untrustworthy, profit-motivated free market enterprise ‘Trusts’ that are in cahoots with Big Pharma to pawn the hapless common herd patients off with any old shit to ‘treat’ a symptom but not cure it – for after all, there’s no profit in cure, only in treatment – and this factor applies too with the useless mercury-laden toxic vaccines that immunise against sweet fuck all but work to compromise a kid’s immune system and cause a variety of ills – not least of which is autism.

Hence the longer a chronic symptom receives a regime of expensive medical palliatives then the greater the profit (cancer/chemo) – and for those pesky ‘hopeless cases’ there’s always the reliable Liverpool Care Pathway (Scouse Assisted Suicide System) – previously referred to as ‘murder’ – plus a diversity of investment into body bag supplies and funeral services ensures that profit runs all the way to the six-foot-under patient write-off status.

So small wonder the burgeoning litany of official complaints regarding this piss poor NHS system are now endemic in their expansive proportions – with gripes and grumbles - and lawsuits - ranging from patients contracting MRSA and other minor plague infections from the manky magazines spread around family GP surgeries to actual hospital ward levels where a case of trench foot has ended up being diagnosed as a brain tumour - to say nothing of certain hospital’s associated mortuary facilities concerning acts of necrophilia committed on the corpses of deceased loved ones by celebrity DJs – and too the occasional Tory cabinet minister.

The Health Service Ombudsman, actually a one-man outfit, informed a press hack from the Euthanasia Gazette that the NHS needed a cultural change in the way it treated patients as many claimed their pets got better attention and care at their local veterinarian clinics than they received at the Harold Shipman Centre for Excellence in Health Care in Smegmadale.

Typical of our ‘Broken Britain’ society, the Ombudsman is the last port of call for patients – or their surviving relatives - unhappy with NHS care or how a complaint had been handled – normally by tossing it into the nearest trashcan and telling the concerned party to ‘fuck off’ – especially so when professional incompetence has resulted in patient deaths and the smell of compensation’s in the air.

In all, the Ombudsman received 16,333 complaints for the 2011-2012 period – with 11,000 of those redirected to other concerned organisations – such as the police or Crown Prosecution Service - or local grave-digger - or were re-circulated back into the NHS complaints system – where they were consigned straight into the nearest trashcan.

A further 1,000 complaints were withdrawn after the patients got fed up with their lack of NHS care and being treated by Jedward-double incompetents who droned on and pontificated like Bono – so opted for a one-way trip to the Dignitas Clinic in Zurich – with the Ombudsman investigating a total of 4,390 cases before coming down with an acute case of Charmaid's Knee and passing away unexpectedly at the age of 43 while a patient at the Freddy Patel Institute for Medical Guessology.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 26 November 2012

Council Jobsworth Brands UKIP ‘Racist Party’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The home of a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant English couple was hit with a SWAT style raid last week when a mob-handed team of Common Purpose-brainwashed local authority social workers descended and forcibly removed three foster children from their care after it was discovered they had voted for the UK Independence Party in the last election.

The couple, who cannot be named for legal reasons, (Ron and Bev McSkanger) have been fostering children for seven years, but a Stasi squad of social workers from Knobhead-on-Sea Borough Council, acting on orders of their Strategic Director of Children and Young People's Services, Joyce ‘Jobsworth’ Whacker - who, in her unqualified arrogance had decided that UKIP was a racist political party - snatched back the three placement kids as they weren’t what moronic social services classify as ‘indigenous white British’.

Ron and Bev told a press hack from the Xenophobes Gazette that the social workers accused them of belonging to UKIP – which they claimed is even more chauvinistic and bigoted than Nick Griffin’s BNP - or the pro-Zionist EDL who want to see all mosques bulldozed and Muslims burned at the stake.

Career foster mum Bev McSkanger explained “We woz gob-smacked when this Joyce Whacker arsehole comes along an’ sez ‘I’ve been watching UKIP’s leader, this Nigel Barrage character, on the telly an’ listened ter his racist policies – an’ wantin’ ter give the EUSSR an’ Brussels the big finger an’ have all darkie types an’ pikey immigrants hoofed out of Britain an’ sent back ter the Third World dumps where they came from’.”
“So me an’ Ron sez ter her ‘Wot the fuck has bein’ members of UKIP got ter do wiv fosterin’ children, yer stupid twat – cos it’s not exactly on a par wiv the Ku Klux Klan, now is it?’ – an’ she sez we’re the wrong ‘cultural match’ cos the kids are black an’ we’re white. Excuse me, did no fucker or their dog notice this fact on day one when the social workers dropped them off here?"

“It’s all a pile of old bollocks cos there don’t seem ter be any problem wiv that Sir Reg Twat / Elton John character an’ his live-in poofter mate havin’ some slag get injected wiv a cocktail of their jism an’ have their kids. So how virtuous an’ socially acceptable is that if we go by the precepts of our Biblical moral code I ask yer – a sprog growin’ up wiv no Mum an’ two shirt-lifters as their Dads?”

Defending the decision, Knobhead-on-Sea Borough Council’s Mayor Frank Moron opined to the media that “While UKIP might not quite be the British equivalent of the hardcore KKK – or the racist apartheid state of Israel - their election manifesto is quite clear on the fact the party wants an end to the active promotion of PM Posh Dave Scameron’s flawed doctrine of Big Society multiculturalism by local and national government and urges Britain to leave the EUSSR.”

Never one to miss out on seizing the opportunity to pontificate upon any controversial socio-political issue – especially so one that directly concerns UKIP, the indestructible party leader Nigel Barrage informed media hacks “Well, this is always going to be the problem when we have local authority social service tosspots brainwashed into a state of NLP fascist compliance by Julia Middleton’s Common Purpose social engineering outfit.”

“Now they’re branding UKIP as a racist political party with designs on ethnic cleansing and genocide if we get voted into Downing Street with a Parliamentary majority at the next election – and obviously by association any members of UKIP are going to indoctrinate their own kids – or fostered children placed in their care – to the same whites only / hate thy neighbour credo that they claim is UKIP’s mantra.”

