Saturday 29 September 2012

HK Triad Boss Flogs Off Dyke Daughter

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A notorious Hong Kong multi-zillionaire crime boss with more money than sense has offered £40 million quid to any man able to woo and marry Mingeeter, his raving dyke of daughter.

Leader of the feared Spitting Mongoose Triad, ‘Wu Tang Willy’ Chao, who rose through the secret society ranks from a 49’er to Red Pole to become Dragon Head, publicly promised the marriage bounty following gossip column reports in the semi-autonomous island’s South China Shitraker gutter press tabloid that his daughter had wed her long-term girlfriend, Ms Eat Mi Out – the lead singer with the outlawed mainland Beijing-based all-girl rock band - Gladys Gorgon & the Grottmeisters (formerly the banned Falun & the Gongs hip-hop / flip-flop group).

Diagnosed by top notch clinical psychologists with a chronic case of SFS (Strapadicktome Fetish Syndrome), the spank-eyed Mingeeter first became aware of her taste for pussy licking and ice pop dildos while playing the part of Little Miss Muffit in a high school play – and evolved a tomboy reputation due her acquisition of a collection of Jimmy Choo-Choo designer train set ‘real steam’ locos while eschewing dolls and the like accoutrements of girlie-hood.

Mingeeter Chao, a self-styled businesswoman and graduate of France’s prestigious St Sappho of the Sacred Godermiche College, who runs Kowloon’s ‘Gigi’s Secret’ adult sex toy emporium, is rumoured to have married her female partner of seven years, Eat Mi Out, in a ceremony in Paris earlier this year.

While same-sex unions are not recognised in Hong Kong, sodomite fudging and bitch-on-bitch rug-munching was decriminalised in 1991 by the self-serving poofter-infested governing ‘Special Administrative Region of the People's Marxist Utopia of China’.

Conversely, father Wu Tang informed media hacks that in his eyes Mingeeter was still single, and as an intelligent and beautiful girl could pretty well do whatever she wants to abuse her genitalia with cucumbers, vibrators and like phallic objects - but at the end of the day needed a strong husband to give her a ‘good three-hole rogering’ several times a week and produce him a brood of doting grand-children.

The ‘marriage bounty’ offer has, in the short space of a single week, generated a legion of replies from potential suitors not only in the HK island microcosm Sino enclave and in mainland China – from Beijing to Wanking to Bonking - but around the globe.

Applications and petitions are rolling in by the barrow-load to Wu Tang’s ‘Wed-A-Dyke’ website - from the likes of radical activist Chinese whistleblower Qui Tam - to Beryl and Betty, the celebrity pre-op’ trans-sexual Rigour Mortis ‘sisters’ out to try their luck - with an offer from convicted Siamese twin paedophile rapists, the Tu Yung brothers – to one hapless soul named Sum Dum Fuk who doused himself with gasoline outside Mingeeter’s Victoria Heights apartment then self-immolated in a display of barbeque-frenzied devotion.

Topping the NFC list (No Fucking Chance) of no-hoper applicants is a bloke that won a consolation prize on the X-Factor, boasts a twelve inch cock, and due Viagra abuse suffers from 24/7 priapism - who signed his introductory nude photograph as Tom – an object of mirthful derision now posted alongside Mingeeter’s collection of the same from every other ‘Dick and Harry’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 28 September 2012

Krauts Tax Catholics into Atheism

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Germany's Roman Catholic faithful are to be denied the right to Holy Communion and burial in consecrated ground – refused all religious services in fact - if they stop coughing up an extortive Vatican tax.
A very dodgy Bishops' decree which has just come into force states that anyone failing to pay the levy - an extra 8% of their annual income tax bill – is to be summarily excommunicated and no longer afforded the questionable benefits of being a Catholic.

The German branch of the Church of Rome has become paranoid and neurotically alarmed by the number of Catholics finally getting wise to their 2,000 year old confidence trick scam and leaving the church in disgust after learning on the one hand that Jesus started life as a Jew and was a practicing Rabbi, married with a brood of sprogs – then being further faced with the paradoxical controversy that the actual New Testament Gospels constitute a gross forgery committed by the Pio / Flavian ruling dynasty of 1st Century Rome to brainwash the masses and keep the common herd mesmerised and compliant – until the time something like television was invented – hence the entire Jesus, immaculate conception / virgin birth and Resurrection chronicles being more at scent than substance.

All Germans who are officially registered as being ‘religiously inclined’ - Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Pancake Tuesday Adventists and followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - pay a religious tax of 8% on their annual income tax bill. The levy was introduced in the 19th Century to compensate religious institutions for the land grab nationalisation of their extensive property holdings by Chancellor Bismarck.

Munich tax accountant Shylock Scattstein explained to a press hack from the Ripoffs Gazette that "If your tax bill is for 10,000 euros, then 800 euros will go on top of that for the money-grubbing Vatican gang – hence your total tax combined will be hiked up to 10,800 euros."

The German population consists of 30% Catholics, but the number of ‘wake-up call’ congregants leaving the church swelled into the millions in 2010 due the scandalous revelations of kiddie fiddling sexual abuse by a cabal of perverted priests at the St Sodom’s Church for Latter Day Paedophiles.

To enforce this ‘tithing’ the German Bishops Conference last week issued a decree stating that unless they continue to fork out the religious tax, Catholics will no longer be allowed receive their weekly ‘indulgence session’ – the ‘sin-absolving’ rite of confession - following a dirty weekend screwing someone else’s missus – or sneaking around the Bavarian Tyrol in Alpenjager lederhosen and shagging sheep.

Fellattia Titwank from the Munich-based grassroots Catholic campaign group ‘Penitents Now’ opined to the Ripoffs Gazette "The Bishops issuing such a decree to enforce the payment of the tax at this moment of time is really the wrong signal as the Catholic church is in a deep crisis due the economic recession that has the whole of Europe by the balls – plus the priests being exposed as bigger sinners than any of their congregation.”

Conversely Father Lukas Buttfokker, spokesman for the Bishops Conference, maintains the tax is used to do essential good works – such as providing hush money and compensation payments for the choir and altar boy catamite victims of child molesting priests who lack the intellectual nuance to differentiate between celibacy and pederasty – and end up as an embarrassment with their names on the Sex Offender’s Register.

Do you pay 8% of your gross income for the dubious privilege of being granted Salvation, along with ‘Everlasting Life’ and a ‘fast lane’ visa into Heaven without being issued a signed legal contractual agreement signed by a divine-authorised Archangel – or even a Vatican Cardinal?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you too could sit at the right hand of God every night to watch cloud storage replays of all your favourite mind-numbing Premier League soccer matches, X-Factor, Big Brother and Strictly Come Wanking episodes.

A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and location so the Office of the Inquisition has a record of where dissenting heretics and apostates live.

Thought for the day. So ,WTF next, we might ask – a return to benefices and wholesale simony? Regardless, fuck the Roman Catholic Church’s fairy tale scam and the venal Vatican.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 27 September 2012

Home Office Rethinks Crim-Tag Policy

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to a report just released by the Ministry for What Can We Fuck With Next claims the current private finance initiative scheme of contracting out the electronic ‘Tag-a-Thug’ monitoring of criminal offenders in England and Wales to the incompetent likes of G4S and Spewco should be restructured, with the entire system returned to the aegis of the Home Office to save zillions of pounds per annum under the draconian budget-slashing edicts of Tory PM Posh Dave Scameron’s ‘austerity’ regimen.

Senior Whitehall civil servant Candida Mingerot, the report's author, explained to a press hack from the Old Lags Gazette that “What this moronic PFI deal has done is present us with a myopic, centrally controlled and top-down scheme that’s served to enrich a couple of the ‘usual suspect’ security contractors.”

“Their approach lacks the innovation and flexibility our own Justice Department and Probation Service is capable of providing - if they get their sodding fingers out - as it’s not necessary to apply the science of predictive analytics to this issue when we can see how it can be done cheaper than the inflated rates G4S and Spewco invoice us.”
“Further, to date, these dodgy PFI contributors have, to my mind, failed to demonstrate their service is value for money or that they do sweet bugger all to reduce re-offending when a probation service officer calls around to the offender’s home address and find the actual tag has been stretched and slid off , then fitted round the leg of the family Rottweiler."

Justice Secretary Chris Graything, newly-appointed to fill the shoes of laterally-demoted centenarian Ken ‘Methuselah’ Clarke, was quick to add his two-penneth, stating for the public record that “New guidelines being introduced call for a smarter, more integrated approach - and that while recognising and being appreciative of the latest technology we are heeding Posh Dave’s call for cuts across all fronts of public spending. Hence rather than see millions of pounds wasted and a real opportunity to cut crime missed - we’re going to go ‘retro’ and re-introduce the good old tried and tested ‘ball and chain’ approach which will most definitely represent the robust alternative we’re seeking, and too be better value for money."

Probation Service director Baz McScrunt, interviewed on the BBC’s popular primetime ‘Jailbird Hour’ programme had this to say.
“Yeah, well obviously we’re gonna have ter continue wiv either the custodial sentences or taggin’ of some sort or the effin’ other as Austerity Dave Scameron’s ‘Hug-a-Hoodie’ campaign went down like a ton of effin’ bricks last year after the Met’s moronic Plod Squad fucked up royally an’ shot Markie Duggan an’ couldn’t find his non-existent gun wot he woz supposed ter have just bought from some scrote at Scally Hamlets in Leyton – an’ all them yobster riots kicked off in defiance of his Big Society utopian pipe dream.”

“Wot we’re getting’ charged by G4S an’ Spewco fer each offender fitted wiv their electronic monitorin’ kit cost £13.14 quid per day in England and Wales, while the equivalent ter fit these scallies wiv a 10 kilo steel ball an’ 6 foot of rusty iron chain shackled ter their ankle cost a mere £1.22 apiece – an’ that equates out at a £70 million nicker per annum savin’.”

“So there yer got it, our new generation taggin’ will promote improved behaviour an’ provide victims wiv the reassurance they deserve cos yer not gonna get any yobsters or scrotes climbin’ through Granny’s window ter burgle her pension book or runnin’ wild in a riot situation or pissin’ off wiv a 42 inch digital-ready flat screen telly out of Curry’s front window when they’ve got ter drag that weight around on the end of their right leg, now are yer.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 26 September 2012

QE2 Wanted Abu Hamster Snuffed

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

After being on the receiving end of a right royal bollocking from Balmoral Castle, BBC Director Georgie Bentwhistle has paid due penance by slithering naked through a sodden Highlands meadow strewn with cow shite, nettles and anti-personnel mines – then doggy-paddled across the citadel’s croc-infested moat – and crawled on hands and knees over a courtyard six inches deep in bleached peasant’s bones and broken Glenlivet bottles.

So, to what end was this act of supplicant obeisance performed, might we ask? To proffer his most sincere apologies at the feet of HRH QE2 for one of the Beeb’s correspondents transgressing the unwritten rule: opening mouth before engaging brain and inadvertently making a public revelation that Her Imperial Ruthlessness had raised issues of contention with Downing Street ministers concerning the anti-Monarchist activities of the shit-stirring radical Muslim cleric Abu Hamster.

Apparently BBC veteran security correspondent Frank McGobster, notorious around Westminster and Broadcasting House for his myriad ‘kiss n tell’ indiscretions, revealed during a Tuesday night interview on BBC 2’s ever-popular primetime ‘Tittle-Tattle Hour’ programme that the Queen had confided her personal concerns over Abu Hamster and the fanatical hate-mongering sermons to his privileged ear - which he was tasked with passing on to the inner backstabbers circle of Tony Bliar’s New Labour government back in 2002.

Queen Brenda was upset over Hamster’s continued freedom as the security services had wrongly dismissed the knuckle-dragging preacher as a bellicose troublemaker who was more at scent than substance rather than a fanatic bent on inciting a Holy Jihad against Democracy and Western civilisation - and overthrowing Britain’s historically-established status quo of the Four Estates of the Realm.

McGobster revealed that Brenda had whispered to him following a Halloween ‘Shape-Shifters’ black mass ceremony in the Hampstead Heath Masonic Lodge gardens how she was troubled by ‘dark dreams’ and paranoid anxiety attacks over the fact that Abu Hamster – “that horrid one-eyed Captain Hook character, spouting his monarchy-hatred sermons outside London’s Sharksfin Mosque” - could not be arrested or deported to somewhere nasty – and feared he and his Jolly Jihad mujahedeen were planning to blow her to ‘kingdom come’ (sic / no pun intended) in a Guy Fawkes style assassination attempt.

Applying the reverse psychology rhetoric of a well-clichéd provocative Plantagenet statement, Brenda posed the question “Really, Frank, who can one count on to rid us of this shit-stirring Muslim priest? The cheeky sod’s preaching hatred and calling our green and pleasant land a 'toilet' – and all while claiming mega-bucks in welfare benefits.”

“Should one have Stavros arrange another car smash hit, like he did for Diana and that Al Fayed costermonger’s son in Paris? Or have MI5 stick him in one of those big black North Face holdalls – preferably with some wild animal – a ferret perhaps – and chuck the oick in the Thames at high tide?”

The imprudent BBC hack further revealed during the Tittle-Tattle Hour interview that QE2 had entreated him to “Have a word with Tony Bliar – he’d cut his own Granny’s throat for a few bob – and perhaps talk to his éminence grise Peter Scandalson too – that slimy twat is graft and corruption on two legs. Tell the little poofter I’ll give him a seat in the House of Lords if he can arrange for Mr Hamster to get snuffed – or at least stay locked up in the Tower until they deport him.”

While the Home Office declined to comment on any such conversation between the BBC’s McGobster and Her Majesty QE2, New Labour’s scandal-ridden former Home Secretary David Blindgit informed media hacks that "The Queen and I held conflicting views related to Abu Hamster posing a threat to world peace - and it didn’t help matters during our last meeting in 2002 that one of her corgis gave poor Sadie a good rogering - after which we simply never saw eye to eye on the issue.”

In another of his customary sycophantic displays of toadyism, Labour MP Keith Vaz, chairman of the House of Conmans Brown-Nosing Committee, informed a press hack from the Grovellers Review that regardless of the impropriety of the Queen’s confidential comments to McGobster being revealed, they nevertheless served to illustrate how deeply concerned HRH was for the welfare of her beloved peasants.

Conversely the campaign group Anarchy Now! accused the BBC of revealing details of the Queen's interest in the case as a PR propaganda exercise that would serve to show her on the right side of public opinion – and not the self-centred grasping lizard-bitch she really is – with Vaz’s fawning servility a cover-up for Brenda’s pathological meddling in the political affairs of Britain – a trait unfortunately inherited by her eldest bat-eared son Chazzer, the Royal Plant Whisperer.

Bucks Palace have denied any such meeting or conversation between HRH QE2 and McGobster, concerning the radical Muslim cleric, ever took place - with Royal Equerry Sir Dinsdale Ffitch-Spatchcock informing the media “This might well be the work of that Helen Mirren woman who goes round impersonating Her Majesty.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wayward Schoolgirl’s ‘Extra-Curricular’ Activities

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

CID Chief Inspector Harry ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher of the Smegmadale-on-Sea Plod Squad today informed gutter press hacks that he believes school friends of missing teenager Megan Bolter know precisely where she planned to go and could well have helped organise a ‘paths less travelled’ route so she could evade apprehension by EUSSR community Stasi officers and enjoy her ‘adventure of a lifetime’ - travelling around Europe and studying calculus and differential equations ‘up close and personal’ with her 69-year old father figure maths tutor, Jimbo McScrote.

Megan, 15, from Houdini Terraces in the quaint village of Slappers Wood, was reported missing on Friday after she failed to turn up for classes at the Bishop’s Bell End C of E School – with a police investigation revealing CCTV footage that she travelled to France in the company of McScrote on the Absconders Line ferry.

The incumbent Lib-Dum MP for Smegmadale-on-Sea, Stan Clott opined to the media that "My concerns and sympathies go out to Megan’s parents – on the one hand worrying about her getting voluntarily humped by some paedo’ predator maths teacher from her school – and secondly having the moronic likes of our local plod squad on the case who would be hard pressed to find a drift of snow in the middle of winter – never mind track down a wilful teenager out to sow her wild oats who’s on the loose somewhere in Europe and thanks to all these CIS and Spooks TV series – and the Bourne movies - intellectually trained and prepared in chameleon camouflage techniques to avoid recognition and detection.”

Conversely, CI McGnasher further revealed “Administrative staff at Bishop’s Bell End School had apparently been investigating rumours of an ‘untoward relationship’ between Megan and Mr McScrote prior to her doing a moonlight and sodding off to France – due her attending a course of after-school extra-curricular ‘comparative anatomy’ lessons with him in the playing fields groundsman’s shed - but obviously didn’t act in time to prevent this incident occurring.”

Megan’s best friend and a former classmate Bev Titwank, a 15-year old mother-of-three, currently studying for her NVQ 2 diploma in Advanced Welfare Benefit Fraud at Slappers Wood Asbo Central Academy, informed reporters “This grungy McGnasher plod wiv halitosis an’ dirty fingernails comes round ter question me an’ some other chicks wot knows Meg’ an’ sez “I’m gonna get the fuckin’ truth out of you skanger bitches one way or the other even if I’ve got ter water board every effin’ one of yer” – so we told him “Yeah right, whatever - do we give a flyin’ fuck really” - an’ ter go fuck a pig.”