“Well to my mind something’s more fucked up than a soup sandwich when they remove kiddies from a tried and tested loving foster home on grounds that the parents are a unique example of the dwindling national population percentage that are still capable of thinking for themselves and refuse to vote for the Tory Party.”

“But these same misguided jobsworths seem to have no reservations when sticking vulnerable sprogs into care homes (sic) like that Bryn Estyn asylum in North Wales which was turned into a local Freemason’s paedo’ brothel – just the same as Rochdale’s Cambridge House care home opened in 1962 by the town’s Rotary Club - where they’re prey and bum fodder for raving kiddie fiddling pederasts – such as the BBC’s celebrity DJs and major construction corporation directors and Tory cabinet ministers – and the Liberal Party’s own Mr Creosote pederast Cyril Smith.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Brown-Nose Hunt Nixes Scameron Texts

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s contemptuous twat of an Ill-Health Secretary, Jeremy ‘Mr Fix-It’ Hunt, he of the smarmy, shit-eating grin and gormless, psychopath stare, whose unqualified arrogance places his exalted personage above the laws of the common herd, engaged in an on-air spat with the Beeb's Sticky Nicky Campbell concerning an exchange of controversial text messages between Posh Dave Scameron and News International’s disgraced former boss, the scandal-ridden, spouse-beating, ginger-mingin Rebekah Wade Brooks.

Hunt, the Tory Party’s token Morlock, who gained a certain notoriety as being a low-down influence-peddling prick (Gummer / BSkyB factors) while culture secretary, tried his hand at the art of ‘black spin’ distraction tactics by suggesting the 5 Live breakfast show presenter was exhibiting a ‘masturbation fantasy’ salacious interest in the content of the texts and asking "Why you feel it's necessary to read out the content of those texts – are you trying to get PM Scameron in trouble?"

Campbell replied that he believed there was public interest in any scandalous personal relationship between an incumbent Tory Prime Minister and the ex-CEO of Raving Rupert Murdoch’s crime syndicate media empire.

A fair point too, as perhaps the public interest might well reflect on Posh Dave Scameron’s actual ‘up close and confidential’ relationship with his weekend horseplay partner Rebekah Brooks, galloping around the paddocks at Chequers while Sammy’s left to do a headcount of the kids and see which ones they’ve left at the pub – then texting “Loved the weekend Rebekah – you’re just so fast, unpredictable and hard to control - but such fun to have a romp in the hay with.”

Knowing the moronic media-fixated mind of the common herd, there’s bound to be the usual perverse ‘public interest’ with Brooks’ involvement with the mass criminal wrong-doing at the Sunday Shitraker when she was editor-in-chief, and later CEO of the Mudrock’s News Corporation – and is personally under investigation by all three of the Met Plod Squad’s separate investigations – Operation Scumbag, Operation Tweeting and Operation Twat-Watch - which cover conspiracy, corruption of public officials, breach of trust, bribery and phone hacking.

To put the boot in, this same Metropolitan Plod Squad who are investigating Brooks’ alleged criminal involvement in these cases are the very same Met Plods who, under the aegis of Sir Ian Bliar, were the ones lending her ‘gift horses’ from their Mounted Plod unit’s knackers yard. Hmmm, anyone catch the stench of a conflict of interest?

Hence once again it comes back to the public interest factor – text messages between an incumbent Prime Minister and a previously ‘Untouchable’ Wicked Witch of the West gutter press media CEO mentioning ‘will love working together’ – when the latter has now been charged with graft and corruption – and especially considering her pugilistic past criminal form for domestic violence - inflicted on hapless Bell Enders hard case actor hubby Ross Kemp.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 25 November 2012

OFT Slams Payday Loan Sharks

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The Office of Fair Trading and the debt charity Flat-Broke joined hands on Friday in condemning a legion of shifty shylock High Street payday loan companies that have sprung up like a crop of noxious alien weeds to seize opportunistic ‘disadvantage’ of the recession-generated negative financial climate that has manifested since casino trading-addicted rogue banksters crashed Broken Britain’s financial system in 2008.

As poverty-stricken readers will recall, this factor ushered in an era of mass unemployment, mortgage foreclosures, home repossessions and widespread penury amongst the ranks of the common herd – compounded by the fact the UK’s pathetic excuse for a Libservative Coalition government (that no fucker or their dog voted for) gained political office by default in 2010 and immediately set about slashing welfare benefits for everyone who didn’t meet their new Atosspots Wealthcare assessed statuary qualifying requirement of being an out-of-work quadriplegic blind-deaf-mute single parent with six disabled NEET kids.

A highly critical report has revealed how these pondscum money-lending outfits, which offer short- term instant loans with annual interest rates (APR) of up to a staggering 14,000 per cent, are leaving their hapless customers (read ‘victims’) juggling massive repayment debts and unable to afford the simple necessities of life – such as Sky Sports TV or their BlackBerry smart phone top-ups.

Ron Scrote, spokesman for the Flat-Broke debt charity, informed one gutter press hack from the red top Ripoffs Gazette that “These scumbag parasites are suckin’ the life’s blood out of our sink or swim council housin’ estate communities an’ rakin’ in massive profits from the frailties of the human condition. Wot they’re offerin’ now ain’t even payday loans set against a week’s wages or a month’s salary cos the people’s out of collar so it comes down ter an actual jobseeker’s allowance or child benefit or old age pension payback loan – an' yer don’t need ter have a degree in effin’ rocket science or Keynesian economics ter realise that 2 + 2 no longer adds up ter 4 when yer getting’ hit wiv 14,000% interest along wiv default penalties an’ late payment fees – cos wiv this type of gallopin’ inflation 2 + 2 needs ter equal 28,000.”

The OFT and Flat-Broke report found some dodgy lenders were actively encouraging customers to delay paying off their loans in a process called ‘rolling over’ wherein the hapless borrowers didn’t have to repay their original borrowing within the agreed time and rolled it over for another few weeks – which caused the debt to balloon to the size of the GNP of the People’s Marxist Utopia of China and incurred mega interest and late payment penalties.