“This kinda shit’s nowt new at Bishop’s Bell End School an’ the effin’ staff and plod squad know it too. It’s bin a nest of illicit sexual activities fer kiddie fiddlin’ Masonic types fer donkeys years – just like the effin’ Catholic Church.”
“Back in 2009 we had that PE teacher wot woz jailed fer seven years fer groomin’ pupils on the Dirty Doggers social networking website then got copped shaggin’ a couple of underage chick’s brains out.”

“An’ let’s not ferget that old bastard paedo perv Canon ‘Ride-em Cowboy’ wot woz made a school governor even though they knew he had a stack of child molestin’ allegations lodged against him – then the scumbag got caught rogerin’ some Boy Scout an’ ended up charged wiv 38 sexual offences against minors over an 11-year period – an’ this school’s got the balls ter defend their abysmal record of duty of care. Wot a crock of shit that is.”

Thought for the day. Hmmm, something stinks in Denmark, and it isn’t Hamlet’s socks.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19717837

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 25 September 2012

MP Ousted for Questioning Official Lie

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s Parliamentary lower house assembly was thrown into tumult and chaos last Tuesday when septuagenarian Labour MP Paul Flynn was stricken with a bout of ‘ODD’ (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and breached the constraints of political correctness by standing up amidst the ranks of the forces of darkness to be counted - deciding it was a good time to cut to the chase regarding the ‘lost cause’ Afghan war and to state a few home truths.

For his valiant efforts Flynn was unceremoniously kicked out of the House of Conmans for having the audacity to go on the Hansard record, claiming the incumbent Libservative Coalition government are as guilty of lying over the state of the ongoing Afghan conflict as Tony Bliar was concerning the illegal invasion of Iraq.

An article in the Neo-Colonial Gazette reveals that anti-war campaigner Flynn, the Labour MP for Newport in Welsh Wales, produced incriminating evidence that proves the Tory Defence Minister Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond had repeatedly lied to Parliament concerning the conflict in Afghanistan and was doubly guilty of treating British soldiers like cannon fodder by dispatching further troops to die in vain in a war that was lost the day NATO ever stepped into the Graveyard of Empires.

When he refused a directive from Speaker John ‘Spendthrift’ Bercow to withdraw the accusation, a Standing Order 43 motion was issued for Mr Flynn to remove himself from the chamber – to which he indignantly responded by giving Speaker Bercow the ‘Digitus Impudicus’ – and hence an SO44 ‘Disorderly Conduct’ motion was issued and the Sergeant-at-Arms, Harry ‘Pitbull’ McGnasher, turfed the hapless Flynn out on his arse – with benefits and salary stopped for the day.

‘Dandruff’ Hammond appeared on BBC1’s ever-popular primetime Warmongers Hour programme the same evening, where he informed host Andrew ‘Bat-Ears’ Marr that Flynn’s comments were scandalous. “How dare this sheep-shagging Welsh oick use Parliamentary privilege and start spouting off like that in the House of Conmans."
"Really, one might well speculate what’s going to happen if every MP suddenly evolves a moral conscience when a member raises a question concerning the lack of a cohesive NATO strategy in Afghanistan and starts gobbing off and telling the truth – then our entire government structure collapses.”

In support of the MoD’s Hammond, the Tory Party’s Chief Whip, Andrew ‘Thrasher’ Mitchell - (yet another frog who dreams of becoming a toad) – took time out from writing letters of apology to the Met’s Plod Squad to inform media hacks that “Old Taffy Flynn needs to get with Parliament’s anti-snitch and grass programme and stop behaving like some tell-tale fucking pleb – rabbiting on about the Coalition’s flight from accountability and their primary responsibility being to Broken Britain’s voters.”
“How are we supposed to live up to our international commitments and get anything worthwhile done if we in government have to hold ourselves accountable to the common herd for every sodding thing we do?”

Flynn himself was hailed the hero of the day by press hacks and later feasted and toasted in the saloon bar of Whitehall’s Rat & Pikey Arms pub where he held court and proclaimed his reasoning for the outburst that saw him evicted from the chamber for the day.

“One of my Newport constituents, whose husband is serving with the Queen’s Own 21st Body Bag Regiment in Afghanistan’s Bellend Province, assigned to guarding the opium crops, came to my surgery last week and showed me his letters to her, clearly stating that the entire NATO / ISAF military force were turning into a bunch of twitching, paranoid nervous wrecks, constantly looking over their shoulder.”
“Now here’s the clincher, as this wasn’t for Taliban snipers or even the usual friendly fire from those deadly US remote UAV MQ-9 reaper drones - but their sneaky Afghan counterparts about to pull another ‘green on blue’ frag’ attack or shoot them in the back.”

“Seriously, I can’t quite decide if we’re a client state gopher to the US of A or simply the bought and paid for stooge of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s banksters - with our government foreign policy dictated by Washington and Tel Aviv straight to FS Willy Vague’s personal cellphone.”
“Just step back for a minute here and you can see the Tories and the Lib-Dums are both cheer-leaders for Israel - with the likes of Willy Vague an actual apologist for Israeli human rights abuses inflicted on the Palestinians and maintaining this ‘zero criticism of Israel allowed’ policy that the BBC and Rupert Mudrock’s News Corporation and Sky TV channel sycophantically adhere to.”

“But it comes down to a lot more than just these debt-racking neo-con wars of aggression we’re being dragged into by the Great Satan and the kikesters – with Syria and Lebanon and Iran next on the agenda.”
“The British electorate might well be deluded into believing they have a choice and some say in their socio-political destiny – but every fucker and their dog knows this is bullshit and our fate is decided by a sinister shadow government comprised of a corporate-financier elite that have the country by the short and curlies.”

“UKIP’s Nigel Barrage is right concerning this globalism paradox. We need to
establish a Diametrically-Opposed Party to restore our statehood and our sovereignty immediately if not sooner – which is going to prove nigh on impossible if our once-sceptred isle’s cultural identity gets further pawned to the EUSSR - and will vanish totally with the coming advent of an abominable European Federation.”

Thought for the day: Those who would ignore the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it.
Anyone recall the World War One-inspired Remembrance Day ‘Lest We Forget’ mantra – a gross hypocrisy as all we’ve ever done is ‘Forget’ - and do the same thing over and over again – and we’re still doing it – or rather allowing such to be done, in our name, by these career criminal pawns we refer to as ‘politicians’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 24 September 2012

Kikester ZioNazi Trashes US Hate Laws

In this morning’s ‘Spot the Looney Racist’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Not happy with attempts by an AIPAC / CIA backed two-bit movie outfit to kick start a Pan-Islamic Jihad against the West by producing a blasphemous video insulting the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and stirring up the religious sentiments of Muslims globally – or sitting back with a shit-eating grin as the French gutter press magazine Charlie Hebdo is permitted by their government to publish derogatory cartoons mocking the Prophet, depicting him naked - the agents of the United Zionist States of the Great Satan have gone a step further in their attempts to stir up sectarian hatred and incite a violent response to their vindictive mischief that can be blamed on Iran – and hence justify Israel’s scheduled 'red line' October Surprise pre-emptive military attack on the Islamic Republic.

In a further effort to achieve this criminal end and start a shit-storm of sectarian protests, an array of noxious anti-Muslim advertisements will go up across New York City’s subway system next week after federal Judge Shylock Scumberg ruled that the city’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority had no right to legally refuse to host the signs on the basis of demeaning language.

The campaign was created by Pamela ‘Bigot Bitch’ Geller’s American Freedom Defence Initiative (AFDI), an evil-minded racist cadre considered a sectarian hate-mongering organization by the United Nations legal department – and too any other fucker and their dog with a moral conscience and two ounces of common sense.

To wit, on Monday to push forward Geller’s latest scofflaw Muslim-bashing excursion, ten NYC subway stations will showcase vilifying adverts declaring "In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Support Israel - defeat Jihad."

Hmmm, obviously a direct and unashamed plagiarist quote from her inspirational model Ayn Rand, whose delirious support of the Israeli troops during the 1973 Yom Kippur War prompted her racist statement in ‘The Objectivist’: "Civilized men fighting savages”.

Geller, the ginger-mingin, venom-spitting executive director of the ultra-Islamophobic AFDI, stands by her abhorrent signage dynamic despite a legion of complaints received before the campaign has even begun - not only from Muslims but also Christians - and too orthodox Jews who see through the Zionist bullshit campaign for what it actually represents – high octane racism.

Notorious for her bigoted protests against what Geller, in her delusional beliefs and chronic psychosis, views as ‘Islamist propaganda’ and ‘creeping Sharia’ in the good ole US of A and Europe – she once campaigned for the closure of a Washington, DC museum exhibit that highlighted Muslim contributions to science (yet ignored Israeli Jewish innovations) – which the fanatical ultra-ZioNazi Geller claimed was limited to Jolly Jihad Semtex vest suicide bombs.

Here the intellectually-challenged Geller wholly missed the point that the rogue kikester Israeli state’s cutting edge gifts to 21st Century technology consist of micro-nukes – such as the false flag device that took out Bali’s Sari Club in 2002, along with the Stuxnet yid-worm virus – and the Holohoax ‘victims’ industry – not forgetting ‘Mama Shylock’s Oven-Ready Matzo’ and too the historic Jewish cultural creation of money-grubbing Crapitalism – plus the inherently-linked curses of usury and Debtocracy.

Defending her NYC subway adverts, Geller informed one press hack from the Hate-Mongers Gazette that while any criticism of Israel is verboten it was right to refer to Islamic worshippers as ‘savages’ due the fact they targeted innocent people in their suicide bombings.

Quote: "I will not abridge my First Amendment freedoms just to avoid offending savages when mothers and children on a bus are targeted - and kidnapping and murdering is savagery. The US and Israel do not conduct war that way – although sometimes there is an accidental death of a civilian if they get in the way of a bulldozer like that stupid Rachel Corrie bitch.”

Ha, what a joke – savages indeed. The duplicitous propaganda and hypocrisy these kikester scumbags spout, considering the way the Israelis treat the Palestinian population of the country they usurped and stole from the rightful, historic true ‘Semite’ Muslim inhabitants.

Today the Knesset’s fascist regime, led by arch-Jabotinskyist PM Bobo Nuttyahoo (a die-hard follower of Ze’ev Jabot the Hutt), collectively ignore the statutes of international law with a degree of unqualified arrogance that would make a pig barf – as the barbarity and human rights abuses they visit upon the suppressed Palestinian Muslim populations of the occupied West Bank and besieged Gaza Strip enclave far surpass anything Hitler’s Nazis ever devised in the way of torment to inflict upon their conquered peoples.

So enough of the Ashkenazi ‘Jews of convenience’ hasbara and chutzpah – and ‘hudaibiya’ – from this racist sect of homicidal psychos with no trace of Semite DNA in their genes - God’s Chosen People and their Manifest Destiny ‘apartheid state’ Promised Land, who refer to all those not of their ‘creed’ as the goyim – their cattle.

But what else can we expect from the batshit crazy Geller, who, by some cerebral abstract design, styles herself and this entire Islamophobic philosophy on the muddle-headed scribblings and flawed Objectivist ideology of the racist Russian kikester émigré Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum - aka Ayn Rand.

Viewing the record of past performance, Geller’s actions today must be viewed as being more of wicked intent than inspired by naivety which are fraught with the prospect of unintended consequences and violent repercussions for the innocents of this world.

Hmmm, perhaps the spendthrift Pakiland Railways Minister, Ghulam Ahmad Bilour, responsible for placing a US$100,000 bounty on the head of the profane ‘Innocence of Muslims’ video producer, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, for his sins and offending fractious Muslim sensibilities, might consider posting a similar ‘fatwa’ bounty - on Geller’s thick bonce.

Thought for the day. A perfect example of the delusional depths this Rothshite crime syndicate-funded ginger-mingin, menopausal maniac Geller is prepared to stick her neck out with outlandish claims and accusations, she maintains that Bosnian-Serb leader Radovan Karadžic, indicted for genocide and other war crimes against Bosnian and Croat Muslims during the Siege of Sarajevo and the Srebrenica Massacre was innocent - arguing without a trace of supporting evidence the Muslims were not murdered but committed suicide to embarrass their enemies.

Okay, time out - will someone please call the guys in the white coats – and don’t forget the straight jacket. Guess who’s a suitable case for treatment.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 23 September 2012

Blasphemy Channel: Jesus had Wife

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The latest and greatest shit-stirring news from the iconoclastic Blasphemy Channel this week claims an ancient scrap of papyrus makes explicit reference to Jesus having a wife – well, that’s the gospel according to Harvard divinity professor Ms Karen Kong, a world renowned expert on Egyptian papyrus scraps.

Ms Kong unveiled the 4th Century AD Coptic script during a six-day conference held at Rome’s Flying Spaghetti Monster Cathedral to an attendant audience from the Vatican and the Augustinian Institute of the Pontifical Lateran University.

The yellowish-brown faded papyrus fragment, resembling a corner torn off an Egyptian 28th Dynasty toilet roll, is slightly smaller than the average modern dog-eared business card and has eight lines on one side, in black ink, and is only legible under an electron scanning microscope.

Professor Kong maintains that researchers have identified the words "…and Jesus spaketh unto them “Me missus will be coming by later with the last supper – probably pie an’ chips as usual …” which, when one reads on, doesn’t actually refer to Mary Magdalene, a notorious Jerusalem slapper and long-assumed to be the Messiah’s ‘better half’, but some skanger with the unlikely Judaic moniker of Chantelle.

While Christian tradition conspiringly maintains that Jesus did not marry, Kong is adamant that “This argument is more at scent than substance as Jesus wasn’t a Christian but a Jew - and a Rabbi for Christ’s sake – whoops, that was said in context and no pun intended – and Rabbi’s, as the spiritual guide of the community, didn’t get the job unless they were a family man with a brood of sprogs.”

Kong believes that the ‘Rabbi’ contradiction besides, Jesus was obviously a radical thinker and not quite the same cut as the Pentateuch dogmatist Sanhedrin scumbags who ruled the roost in 32 AD Judea and coerced Pilate into crucifying the ‘Messiah’ due him being possessed with a ‘reformist dynamic’ and generally getting on the establishment’s wick with his up-ending the money-lenders tables in the temple (synagogue), then sermonising and preaching to every fucker and their dog that if they were good and nice to each other they’d go to Heaven and have eternal life and all other kinds of good shit.

Conversely Dr Candida Frigarotti, spokeswoman for the Agnostics-R-Us kick-ass group, claims Professor Kong is more full of shit than a Christmas goose as the New Testament gospels have been conclusively proven to be a first century AD forgery and just further evidence of the ruling Roman-era Pio / Flavian dynasty ‘offertory plate’ con-trick that the Vatican are still pushing 2,000 years down the road.

“Talk about your South Sea Bubbles and Ponzi pyramid schemes – they might well come and go but this one is still top of the pops with the brain-dead religious crutch masses after two millenniums, thanks to the crooked Vatican money-grubbers. Never forget, the gospel might state that ‘Jesus saves’ but it’s a fact that the Pope invests.”

The private antiquities dealer who owns the controversial papyrus fragment – a certain Signore Tony Macaroni of Milan, has asked to remain anonymous as he doesn't wish to be hounded by people making private bids when he puts it up for auction on eBay, where his ‘Image of Christ’ toasted Kraft cheese sandwich sold for US$28,000 bucks in 2004.

Thought for the day. Well, if Jesus was married to Chantelle of Galilee then at least it takes the edge off the speculative argument that he was a hard core gay who simply liked to hang out with the boys – his disciples. There again - it doesn’t rule out the fact he might have been bi’.

Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19648862

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 22 September 2012

Bully Boy Mitchell Disses Plods

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The newly-appointed government chief whip, Andrew ‘CocoPops’ Mitchell, has copped for a right royal bollocking off Libservative Coalition PM Posh Dave Scameron for his latest public outburst of CRS (Chronic Rudeness Syndrome) and told to say sorry to the Plod Squad detail assigned to Downing Street guard duty for the disrespectful remarks made to them when they refused to open the IRA-proofed main gates so he could ride straight through unhindered on his Armajaro mountain bike - instead directing him to the smaller pedestrian gate used by all other lesser mortals – including sexy Sammy and the Scameron sprogs.

Mitchell is reported to have loosed a stream of gross profanities at the duty plods manning the gates - which are only opened to allow four-wheel vehicles access – and castigated them with a diatribe of unsavoury comments, including: "You need to learn your fucking place in the pecking order of things, sonny" and “Don’t you know who I am, knobhead? You will when I speak with my good friend and fellow Freemason, Commissioner Bernard Hulk Hogan at Scotland Yard tomorrow morning”.

The incumbent Tory MP for Slutt & Coldfeet, Mitchell attempted to brush off the incident with a half-arsed press release, stating for the public record "On Wednesday night I attempted to cycle straight out of Downing Street but the brain-dead police detail dissed me by refusing to kowtow to a social superior and open the gates, hence I had to dismount and push my bike via the pedestrian exit route like some insignificant member of the common herd.”
“While I deny that I used foul language towards those on duty as the lying scumbags have told the red top tabloids, I have expressed my apologies to the supervising sergeant - and on instructions from Posh Dave I’ll also apologise to the pair of fucking morons who refused to open the main gate.”