One brain dead borrower with Slick-Quid — in the top five of Britain’s biggest lenders — who rolled over a £400 quid emergency drug deal loan the maximum of five times in a two month period after Customs seized his cocaine shipment from the Royal Mail postman, saw his debt swell to £4,286 - more than ten times the amount he’d originally signed in blood and pawned his immortal soul for.

Chlamydia McSkanger, a 16-year old mother of three and resident of Greater Manchester’s Stench Hill ‘Hopeless Case Hamlets’ regeneration housing scheme, spoke to the media about her traumatic experience of dealing with the insta-cash ‘Give-the-Dog-a-Bone’ payday loans company.

“Since I dropped the last nipper me body’s gone all ter shit so I can’t go floggin’ me golly round Southern Cemetery at night like wot I used ter - an’ the bloke wot collects the rent an’ the milkman – an even that dirty old wanker of a window cleaner - sez they’re not settlin’ fer a quick table-ender shag or blow job anymore an’ want payin’ in cash fer wot’s owed an’ services rendered.”

“So ter make ends meet an’ afford the kid’s junk food an’ soft drinks I went ter that Wanger payday loans place wot advertise wiv the wrinklie puppets on the telly - but they told me ter fuck off. Anyway I goes round ter this Give-the-Dog-a-Bone loan shark place wot’s next ter the Usury Street synagogue an’ they let me have a couple of hundred nicker an’ kept agreein’ ter roll the original loan over - 36 times in total - wot run up interest an’ wot-have-yer penalties ter £17,500 quid.”

“Then the bully bastard boss of Give-the-Dog-a-Bone, this Shylock Shekelstein twat, starts ringin’ me up at all effin’ hours of the day an’ night an’ makin’ threats about setting fire ter me pet pitbull Gnasher an’ kidnapping me kids an’ sellin’ ‘em ter some Eastern European pikey sex slave ring."
"So I tell him ter go an’ fuck a pig then the next thing he sends a couple of his Renta-Thug Security Agency heavies round ter put the hard word on me an’ one of ‘em pokes me in the eye wiv a sharp stick while the other blags me livin’ room an’ nicks me Pound Stretcher collection of Premier League soccer player porcelain figurines as a stop gap payment.”

Commenting on Ms McSkanger’s negative payday loan experience, Flat-Broke’s Ron Scrote explained that “This is a Micawberish symptom of our fucked-up society wiv people livin’ beyond their means – along wiv this effin’ government’s failure ter ensure people’s got a job an’ gettin’ a minimum livin’ wage ter pay their way.”
“So the Edomite mafia’s come up wiv this flawed Malthusian concept of how ter keep milkin’ the cow without feedin’ the fuckin’ thing anymore – an’ this has resulted in a debtocracy-based crapitalist monetary system. An’ is our corruption-ridden government gonna do owt ter correct this problem? Are they fuck as like cos they’re funded, owned an’ controlled by the bankster crime syndicates.”

Though for the day. Hmmm, 99% of humanity are bipeds that operate according to the dictates of their stomachs and sex organs – and though endowed with the ‘spiritually divine’ facilities of logic and reason, still prefer the path of folly.

Hence the maxim of Hanlon’s Razor applies yet again: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. Amen, here endeth today’s lesson.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Scotland Plans Ginger Minger Census

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Alex ‘Three Chins’ Salmond’s Scottish Nonce Party is in a state of rapture that their independence referendum might just cop a big all-round ‘YES!’ vote and allow them to hog all the North Sea oil and negotiate their own EUSSR membership deal with the kleptocrats in Brussels.

To this end the moronic porridge-woggers’ ruling the SNP’s Holyrood cabinet have commissioned the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money to work in conjunction with the Department for What Can We Fuck With Next to get organised and go out of their way to display political maturity and challenge the Scottish reputation for being tight-fisted - by launching a spendthrift research study to determine how many people in Scotland carry the ancient Celtic red hair gene through recessive inheritance.

Och aye – you heard it correct - researchers attached to the ‘north of the border’ DNA project, now satisfied there is no genetic link between men in tartan skirts and highland sheep - are hell bent on discovering why creepy Caledonia is cursed with a 35% population count of ginger-mingers – possibly a total of 1:6 million temperamental red heads.

Hmmm, an all-out effort to expedite a census of the ranga types living north of Hadrian’s Wall that carry the MC1R receptor red-head variant eh – while homeless people sleep on the frigid streets of Glasgow and Edinburgh - the mind boggles.

Whereas these arseholes can’t be motivated by having their consciences poked with the sharp stick of morality – or a smack from the big justice staff – into lifting a finger to copy the English-Welsh example of tracking down kiddie fiddling perverts in their midst – and here the focus is on the Hollie Greig scandal serial rape and sexual abuse of special needs and disabled children by an Aberdeen-based paedo’ ring of the establishment’s Masonic worthies – along with their equally-guilty apologists and protectors in the Grampian Plod Squad and manning high judicial office at the COPFS.

Hector McScrote, spokesman for the Tartan Tadgers Party, opined to one press hack from the Caber Tossers Gazette that “For fuck’s sake, red hair genes my arse - why not waste the money on something useful – like painting the Forth Bridge again - or having a Killiwacky bird headcount - or start our own Operation Yewtree investigation to root some of these kiddie fiddlers out of the Crown Office and SLAB and return some modicum of respectability to Scottish government - as the Sassenachs look north and see just a den of self-serving graft and corruption since devolution took effect.”