A former British Army squaddie, the foul-mouthed Mitchell was bumped up from the international development secretary’s desk in Scameron's recent ethnic cleansing cabinet reshuffle to the post of Tory chief whip, to keep rebel backbenchers in line – a role perfectly suited to his intimidating and aggressive bully boy reputation.

Known to all unfortunate enough to cross his path and invite his ire as a stern disciplinarian with an ego the size of a camel’s hump – who as a child once received an RSPCA caution for bullying his sister’s pet hamster - Mitchell has reportedly earned the disparaging sobriquet of ‘Thrasher’ among the career masochist submissive Romany sex slaves he selects to ‘chastise’ during his regular covert night-time visits to Madame Fellattia’s Dominatrix Dungeon in Chelsea’s des-res Max Mosley Memorial Gardens.

Downing Street spokeswoman Scabby Bertin informed one press hack from the Dog Wankers Gazette that “PM Scameron has directed Andrew Mitchell to apologise to Mr Plod for his appalling behaviour and brazen hubris, referring to the officers as ‘oicks’ and demanding the main gates be opened just for him – and to further book himself in for one of John Prescott’s anger management courses.”

“It must be remembered that Mr Mitchell has been under a lot of pressure lately trying to keep this fatally flawed Coalition fiasco on a straight heading and stop the Tory and Lib-Dum back-benchers from squabbling between themselves, but it always manifests as a problem when the common herd don’t seem to recognise and respect the same high exalted opinion of our party’s VIPs that they seem to hold of themselves.”
“Alas, this is what happens when ego surpasses intellect and applies especially so in Andrew’s case as he’s renowned as the type of person you can take anywhere twice – the second time to apologise.”

Ah, the vagaries of political position – a person rises up on a whim then tumbles down due the slightest gaffe.

PC Ron McScrunt and WPC Bev Titwank, both serving officers with Scotland Yard's SO6 Diplomatic Protection Group, who were on duty during Wednesday night’s distasteful encounter with the habitually obnoxious Mitchell, gave their side of the story to the media.

“This tosspot Mitchell comes ridin’ up on his fancy bike like that other posin’ fuckwit, Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense an’ shouts “Come on, get your fingers out and open the fuckin’ gate for me!”
"So Bev sez “Yer gonna have ter get off yer bike an’ walk through the pedestrian exit like every other sod an’ their dog.”
“Then the prick throws a temper tantrum wobbler an’ goes inter flat out Tourettes coprolalia mode an’ starts waggin’ his finger an’ effin’ an’ blindin’ at me and Bev - an’ calls her a ‘gormless skanger’ – wot isn’t very nice regardless of her lack of social skills.”

“They do my effin’ head in, this over-privileged Tory elitist fraternity wiv their absurd sense of entitlement. Who the fuck does this Mitchell character think he is, tryin’ ter pull rank on a security detail an’ goin’ inter a foul-mouthed parade ground tirade like some gobshite Sergeant-Major on an ego trip just cos he can’t get his own way. Then has the audacity ter spout a stream of porkie pies that he never swore at us while gobbin’ off in his bike rage rant an’ callin’ us a pair of dildos in blue uniforms.”

Taking a leaf from BP’s corporate diplomacy doctrine handbook of pouring oil upon troubled waters, in this instance to soothe the Met’ Plod Squad’s offended sensibilities - and too negate Labour calls for Mitchell’s sacking - PM Scameron today praised the police, informing a gaggle of press hacks that: "They do a spiffing and outstanding job, protecting us from Al Qaeda terrorists and the likes of the Mark Duggan’s and Dale Cregan’s of this world’” – apart from the odd occasion when they accidentally murder some innocent newsvendor passer-by during a G20 demonstration – or shoot Brazilian electricians who look sort of ‘Muslimish’.

So, who do we believe – a senior politician or a policeman? A quick review of recent history, applying the facility of 20/20 hindsight, leads us to conclude that both parties have irredeemable negative credibility issues where the virtues of truth and trust are concerned.

Do you ride your bike around Whitehall? Have the Met Plod Squad ever stopped your daily ride? Are you always polite to the Met’s ‘boys in blue’? What would be your response if Andrew Mitchell called you a brainless twat? How about if Gordon Brown called you a ‘bigot’?

Send your comments using the online reply form below and you could win the chance of a lifetime to ride your bike through Downing Street’s main gate and piss on Mitchell’s inflated ego bonfire.

Thought for the day. Within the Oxford English Dictionary’s indexed lexicon of 750,000-plus words there is none that accurately describes Andrew Mitchell or his obnoxious, arrogant condition - however it has been unanimously agreed by a saloon bar gathering of off-duty Plods that the word CUNT comes pretty close.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 21 September 2012

Papal Call to Muslims: Stop Insulting Jesus

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The posting of a controversial sectarian-hatred YouTube video via the medium of the Riyhad-based Camel-Net server, apparently filmed by the shit-stirring political propaganda arm of the Qatar / Saudi-funded Al Qaeda terrorist movement, has sent the Vatican and devout Christians around the world into a dummy-spitting frenzy of outrage in the way it mocks Jesus and his Mum, the Virgin Mary.

Demonstrations have broken out across the Christian nations of Europe and the US of A protesting against the 14 minute duration movie trailer, with the Saudi Arabian Ambassador to Italy, Sheikh Mohammed bin Nafoff Fizzy al Kaseltzer, being dragged from his armoured limousine by an irate mob outside the Saudi Embassy in Rome, scourged with whips and then crucified – with his hands – and head – nailed to a tree in the adjacent ‘Giardino Zoologico’ park.

In an interview with the gutter press Ragheads Gazette tabloid yesterday, Pope Benny (formerly Cardinal Joey Ratflinger), the German built-to-last Mk XVI ‘Panzer Pontiff’ model, stated it was wholly unacceptable to insult the only son of the one true God – and too his mother, Mary.

“These infidels, who have made this disgustingly wicked film in Saudi Arabia – ‘The Gullibility of Christians’ - mocking our Saviour, the Messiah, now face divine damnation and will burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity – if not longer – for referring to the Virgin Mary as some two-bit hooker – a three-hole whore in fact, who cuckolded Joseph and had a cluster fuck with a host of angels.”

“Then they portray Jesus as some gay boy faggot and a kiddie fiddling paedo’ with an implied kink for sex with lepers as well as necrophilia as this video portrays him resurrecting the deceased Lazarus by humping his ‘seed of righteousness’ up the corpse's stone cold back passage.”

“Really, how would the Mullahs and the Imams like it if we in the Christian West made a black propaganda film – or posted cartoons – and attacked their Islamic brand of religion, making a mockery of Allah or their Prophet Mohammad? What would be their reaction to such a blasphemous and sacrilegious insult, we wonder?”

Pope Benny called on the Grand Mufti Sheikh Liwat Neekni Sahrawi, the highest religious authority in Saudi Arabia, to denounce the film and have the reported perpetrator, Al Qaeda spin doctor Ras al Shitbag, arrested by their manky Mutaween religious police and punished under the draconian statutes of Sharia Law.

A host of Arab and Islamic nations’ embassies and businesses across Europe and in the US have been inundated with demonstrations and violent protests by irate Christians, and Catholics especially so, inflamed by the film insulting their religious deities – with scores of heathen Muslims left dead and injured.

In the US state of Utah, Pastor Billy Bob Redneck of the Cheesy Crust Church for Latter Day Morons, incited his congregation to riot over the internet posting of the low budget heretical movie, which he condemned as an act of ‘gratuitous profanity’ and denounced Islam as a heathen cult on a par with Satanism – with a local branch of Uncle Achmed’s Merry Muslim Ice Cream Parlour being fire-bombed following the Pastor’s rabble-rousing diatribe.

Thought for the day. Why is it always the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) and the hapless Muslims that cop it in the neck? Why does no fucker ever diss’ Buddha or the Hindu gods or the squirly Scientologists – or the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

Why? Simple – as the Great Satan’s black propaganda agents conduct a continuous war of perceptions through the news media – and in this case such is unconsciously facilitated by Muslims themselves due the fact they never fail to take the bait and react with frenzied mob violence – thereby displaying precisely what the Western powers require to justify the implementation of their insidious anti-Islamic New World Order agenda – a total lack of socio-political control that serves to vilify and demonise them as a danger to the civilised world with their terrorist attacks and calls for Jihad.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 20 September 2012

Rats, Cats n Batty Bats on de Menu

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Rats, cats and batty bats – classified by broken Britain’s killjoy Environmental Health Agency and Brussels EUSSR finicky food safety regulations as non-kosher menu items – are freely displayed for sale – freshly butchered and ready for the oven – on a legion of stalls at the Pikey’s Parade street market in London’s Slumborough Hamlets – a notorious hotbed of illicit meat activity.

Under-the-counter butchers at the Pikey’s Parade market are prepared to sell banned "woofies", a delicacy from Indo-China, prepared by hanging a dog up by its feet over the red-hot embers of a barbeque pit then ‘tenderising’ the meat by beating the hapless canine to death – from tail to head – with a length of rebar – until the intestines are dripping out of its nostrils - and to add insult to injury (sic) – finally using a blow torch on the skin to give it that succulent ‘charred flavour’.

One Thai delicacy served at the eat-in café section of the market is the kiddie’s birthday party special of ‘monkey brain surprise’ – where a live primate (gibbon / macaque / langur) has its neck compressed between two lengths of bamboo and suspended with feet off the floor, then the top carefully sliced off the skull with a modified can opener and the toddler diners, each armed with a teaspoon, tuck into an appetising warm brains delight as ‘Curious George’ kicks up a storm – to no avail – as his limited IQ slides down to zero with every spoonful dug out.
For those readers already licking their lips – or reaching for the barf bags – this particular practice is actually outlawed in the UK under RSPCA regulations.

While under-the-counter butchers at Pikey’s Parade are prepared to sell banned meats – including smuggled joints of Philippine fruit bat, Ethiopian flamingo, Jamaican giant cane rats, Ugandan donkey’s dongers, Watusi wild hog jowls – and too poached portions of Hyde Park Royal swan – the Slumborough Hamlets Council's Food Safety & Environmental Health Office has never received a single complaint since the market opened for business following the dissolution of the British Empire and colonies at the end of WW2 and the steady influx of Brit’ passport-holding immigrants.

A Freedom of Information request to Slumborough Hamlets Council reveals the last health inspection visit to the Pikey’s Parade market premises took place in 1951 under the aegis of Alderman Mohammed Wormhole Chuckabutty – and all passing muster with flying colours.

Slumborough-born Achmed Jaffacake, himself an ‘exotic meats’ trader, was persuaded to talk with the media for a consideration of thirty pieces of silver, revealing the dirty secrets of the market.
“Yeah right, but that’s one of the effin’ problems wot yer gonna encounter wiv this multi-cultural Big Society crap of Posh Dave Scameron’s cos not every fucker an’ their dog wants ter be eatin’ the traditional British five-a-day crap of meat pie, chips an’ mushy peas wiv bread an’ butter, washed down wiv a bottle of Vimto fer their dinner every effin' night.”

“These jobsworth twats at the Environmental Health Agency know sweet fuck all about the culinary palates an’ tastes of us ethnic darkie immigrant types - a lot of who come from a cannibal background an’ grew up shrinkin’ their neighbour’s heads fer a hobby. These blokes want summat piquant – hot an’ spicy – like curried crocodile on a banana leaf - or a plate full of pit-roasted camel’s bollocks – or fresh-baked samozas stuffed wiv pan-fried gerbils.”

“Obviously some of these treats are an acquired taste an’ might be a bit bizarre ter yer Anglo-Saxon stick-in-the-mud types, but these exotic delicacies are totally unavailable at the Greedy Grocer outlet chains. I mean ter say, have yer tried goin' inter yer local Pestco or Pukesburys – or even Mammon & Snobfords supermarket – an’ askin’ fer a kilo of lean cat mince, or a leg of yak, or an oven-ready cormorant, or a fillet of baby grey whale - or even a sizzlin’ squirrel on a stick?”

*Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals - otters or voles - were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Lib-Dum Clegg Joins ZioNazi Warmongers

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A recently-fired Lib-Dum Defence Minister went public last night during an interview on Channel 69’s prime time Warmongers Hour programme, confirming rumours that he was summarily sacked from his post by party leader Mick Clogg to avoid a damaging Coalition split over the craven – and wholly illegal – scheduled pre-emptive military strike on the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Former Armed Forces Secretary Sir Nick Harvey had first confided to fellow members of his local Snitch n Grassers Club during a weekend barbeque function that he got the hoof in Posh Dave Scameron’s recent ‘ethnic cleansing’ cabinet reshuffle to allow Deputy PM Mick Clogg to sign a wholly unaware Britain up to support the sneak Israeli-US ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’ military strike and cause criminal ‘hard core vandalism’ damage to Iran’s nuclear research installations, thereby releasing a massive Chernobyl / Fuckupshima style radiation leak hazard – and thus quite possibly kick starting World War Three once Russia and China get their sleeves rolled up and step into the tag team ring for Round 2 of the conflict.

Whitehall pals of Sir Nick – who was bestowed with the ‘golden handshake’ knighthood as payoff for his sacking and keeping schtum over the scandalous dirty deeds – claim he would have caused a veritable hue and cry for DPM Clogg – and Scameron - by loosing off a stream of criticism of the Coalition’s criminal backing of the Israeli unilateral attack if he had remained in the key MoD post – comparing such to Tony Bliar’s dodgy 45 minutes to Doomsday / weapons of mass distraction dossier purposely spiced up to justify the ‘order into chaos’ military invasion of Iraq back in 2003.

During the Warmongers Hour interview Harvey related that Israel was lining up the US and Britain as the main fall guys to lead the pre-emptive strike on Iran which, if successful, would ensure their continued bully boy military status and nuclear power hegemony in the Middle East region without getting their hands dirty – and obviously leave their goyim stooge supporters to count the cost – and the bodies – and clear up the ensuing mess.

Conversely, Downing Street’s spin doctors have been quick to belay any such speculations, maintaining that Harvey’s ‘lateral promotion’ to the Jobcentre queue - which now sees the MoD staffed entirely by Tory bureaucratic jobsworths and a sinister cadre of the Rothshite crime syndicate’s pro-Zionist moles - was due a ‘pre-crime assessment’ report by Mossad questioning Harvey’s commitment to the New World Order / Foreign Policy Initiative – and the planned forced regime changes of several Islamic states to install Western-friendly muppet governments who understood which side their bread was buttered – and the meaning of ‘compliance’.

So, is that it – the order of the day - conscientious objectors to be side-lined, and moral do-gooder whistle-blowers euthanised?
Hence we pose the question: does membership of the Lib-Dum Friends of Israel Club (alike the Conservative Friends of Israel Club) require politicians to comply with every homicidal demand made by the belligerent Ashkenazi Jews of convenience freaks running the nutty Knesset and IDF?
It’s about time this big stick psycho bully, PM Bobo Nuttyahoo, went back to selling furniture as politically he’s as much use as tits on a fish.

Thought for the day: Hmmm, one is inclined to ponder on Harvey’s fate for transgressing the unwritten law – grassing up the Coalition's ‘Let’s Get Iran’ plot after collecting his pension and a ‘hush-hush’ knighthood.
Will he be found ‘suicided’ up in the David Kelly Memorial Woods - wrists slashed with a blunt spud peeler and a gut half-full of co-proximol tablets – or stuffed inside one of MI5’s black North Face holdalls and dumped on the Grassy Knoll landfill site. The mind boggles at the possibilities.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 19 September 2012

NHS Bribe GPs to Nix Hospital Referrals

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In a farcical attempt to save a few quid, National Ill-Heath Service Trusts are urging family practice GPs to cut the numbers of so-called ‘inappropriate referrals’ and tempting them into compliance with cash bribes of £26,000 nicker ‘not to’ send patients to hospital – a big bucks bonus to add to the corrupt kick backs they already get from Big Pharma for pushing dodgy drugs that would make a big brown dog sick - and unnecessary medication regimes on anyone suffering from depression or anxiety issues concerning the fucked-up state of our society.

Okay, it’s not exactly rocket science as even the likes of serial hypochondriacs realise that every time doctors refer patients to a hospital for a consultation, scan or operation, the NHS Trust is charged for the cost of their treatment – and to clear up any misconstrued opinions or official black propaganda on this point, the taxpaying common or garden peasants have pre-paid for any and all medical treatment ‘up front’ via their weekly National Insurance contributions.

So, what are we looking at here – the sneaky introduction of further ‘for profit’ policy by these NHS Trusts – with the tax-paying British public being classed as simply no more than an ‘income stream’ – and an utter inconvenience if they get sick or injured - and the Hippocratic oath be fucked.

Okay, for the record, any medical professional want to stick their proverbial neck out and define ‘inappropriate referral’ for us all? What are we talking about – a snagged fingernail – or perhaps a bit of blood in the stool – or the inability to urinate due a prostate gland the size of a grapefruit – or an equal-sized tumour in one tit or the other – or both?

Under a scheme proposed by Dr Candida Mingerot, director of the prestigious Harold Shipman Primary Care Trust in Smegmadale-on-Sea, doctors are being promised £4 quid for every patient in their practice if they adhere to steps aimed at cutting referrals. To earn the full amount practices must follow a number of NHS guidelines which include reducing their referrals by a minimum of 50%.