“Now here’s a suggestion, which will doubtless go down like a lead balloon – how about we spend the money on a treadmill for our First Minister to lose a few pounds – as since he’s taken to wearing that barmy ‘I Beat Bulimia’ t-shirt he still looks to be a couple of steps away from a fatal coronary or stroke – or both.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 24 November 2012

Hypocrisy Dave Slams Rwandan Opportunism

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Posh Dave Scameron yesterday went into total hypocrisy mode when announcing to gutter press media hacks at the EUSSR summit in Brussels that Baron Rothshite’s New World Order crime syndicate – and too a concerned British government – could no longer ignore the mounting stack of circumstantial evidence pointing a most fickle and accusatory finger at Rwanda's opportunist involvement with the funding and arming of the March 23 rebel militia with whom they’ve conspired to seize total control of the so-called ‘unobtanium conflict minerals’ (coltan – (niobium-tantalite), cobalt, wolframite, casserite and gold) in the rare metal ore mining areas of North Kivu – along with the provincial capital of Goma - in the neighbouring Undemocratic Republic of Congo.

Echoing a recently released United Nations report addressing complaints from the incumbent despot regime of the wicked West’s puppet DRC President, Joseph Kabila, accusing Rwanda of backing the M23 rebel group, Scameron announced the UK has to reconsider its international aid stance findings before committing a previously pledged £25 zillion quid donation of British taxpayer’s money to President Paul Kagame’s Tutsi Genocide Retribution Party government – especially so since Rwanda had more money in its kitty than Tory Chancellor Osborne’s from its contraband diamonds and precious metals trading.

With regard to the above, PM Scameron, resorting to his customary bovine rhetoric, has now publicly urged Kagame to prove he has no links to M23 leader Bishop Jean Marie Runiga - or sanctioned General Bosco ‘The Terminator’ Ntaganda, military commander of the rabid ‘for profit’ rebel group that has severed Kinshasa’s influence in North Kivu – along with Kabila’s precious metals income stream.

Scameron’s arrogant demands elicited a most negative response from Rwandan Foreign Minister, Louise Moshpit-Wikiwabo on this score of “How about we cut to da chase an’ dis Posh Dave character show to us dat de British government am not career apologists for Israel’s criminal treatment of de Palestinians in Gaza – or have no links ta supportin’ an’ armin’ da despotic Al Khalifah barbarian regime in Bahrain wot is kickin’ da shit outa da peaceful Shia protesters who just wants dere fair share of democracy – or armin’ dem Zionist backed rebel terrorist opposition factions in Syria wot wants ta overthrow President Basher Assad?”

“We have had enough of colonial empire games in de centuries past wid de stinkin’ French plonkers an’ do not intend ta tolerate dis tosspot Scameron wot is no more dan a meddlin’ white monkey wid his façade of Boy Scout Christian morality – an’ wot needs ta keep his public school snob nose outa things dat do not concern him – an’ get ta grips wid da problems on his own continent of Europe before interferin’ in African affairs like dat old bumboy faggot Cecil Rhodes.”

“De UK’s international development secretary Andrew Mitchell promised more aid funds when he dropped us a £16 zillion nicker payout before he got de job of Chief Pleb an’ insultin’ de Downin’ Street Plod Squad last September.”
“Now dis honky slut wot take over de job, dis Justine Greenthing, says my £25 zillion quid is on hold cos de House of Conmans MP’s am havin’ second thoughts an’ reckon we de ones responsible for uppin’ de price of de cobalt an’ tantalum cos we is backin’ de M23 rebels in North Kivu an’ dis is gonna be a key factor in decisions on future aid ta de government of Rwanda."

“Hey dis is de problem of President Kabila an’ his thugs in Kinshasa ta sort out wid Ntaganda de Terminator an’ his gang of cannibals in Goma – an’ not anythin’ ta do wid dese goody-goody busybodies in London wot’s probably never tasted a nice little fat Hutu piccaninny fresh off de barbeque.”

Thought for the day: Scameron’s more full of shit than a Christmas goose with his duplicitous pontificating on Rwanda’s President Kagame and General Bosco Ntaganda and their involvement in human rights and wrongs abuses and - Heaven forbid – Israeli style war crimes.

It’s all about the ‘unobtaniums’. General Ntaganda controls the Mungwe and Fungamwaka mines near Numbi, through the Great Lakes Mineral Province Corp., managed by Edson Musabarura – along with the gold output of the Banro Corporation and MOTO Goldmines.
Ntaganda, and by association Kagame, derive mega-bucks profits from mineral exploitation at Nyabibwe, through their alliance with Colonel Saddam Ringo. Same story at Rubaya where the money-grubbing duo rake in massive revenues from taxation levied by parallel mine police on the behalf of Krall Metal Congo Corp of Vienna.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 23 November 2012

Tel Aviv Bus Bomb – False Flag Op’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

While the Egyptian political hierarchy led by President Mohamed Morsecode and PM Dishrag Quandry have brokered a ‘balancing act’ truce between the rogue apartheid state of Israel’s IDF psychopaths and Hamas’ Gaza Gangsters, the clinically insane Prime Minister Bobo Nuttyahoo, joined by the equally mad dog Foreign Secretary Avigdor Lieberscumm, are still frothing at the mouth with rabid frustrations over what they claim was a Palestinian terrorist attack on a commuter bus in Tel Aviv last Wednesday that is reported to have left twenty-eight passengers in various states of shock – ranging from anxiety attacks to galloping paranoia to actually shitting kittens.

In a typical IDF ‘over-the-top’ response to the ‘big bang’ bus explosion, huge blasts struck civilian targets in the Gaza Strip as the Israeli’s Operation Fish in a Barrel genocide campaign of the besieged Palestinian territory continued with a fresh round of vindictive missile attacks and cluster bombings designed to target anyone old enough to scream and bleed.

After eight days of David versus bully boy Goliath flat out exchanges of fire between Israel and Palestinian militants in the besieged Gaza enclave, US Secretary of Sleaze Hilarious Rodent Clinton and UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moonie flew into Cairo on Wednesday for a publicity-seeking photo-op’ and attempt to look good by associating themselves with any peace brokering deal - along with a legion of like-minded Zionist kikester AIPAC apologists trying to get in on the act and denigrate the Palestinians as terrorists when in all truth they’re fighting for survival against their US-armed - and funded - psycho' aggressors.

Earlier on Tuesday the rug-munching Rodent and Ban Ki-Moonie held meaningless talks in the occupied West Bank with the Knesset’s chief stooge-in-residence, Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud ‘Three Chins’ Abbas – to work out a ceasefire between Hamas – who he has no control over – and the homicidal maniacs commanding the IDF’s war criminals – who had no intention of discussing a truce with any fucker or their dog while they’d still got a full arsenal of US-supplied high explosive nasties to drop on the civilian population of the Gaza coastal enclave.

As the Egyptian truce brokers gathered round for a heads-down tribal jirga in Cairo, Wednesday marked the eighth day of the latest flare-up in violence between the bully-boy ZioNazi state of Israel and Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip fighting for their dignity and to avenge the extra-judicial assassination of Ahmed Jamjari the previous Saturday.

In what amounts to a piece of bullshit irony, the Israeli government maintains Jamjari’s targeted assassination, and the subsequent offensive, was designed to end rocket fire from Gaza – a joke in itself as since his murder more rockets were launched over a 24 hour period than since Hamas gained elected public office back in 2007.

Sites hit in Gaza include the newly-completed Khirbat al Adas rapid transit rail link tunnel to Egypt’s Port Said; the Jaysh al-Usra Orphanage at Jabalyah; the Shaheed Semtex suicide bomb factory in Khan Yunus – and the Yawm an-Nakbah Red Crescent Medical Clinic at Al Qubbah.

The IDF claim 62 rockets fired by militants from Gaza had hit Israel on Wednesday, while another 20 were intercepted by its US-taxpayer funded Iron Dork system.
Hence if that’s all this much-vaunted air defence missile system can do against Hamas home-made rockets what fucking good is it going to be against the real thing supplied by Hezbollah or Iran – especially one with a weapons of mass distraction 'Kike-Gone' vermin exterminator warhead fitted?

To all intents and purposes Israeli intelligence (sic) has dropped a major bollock in targeting Hamas commander Ahmed Jamjari in a missile assassination strike last week as it has afforded Iran’s war master tacticians the opportunity to observe at close quarters their reactions and ability to deal with Hamas responses – and thus craft their strategies ready for retaliatory military actions ‘when’ (more so that ‘if’) Israel goes ahead with their pre-emptive strike against the Islamic Republic.

IDF General Shylock Shochet, commander of the Half-Cock Brigade’s elite Ethnic Cleansing Squad, enthused with his customary bovine logic, informed one reporter from Haaretz radio that “This is the way with armed conflicts – people get hurt – and luckily it’s these Muslim scumbags in Gaza and not my boys – as we have better weapons thanks to our Zionist brethren running the Great Satan. However, let’s not forget that most of the civilians in Gaza who were killed or maimed or simply escaped with a leg missing- deserved it for daring to confront us - their Zionist landlords.”

Conversely, Ratsach O’chel Batachat, head honcho at the Ministry for Expropriation of Palestinian Lands, and Yetzer Hara, the prestigious Goebbels Hasbara Institute’s Director of Black Propaganda - both, like Knesset leader Bobo Nuttyahoo, die-hard Jabotinskyists – were interviewed on Israeli television’s ever-popular primetime Warmongers Hour programme where they came out with a disingenuous blend of chutzpah and hudaibiya to silence international critics and justify the genocidal war crimes of the IDF’s Hafganat Koah Brigade.

This insult to anyone’s intelligence was supplemented with an audacious demand that a truce include provision to ban hostile fire of any kind from Gaza – duck stones, lumps of rubble, catapulted DU fragments or rotten eggs - along with international watchdog efforts to prevent Hamas from re-arming – especially with the Iranian Fajr-5 missiles that had got round the Iron Dork missile defence system and rained down on Tel Aviv.

In contrast all Hamas is ‘requesting’ is a bit of fair play for a change - an end to the blockade of Gaza and the illegal extra-judicial targeted killings of their hapless citizens by the psychotic Khazar-Ashkenazi secular Jews of convenience running the ZioNazi state – and to stop blaming them for the false flag terrorist op’s carried out by the Shlomo Matzo agent provocateurs working for Shin Beth or Mossad’s Kidon Unit - specifically Wednesday’s Tel Aviv bus bombing which was no more deadly than an M84 ‘flash/bang’ stun grenade set off for effect.

Mohammed al Ka-Boom, commander of Hamas’ Saracen Scallies Brigade, interviewed by a press hack from the Jolly Jihad Gazette, explained “The bus bombing has Israeli false flag op’ fingerprints all over it - and let’s not hear any dismissive bullshit about – “Oh, Mossad wouldn’t do that, they’re the same as the CIA and MI6 – only involved in foreign intelligence missions” Yeah right – ‘By Way of Deception thou shalt do War’ – you can take that to the bank – it’s Mossad’s credo.”

“Mossad or Shin Beth – this is just another of the false flag black op’s they’re notorious for pulling – normally in someone else’s back yard - such as 9/11 – the Sari Club micro-nuke bombing in Bali – the two Jakarta bombings – the Madrid train bombing – the 7/7 London tube bombing – and the Mumbai fish in a barrel fiasco – etcetera, et al.”

“And this bus bombing was an excuse to kick start a Third Intafada so the IDF could justify – with US backing – another of their order into chaos campaigns - the expansion of Operation Kill Every Fucker and the genocide of the Palestinian Muslim population of the Gaza Strip – and hoof the rest of the hapless fuckers out of the occupied West Bank to make way for more illegal settlements.”
“So it’s Insha’Allah that the Egyptian’s have forced this truce on the Israeli crazies otherwise things in Gaza would be going tits up in a big way right now.”

Alas for Palestine – no standing army, no air force, no navy – unlike their bully boy ZioNazi antagonists – aka God’s (Yahweh / Jehovah) Chosen People.
Then as Gaza continues to bleed – along with the occupied West Bank, the Zionist kikester apologists in the good ole US of A – the AIPAC propaganda merchants – and too the three main political parties of the UK – New Labour, Lib-Dum and ruling Tory – all have their personalised Friends of Israel Clubs – and allow the likes of BICOM to dominate the Gentile media system to promote the Hamas / Hezbollah / Iran Muslim terrorist line for their Rothshite crime syndicate masters.