The scheme covers all referrals, ranging from patients sent for scans to rule out the possibility of Aggravated Tennis Elbow to those wanting to see a registered nurse for a Band-Aid replacement – or some sodomite in need of a proctologist to stuff his lower colon back into place due suffering a prolapsed sphincter from a weekend gay gang bang public school reunion.

If a medical practice meets all the criteria it can generate a subsidiary income of £4 for every patient on its books – hence an average-sized practice with 6,500 patients stands to earn up to £26,000 per annum if a GP can convince patients the problem is ‘all in their pointy little heads’.
“Hmmm, nothing to worry about, keep taking the Paracetamol. Trust me, I’m a doctor.”

Conversely, Dr Freddy Patel, head of the NHS Centre for Clinical Guesswork, opined to media hacks that “Personally I consider it a super scheme as half these sickies making appointments with their GP are only after a medical certificate so they can have a few days off work – or they want a referral to have a consultant back their industrial injury claim for a whopping compo’ payout.”
“Hence if we deny them that opportunity then why shouldn’t we be entitled to earn a percentage of the projected cost savings?”

“Then of course we get these geriatric patients whingeing about referrals and taking up hospital beds when it would be more efficient to expand on the parameters of the Liverpool Care Pathway palliative scheme and simply send them home with one of those ‘bye-bye go to sleep’ do-it-yourself euthanasia pills from Dignitas.”

Has your family GP turned down a referral request to see a more qualified medical consultant who speaks English and knows what the fuck he’s talking about?
Any complaints concerning the under-performance of your local GP clinic or NHS Trust, don’t shag around – simply go straight to the top and contact the Minister of Health at huntj@parliament.uk.

Oh yes, since Austerity Dave Scameron’s radical ‘ethnic cleansing’ cabinet reshuffle we now have Rupert Mudrock’s smarmy gopher sat behind ex-Health Secretary Andrew Lansley’s desk – Jeremy ‘BSkyB’ Hunt – he of the shit-eating “I’m Untouchable” grin.

So if you want to have a whinge about NHS short-comings, send us your comments using the online form below and you could win a hardback copy of the all-new DIY ‘Open Heart Surgery for Dummies’ self-help manual.

Thought for the day. Denied a hospital referral? If symptoms persist, consult an undertaker.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

G4S Acronym = ‘Good for Shit’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Human rights activists have kick started a broad brush ‘Let’s Get G4S’ campaign against the not-fit-for-purpose security company as the firm is further bestowed with lucrative money-spinning contracts by our moronic Libservative Coalition to take control of even more of Broken Britain’s public services despite a litany of pantomime ‘incompetence’ fiascoes and human rights scandals permeating the very fabric of its ‘profit over morals’ (and efficiency) corporate structure that to all intents and purposes appears centred on amassing huge management performance bonuses via acts of genuflection and worship before the altar of Mammon.

A veritable Biblical potpourri confederacy of ‘anti’ activist groups protesting against the muddled medley of socio-political controversies with which G4S is involved - including privatisation and deportation (ordinary rendition, extraordinary rendition and too erroneous rendition) – gathered to demonstrate outside the company’s ‘Manor’ HQ at Creepy Crawley in Sussex yesterday.

The assembled campaigners included the Free Palestine Potholers Crew, the Gaza Gangsters Appreciation Society, the Tottenham Townswomen’s Guild free-fall team, a cadre of Bolshie Scouseland trade unionists, congregationalists from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – and the anti-papist Pancake Tuesday Adventists – later joined by a hodgepodge group of off-course ramblers from Henshaws Blind Institute along with a band of Swiss tourist yodellers (whose melodious contribution to the generalised heckling was very much appreciated) – plus Uncle Tom Cobley and all.

The end game aim of this now interlinked campaign is to inflict a severe dose of terminal reputation and credibility damage to the tainted G4S brand – an abomination that is involved in diverse human rights and wrongs abuses around the world where their fascist big stick / bully boy Renta-Thug security guard morons are deployed – from Siberia’s grotty gulags to the Antarctic Emperor Penguin’s Ice Palace.

An actual ‘Stop G4S Convergence’ conference is scheduled to take place upstairs at the Pitbull & Pikey Arms pub in Smegmadale-on-Sea on October 6th, 2012 with the gathering now endorsed by the Boycott ZioNazi Israel Network, No Borders UK, Comfort-4-Convicts, the Battenberg Badger Whisperers, Kikester Kunt Watch, Cormorants for Palestine Solidarity, Stop Deportations to Sweden, Shifty Shylock Twat-Alert, Lags for Free Range Prisons, No to Condoms Catholics, and South Yorkshire's ‘Give the Dog a Bone’ Club.

G4S has been rightly slammed with an international barrage of caustic criticism for its kowtow compliance with the outlaw Israeli regime - providing equipment and guard services for the rogue state’s checkpoints, illegal settlements, the Great Apartheid Wall watchtowers and sinister detention centres such as the notorious Facility 1391 where Palestinian political prisoners - including children - are incarcerated and tortured – and their internal organs harvested to supply the illegal Rabid Rabbi black market transplant donor trade.

Speaking to one press hack from the Scumbags Gazette, Ms Fellattia van der Gobble, spokeswoman for the Jimmy Mubenga Memorial Society, related that “Despite the Olympic Games staffing debacle where G4S proved themselves to be a bunch of incompetent amateurs posing as professionals – especially with the ridiculous CEO Dick ‘Bouffant’ Chuckles mismanaging this circus without a tent - they are still in the running to participate in the privatization of the UK’s Plod Squad, with authorities having to outsource services to tackle a £73 zillion quid shortfall in their funding.”

“As far as we’re concerned, how the fuck can it be cheaper to hire these G4S dog wankers to take over the UK’s police force human resource and prisoner transfer duties than keeping it all in-house?”
“Moreover we are now faced with a host of fresh allegations against these G4S bully boy guards, ranging from accusations of rape to claims of drug-taking and theft – along with the stigma of their Olympics staff spitting at British troops and referring to them as ‘baby-killers’.”

“Really, this outfit have an appalling record of putting profit before human rights and dignity. Personally, reflecting on the above, I consider G4S to be an international pariah corporation that, like the maligned Slackwater / XE mercenary outfit, is abhorrent to polite society. In fact I’ve seen better organised riots and we intend to bring their already-shaky house of cards toppling down on their pointy little heads.”

Thought for the day. So, who’s next on the social conscience target agenda? It’s a pretty long list of abusive likely candidates that act as government proxies to harass and bully the common herd – and most disgusting of all – the disaffected and marginalised ranks of society.

How about we zero the cross-hairs in on Ian Duncan-Smith and his Department of Work and Pensions and Atos Healthcare, yet another neo-fascist ‘for profit’ private firm paid to carry out fit-to-work medical assessments that are resulting in paraplegics being told to get their arses down the Jobless Centre – and the welfare benefit slashing campaign casting families out on the streets - and the lame and blind reduced to begging.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 18 September 2012

Dempsey Hit Attempt a Mossad Snafu

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Sick to the back teeth with a slew of the usual black propaganda accusations being fielded against them by the Western media over the past two weeks, Taliban leader Mohammed Haramzada today issued a statement, posted on their official Jolly Jihad website, disclaiming any and all responsibility for Britain’s rain-swept ‘summer’ (sic) or the missile attack on the Great Satan’s Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman, Martin Dempsey’s C-17 plane at Bagam Air Force Base in the early hours of the 21st August.

In a reversal of fortunes kick in the teeth, Haramzada, commander of the Taliban’s front line Shaheed Semtex al Ka-Boom Brigade, pointed the fickle finger of fate straight back at Mossad agent provocateurs tasked with sending General Dempsey one of their politically incorrect ‘snuff messages’ for snubbing Israeli PM Bobo Nuttyahoo and telling him to stuff his manipulative psychotic demands for a pre-emptive ‘October Surprise’ sneak attack on the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Here again we have the rogue Zionist state going into outlaw mode and transgressing the niceties of international law to target any fucker and their dog they perceive as ‘the enemy’ – an aberrant mental condition that manifests in the kikester mindset whenever a person or group decide that kissing Israel’s criminal arse is no longer in their best interests or those of world peace (whatever that might be).

General Dempsey called in at Tel Aviv to pick up a tuck hamper of Mama Shylock’s ‘Miracle Matzo’ while en route to Afghanistan and informed the belligerent Nuttyahoo that America and the Pentagon’s JCS wanted no part of his homicidal scheming against Iran – and later confided to one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that “I run the Pentagon and US military machine – not some trigger-happy ex-furniture salesman like this neurotic big stick bully Nuttyahoo - super-paranoid and chomping at the bit to get us involved in World War Three when we can’t even keep track of all the goddamn order-into-chaos conflicts we’ve kick-started since 9/11.”