So let’s be honest here – and call a spade ‘a spade’ – and ignore the stock-in-trade catcalls of anti-Semitism and Holohoax denial. The Israeli Zionists are in breach of international law and UN resolutions – and too the common courtesies of polite society - in all dealings with the occupied West Bank, Jerusalem and the besieged Gaza Strip – and the marginalised populations therein – the very people who these Zionist scumbags stole Palestine from back in 1948 and thereafter renamed it Israel.

It’s like having a dog and calling it a cat – it’s still a fucking dog – and can bark and bite if it takes a mind to.

Read history’s pages – for so many times have we seen colonial powers come along – and here Africa is a perfect example – and under their imperial jackboot have deemed to rename a country ‘Rhodesia’ to suit their own egoistic purposes – and then, with the advent of independence via a terrorist campaign, the ethnic rulers revert the name back to the original – ‘Zimbabwe’ – and eventually, as Karma turns full circle – hopefully back to Palestine.

Regardless of their perpetual cultural obsession with things kosher, usury, anti-Semitism, the Holohoax - and snipping foreskins, the tactics of these Israel warmongers and their US-based AIPAC lobby plumb the depths of dishonour and indecency, due their litany of character assassination, selective misquotation, the wilful distortion of the record, the fabrication of falsehoods, and an utter disregard for the statutes of international law – and ‘the truth’.

Stop press: in the interests of peace and tranquillity, the UK’s Ofcom have requested that Brit’s stop Tweeting sarcastic comments that as the Jews contrived to have Pilate order the crucifixion of God’s only son – Jesus - perhaps their Promised Land was actually Auschwitz and Belsen. Ouch, payback’s a bitch.

Thought for the day. So yet another truce, in a long line of similar truces, has been struck – and hopefully forged from stronger stuff than the pre-fractured crap of its forerunners.

To wit, the Western media headlines are full of how life in the Gaza Strip for the hapless, marginalised Palestinian victims – (besieged there behind the outlaw state of Israel’s 30-odd foot high Great Apartheid Wall in the biggest Nazi style concentration camp in the known Universe) – has now returned to ‘normal’ (sic).

Yes ‘normal’ for the marginalised population of the Strip – milk and honey denied due the Israeli blockade of every fucking thing – imports and exports.
No potable water, sporadic electricity from lack of fuel, zero gas due the Rafah pipeline being bombed by the IDF’s barbarians, fuck all medical supplies - and zero welfare benefits – apart from free body bags courtesy of the International Red Cross.

So if that’s ‘normal’ then something is very wrong in this world and an indictment of the sick society that Zionism represents – and all those who support this conjured Promised Land / Chosen People fantasy.

Thus, fuck the Rothshite bankster syndicate and their New World Order crime capital of Jerusalem. Plus fuck Israel and the Great Satan and the Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion – or the Project for a New American Century / Greater Israel agenda – or the Foreign Policy Initiative or whatever they choose to label this game plan devoted to their Brotherhood of the Snake cult and insidious god of greed: Mammon.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a politically-incorrect hostile environment infested with Māḡēn Dāwīḏ ZioNazi psychopaths and may contain elements of sickening Israeli schadenfreude, along with anti-Semitic paranoia, Holohoax ‘victims’ propaganda, unqualified arrogance, racist apartheid innuendo, lashings of Yidster hudaibiya, kvelling, hasbara and chutzpah - and quantifiable amounts of utter lunacy – along with nano-particle traces exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and a chemtrail residue of bush telegraph innuendo - plus a total disregard for the statutes of international law, human rights and the niceties of a polite and civilised society.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 22 November 2012

Vermin in Ermine Heads Lizard Banking

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Lord Peter Scandalson once made the superbly arrogant remark that he was ‘absolutely chuffed to little mintballs’ over chaps like his bankster dynasty pal Natty Rothshite and Oleg Mobsaroubles - the owner of Russia’s Wankprom Oil and Gulag Gaz - getting filthy rich – and hoped by association that some of the gilded lucre might rub off on him if he commuted up and down the corridors of graft and corruption for long enough – just like the Croesusian riches harvested by his old cottaging buddy Anthony Charles Lynton Bliar, who now dines nightly at the table of Lucullus.

Canny members of the Scumbag Watch fraternity will doubtless recall that the former Secretary of Sleaze, who was elevated to the elitist rank of Vermin in Ermine by Gordon ‘Cyclops’ Brown back in 2008 – the year of the UK’s great financial crash - was ‘twice’ forced to resign as a Cabinet minister due his dodgy dealings and influence peddling (Strychnine Hinduja Syndrome and dodgy Mrs Robinson ‘no interest’ loans).
However, since being hoofed out of the cosy New Labour business secretary sinecure in May 2010, Scandalson has undergone a Pauline conversion and now worships at the Cheesy Crust Church of Latter Day Money-Grubbers before the altar of Mammon – the avaricious God of greedy twats.

Scandalson’s secretive international business consultancy, the Shitesbridge-based Global Ripoffs is, typically, an LLP (Limited Liability Partnership) – a status designation which allows him to keep schtum over all the company’s dealings with shifty foreign types (gun-runners, drug dealers, Koshka sex slave traffickers) and managing the MI6 intelligence services black op’s slush funds – and has built up assets over the last two years amounting to what banksters quaintly refer to as ‘lots and lots of money’.

Global Ripoffs, (formerly Rock-Paper-Scissors Investments run by Wallace & Gromit Inc) which is managed by Lord Vermin’s loyal lieutenant Benjamin Wogg-Tosser, has now joined hands with Shape Shifter Trust SA and PR spin giant WWP plc and last year declared a taxable income and earnings of a mere £574,000 prompting speculation – plus a storm of caustic criticism - that Scandy was up to his old tricks again and using offshore tax haven dodges (Kazakhstan) to cheat HMRC out of their dues.

So, Lord Scandalson of the Felchers’ cup is filled to the brim, and now this cornucopia of plenty runneth over with the announcement of his elevation to the post of chairman of the Lizard International investment bank which serves to cater for elitist ‘reptile funds’ and looks after the Royal Lolly for the inbred mongrels of the Saxe-Gotha-Coburg-McWindsor clan.

Okay, no laughing now, still on a semi-serious note - but the top dog vacancy has arisen due the previous chairman, Ken Costa Coffee, departing the Lizard Bank to join the Church of England following his ‘divine’ appointment as head of a committee given the ‘mission impossible’ task of reconnecting ‘the financial with the ethical’ and convincing the City of London’s shifty Shylocks to rediscover their moral compass. If it wasn’t so ridiculous it might be funny.

The hapless Costa, after being spiritually touched in ‘mysterious ways’ and experiencing his own Damascene epiphany, has taken on this thankless burden to seek out a pragmatic solution of uniting the financial and the ethical sides of Crapitaism.

Alas, tis seen from cynical eyes as a doomed calling from day one as regardless of how many of Rabbi Sheldon Shekelstein’s synagoge money-lender’s tables he kicks over around the Square Mile there is no ethical side to Crapitalism – same as there’s no ethical side to extraordinary rendition and torture – or to the land thefts of Zionism - or shock and awe aggressive warfare – as any marginalised Palestinian in the occupied West Bank or Gaza Strip will agree.

For fuck’s sake, how the hell is Costa supposed to get the City to repent its sins when the den of vice was founded on income from the extortions of Empire and slavery and opium – and to this day profits greatly from human frailty and the dividends of international criminal enterprise?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Karzai Ready for Green-on-Blue Face-Off

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The good ole US of A’s ingrate Afghan muppet President - ‘Horrid Hamid’ Karzai - he with the yak’s scrotum headgear - went public earlier this week, voicing dangerous criticisms of his Zionist masters in Washington for their violations of a Memorandum of Understanding judicial agreement and illegally holding a legion of Afghan scallies prisoner against the orders of the Kabul government and law courts.

Liwat ibn Zamel, spokesman for Karzai’s incumbent Kleptocracy Party administration, informed a press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that US troops were detaining 70-odd adult males who were rumoured to have relatives that might be members of the Taliban muhijadeen – and the release of 57 has been mandated by the Afghan courts following their acquittals.
However the US forces, acting on orders from ISAF’s General John-Boy Allen, have still refused to release any of their number, citing them as a danger to the continued security of Western civilisation.

The memorandum ‘Scally Swap’ agreement, signed last March, directed US forces to transfer the suspected Taliban sympathisers to actual Afghan custody within six months – a dodgy deal Uncle Sam has not upheld and refuses to comply with – prompting the pathetic Karzai to order his NATO-trained troops to seize control of the Parwan detention camp, (aka the Bagram Theater Internment Facility) where prisoners - many of whom were incarcerated in a recent round-up of likely scumbags - are held in the top security ‘water sports’ section.

The two countries had signed a fatally-flawed detainee transfer pact last March, giving the Yanks six months to hand over control of all detention facilities and prisoners to the Afghan military in preparation for the scheduled Operation Cut n Run withdrawal by the Great Satan’s 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and the 18th Body Bag Brigade in 2014.
Although the official handover occurred in September, US officials, in a display of their customary duplicity, have refused to turn over several hundred prisoners they claim are too dangerous to release as they’ll start blabbing to Amnesty International and WickedLeaks about being tortured and abuse of their human rights by American sadists at the Parwan prison.

Mr ibn Zamel claims hundreds of new prisoners are being held incommunicado at Parwan and ISAF military night raids have been snatching in excess of 100 additional hapless Afghans per month.
To justify their breach of the memorandum agreement, US military officials argue that the Kabul government and their not-fit-for-purpose military are still unprepared to take control of the Parwan facility and are insisting that detainees considered too dangerous to be freed continue to be held under ‘administrative detention’ until Hell freezes over – a demand too far in Karzai’s eyes, as unlike in the good ole US of A under the basket case Patriot Act, imprisonment without trial is against Afghan law.

Speaking on Kabul TV’s ever-popular primetime ‘Spot the Stooge’ programme, Karzai declared for anyone interested in listening to his bluster and waffle that “If this infidel dog General Allen does not order his GI soldiers to hand over our citizens who have been found not guilty of terrorist crimes by the Afghan courts - and have been handed down community service order sentences for not paying their cave and hovel taxes - then I will give the Great Satan’s heathen rascals a ‘green-on-blue’ headache that they will not like if they refuse to release our prisoners immediately – if not sooner.”

Thought for the day. 2014’s coming up on us fast – and 11 years gone already, with the US / NATO / ISAF still no further along in their campaign to defeat the Taliban – a bunch of goat herders living in caves that beat the Soviets to a hands-down stalemate – and will do the same with this vile Zionist New World Order. That’s how things work – and have for millennium’s past - in the Graveyard of Empires.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 21 November 2012

Plods Charge Murdoch’s Marauders

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Issuing a press release to a pack of salivating media hacks gathered outside a rain-swept 10 Downing Street yesterday afternoon, Posh Dave Scameron’s official mouthpiece, Soundbite Scabby Bertin commented that her boss was now aware of the fact his ex-communications director Andy Coulson, along with weekend horseplay partner Rebekah Brooks, had been charged by the Met’ in connection with ‘facilitation fees’ (bribes) forked out to a legion of bent plods and a host of other untrustworthy public service officials.

However Bertin was quick to point out “Let’s be clear on something here with these graft and corruption charges – the PM had no idea he was associating with ranking members of the Murdoch crime syndicate when he invited Mrs Brooks to Chequers at weekends for a gallop around the paddocks. Nor that Mr Coulson was a total dog wanker as he never put anything about phone hacking or authorising bribes during his tenure at the Sunday Shitraker down on his CV’s job description when he applied for the post of spin doctor with the Tory Party.”

The gospel according to the Crown Prosecution Service claims that Raving Rupert Mudrock’s favourite ‘Ranga’ – News International’s ginger mingin former chief executive Rebekah Brooks, along with ex-Sunday Shitraker editor Andy Coulson, journalists Clive Goodman (Royal Scandals columnist) and John Kay (chief reporter at the Tit Ogler's Gazette) plus MoD employee Bettina Ffitch-Gargoyle will – along with fifty-two others scally types - face a smorgasbord of charges relating to their criminal actions uncovered by the Met’s Operation Scumbag investigation into corrupt payments - including conspiracy to commit misconduct in public office - dating back to 2002.

Operation Scumbag is being run alongside two other inquiries - Operation Tweeting, which is researching allegations of phone hacking and naming Lord Alfie McAlpen as a low-life kiddie fiddler - and Operation Twat-Watch, an inquiry into accusations of computer hacking into MI5’s ‘North Face Holdall’ files – along with a bevy of similar privacy breaches.

Speaking to gutter press hacks outside east London’s Scrote Green Police Station after being charged, Coulson appeared to be in top ‘spin doctor’ propaganda form and, putting on an Oscar-winning heart-rendering performance, stated he was extremely disappointed by the CPS’s decision to charge him with a crime that would be all above board if doing business in Saudi Arabia or any of the other Third World basket cases where baksheesh is part and parcel of the iniquitous national culture.

“For fuck’s sake, all we did was shell out a few quid for a copy of the Royal Family’s Green Book phone directory and a xerox of the ‘Cuckoo File’ - Prince Harry Hewitt’s dodgy DNA test results– so to my mind that stuff doesn’t really constitute acts of treason. Yet now none of the Tory top brass are willing to take a personal phone call from Rupert Mudrock – or accept a few million quid donation for the party’s election campaign coffers to make this problem go away.”

“No shit, I miss the days when Tony Bliar was PM – or Pete Scandalson was still Brownie’s business secretary, then this kind of police persecution and charges would be done and dusted with a quick phone call and a thick buff envelope getting dropped behind crapper #3’s cistern at Waterloo tube station.”

As for the previously ‘Untouchable’ Wicked Witch of the West, Rebekah Brooks, apart from the phone hacking allegations and returning one of Met boss Sir Ian Bliar’s pensioned-off ‘gift horses’ in a somewhat ‘damaged’ condition’, she’s also been charged with conspiring to pay Ministry of Defence employee Bettina Ffitch-Gargoyle £100,000 quid for top secret information that wasn’t readily available on eBay, Google or WickedLeaks - or the Russian FSB’s website.

Following a nail-biting anxiety session as she was charged, Brooks admitted to former press colleagues that she’s shitting kittens over the likelihood of copping a massive fine and a couple of years custodial jail time, locked in a cell with a bodybuilding butch dyke – whose misuse of steroids has equipped her with nipples like coffin nails and a priapic six inch clitoris.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

QE2 Marks 65th with Right Royal Piss Up

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Queen Lizzie Mk II (call me Brenda) has become the first British monarch to reach a 65th ‘blue sapphire’ wedding anniversary - so congratulations to Mrs Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg-McWindsor (no shit, how does that moniker fit on her bus pass?) and (begrudgingly) His Royal Rudeness, Prince Stavros of Edinburgh.

Apparently Brenda and Stavros have no Viagra-fuelled ‘second honeymoon’ sex romps planned for the evening and will spend their anniversary privately together at Buckingham Palace, putting on a cold buffet supper of roast black swan and baby grey whale fillets, to be attended by the bat-eared Dobby, Prince of Wales and his chain-smoking troll of a consort, Gorgonzilla, the Duchess of Cornhole; their influence-peddling middle son Andy and his harpy, piranha-fanged daughters Beatrice and Eugenie – along with the fudging Mensa reject Edward, Earl of Weetabix – and his gobshite, money-grubbing slapper spouse, Sophie.

While the official record of their first meeting is more at bullshit than substance, Brenda initially bumped into Stavros at Kosta’s kebab shop in Windsor High Street one evening back in 1945 as he was buying supper for Uncle Dickie Mountbatten – and on orders from the Brotherhood of the Snake’s eugenics committee, to maintain the regal blue blood mongrel DNA line, got hitched in November, 1947 at Westminster Abbey, where Wills and Katie Middleclass were wed to much public clamour in 2011.

The anniversary comes in the same year as the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, which was marked with an extra bank holiday to pacify the common herd and lots of ostentatious, wastrel celebrations paid for out of public funds.

Prince Stavros, now 91, was forced to miss some key events during the Jubilee special bank holiday weekend in June – such as the Gordonstoun Annual Buggery event - after being hospitalised at London’s Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence with a recurrence of his chronic clap infection, and almost didn’t make the 65th anniversary due being mistakenly put on the Liverpool Care Pathway 'mortuary route' by a non-English speaking Albanian pikey trainee nurse assigned to the VIP / celebrity ‘Jim’ll Fix It Ward’.

Nurse Slagella Ratnovik mistook Virus Man for yet another of the common herd’s legion of useless eater pension cadgers well past his retirement use-by date – and following standard NHS instructions promptly hung a ‘nil by mouth’ / ‘do not resuscitate’ sign around his scrawny neck.
Luckily Stavros’ SO14 personal close-in security detail returned from the pub before closing time and administered a life-saving injection of ouzo – then stuck the offending nurse in a big black North Face holdall and dropped her in the deep end of the Thames.

Stop press: Buck’s Palace had denied phone hacking rumours appearing in this morning’s gutter press Tit Ogler’s Gazette that Stavros sent a text to Prince Andrew stating “Now Sir Jimmy’s out of the picture, along with his little ladies – and all those Welsh orphan cub scout types with the cute pink bums he used to bring along - see if one of your Arab mates in Chelsea can loan us a few of their harem’s young suck and swallow sluts or catamites for tonight’s hanky panky festivities down in the dungeons after your Mum’s gone off to bed.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.