“Jaysus H Christ, any military attack to destroy Iran’s nuclear energy program, launched by these belligerent Israeli headbangers that have built a huge covert nuclear weapons arsenal outside the scrutiny of international monitoring or control - and refuse to allow inspections of their Dimona reactor facilities in the Negev by the IAEA - or sign the Non-Nuclear proliferation Treaty – will constitute a clear act of aggression in violation of international law – which the Israelis don’t seem to give a flying fuck about anyways. All they’re after is destabilising the entire Middle-East and leaving them untouched and intact – and the Numero Uno regional military power.”

”But jest wait til the Iranian’s SS-N-22 Sunburn missiles start flying – then we'll have a real SHTF situation with Coalition of the Stooges warships sunk around the Persian Gulf and Straits of Hormuz from arseholes to breakfast-time.”

“I’ve come across some bizarre and weirdo crap around the world in my career but Israel’s the only country that’s got a 30-foot high apartheid wall built around it to keep the Muslim riff-raff out. No shit, even the die-hard Afrikaans racist Boers never went that far to segregate the whites from the Bantu darkies.”

Dempsey’s rejection of Nuttyahoo’s ultimatum that the US military play their usual role of Israel’s bully boy proxy and lead the attack on Iran - whether they have a nuclear weapons programme or not - was construed as an act of brazen hubris (the Christian version of ‘chutzpah’) that drove the clinically insane Israeli PM into another of his dummy-spitting psycho tantrums, screaming at all and sundry “Who do these ‘kus ima shelcha’ goyim scumbags in the Pentagon think they are – daring to censure our demand to attack Iran and give Israel the brush-off? Get me that Obama cuckoo on the phone!”

As the White House declined to take any more of Nuttyahoo’s collect calls and listen to his ear-bending diatribes, this resulted in Mossad being ordered to dispatch one of their nasty Kidon Unit assassination squads to sit on Dempsey’s tail and send him a clear cut warning that the good ole US of A was the Zionist state’s bitch – bought and paid for by the Rothshite / Payseur crime syndicate’s AIPAC lobby.

Thus Mossad’s Taliban impostor crew, kitted out in Ninja-black burkas, managed to infiltrate the Bagram Air Base, loose off a couple of shoulder-fired Shitstreak missiles at Dempsey’s C-17 aircraft, then did a proverbial ‘exit-stage-left’ bunk – with their ‘in and out’ presence completely undetected by the US military’s sentries - a force equipped with sophisticated fifth generation night vision, rocket detection systems, early warning blimps with ground penetrating synthetic aperture radar - and the continual coverage by UAV drones using infrared detection – all of which were mysteriously disabled during the snide attack by embedded pro-Zionist moles attached to ISAF’s 14th Treachery Brigade.

Thought for the day. From a professional point of view one has to sympathise with Mart’ Dempsey’s predicament viz Nuttyahoo’s demands when the good ole US of A is in the stranglehold paradox of being run by forces of opposing polarity – the ‘elected’ (sic) White House incumbent Obama - and the Zionist military-industrial Neo-Con shadow government – plus has so many intelligence (sic) agencies away with the nids and running their own shows and scams – and promising the likes of Israel the girl, the gold watch, and everything else – which specifically equates in plain English that the right hand hasn’t got a fucking clue what the left hand is doing. Hence little wonder CIA Director, General David H Betrayus has ulcers and trouble sleeping.

Regardless of the ‘October Surprise’ Iran attack schedule getting shit-canned, come the US Presidential elections in November, when the Diebold ballot machines are programmed to ‘Vote for Mutt the Moron’ mode, then with Romney taking over the Oval Office in the January, Israel’s swaggering bully of a leader Nuttyahoo will be guaranteed his US-led pre-emptive strike on the Islamic Republic.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

UK MPs Push UN for Palestine Recognition

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A gaggle of 60-odd House of Conmans MPs seem to have been finally touched by the hand of Divine Providence and had their stifled socio-political moral consciences stirred – if not exactly ‘shaken’ – and following a paradigm shift in attitude towards those less fortunate in this world – such as the hapless Palestinian Muslim occupants of the occupied West Bank and blockaded Gaza Strip - have urged the Tory Party’s pro-Zionist Foreign Secretary Willy Vague to stop kissing kikester PM Bobo Nuttyahoo’s fat ass and playing the part of Israel’s bitch - and instead vote in favour of UN recognition of Palestine as a non-member observer state - the ‘round-the-houses’ prerequisite initial step toward the country’s full UN voting membership.

The UK lawmakers have submitted a Parliamentary motion (which has yet to get past the veto of the Tory Party Friends of Israel Club) to express their support for the recognition of non-member observer state for Palestine, which will be submitted to the United Nations General Assembly on September 27th by the Knesset’s stooge of an acting Palestinian Authority chief, Mahmoud ‘Four Chins’ Abbas – with the intent that such long-overdue elevated status will include both the geographically-partitioned West Bank and marginalised Gaza Strip coastal enclave – with it’s victim-status Muslim population currently besieged behind the outlaw state of Israel’s 30-foot high Great Apartheid Wall in the biggest Nazi style concentration camp on the planet.

Former New Labour FS Jack ‘Jukebox’ Straw was among the cross-party signatories of the motion posing for the post-signing ‘look at us doing the right thing’ photo opportunity, all of whom swore jointly on the body of a dead heron to do their bit to make the establishment of a Palestinian state a reality and support Ox-Rat, the international human rights and wrongs group, in their Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions campaign to embargo any and all Israeli goods originating from stolen Palestinian lands – which to all intents and purposes includes the entire illegal state of Israel.

Richard Burden MP, Chair of the Britain-Palestine All Party Parliamentary Group, and the very man who tabled the motion, informed one press hack from the Neo-Nazi Gazette “I consider it a condemnation of the depth of infiltration by Zionists into every aspect and crook and cranny of international socio-political and commercial affairs that when Palestine sought recognition as a state at the UN Security Council last year, the entire assembly – including the British government – and too the kikester-controlled BBC and other media outlets - kept schtum to deny them this right – which was due pressures from the racist state of Israel and their hard-line Zionist apartheid policies pushed by their myriad lobby groups.”

Broken Britain’s largest union body, the Trades Unions Congress, representing 6.2 million common herd workers in the UK, has pledged to vote on a motion in order to express solidarity with the marginalised, hapless Palestinians struggling to survive Israel’s slow-cook genocide policy in the besieged Gaza Strip – and too the occupied West Bank, whose lands are illegally annexed on a daily basis under the pretence of military and security considerations – then squatted on by scumbag kikester settlers.

TUC spokesman Ron McSkanger informed media hacks that “Israeli state terror targets Palestinians ruthlessly and includes crimes against humanity, ethnic cleansing, land theft, institutionalized racism, oppression, intimidation, militarized occupation, and contempt for all rule of law principles and democratic values.”
“Pretty much the same as the working class used to experience here in Britain on a daily basis under feudal law, before the formation of the unions.”

Hmmm, how nice of the TUC to think of the Palestinians – but as to Parliament, only a mere 60-odd MPs out of 649 had the balls to stand up and be counted in the pursuit of justice – and nary a single titled peer from the adjoining Lords? What a pitiful showing.
However what else can be expected of the House of Conmans when we have the Conservative Friends of Israel (http://www2.cfoi.co.uk/) – the Labour Friends of Israel (http://www.lfi.org.uk/) and the Lib-Dum Friends of Israel (http://ldfi.org.uk/) – along with BICOM, the Academic Friends of Israel - and believe it or not – the Christian Friends of Israel (have they forgotten who crucified Jesus?) – all collectively suborned and corrupted by the Rothshite crime syndicate lobby into supporting a bellicose, militant ZioNazi state – and promote the international acceptance of Palestinian human rights abuses as ‘just one of those things’.

Moreover, since when did a country have to be recognised by the Zionist-dominated United Nations, we might ask? Palestine was, pre-1948, an established nation state, and whether the UN recognises it or not doesn't change the fact one iota.
The Ashkenazi Zionist kikesters might have rewritten the history of the World War Two period to suit their own nefarious propaganda purposes and blow their ‘pogrom victims’ Holohoax fiction out of all proportion but they cannot erase the existence of the fruitful and ordered Palestinian state that they brought low then seized by force of arms and copious blood-letting.

Regardless of what these posturing, albeit perhaps well-meaning MPs hope to achieve regarding the political rights and self-determination of the Palestinian population, nothing can alter the historical fact that Palestine was a sovereign nation that in 1948, during what is referred to as the Yawm an-Nakbah (Day of the Catastrophe) had its legal administration usurped and overthrown by the armed militias of the Zionist Irgun, Haganah and Stern Gang terrorist groups – and were driven out and their lands stolen on the strength of a potpourri blend of ridiculous righteousness borne out of the bullshit Balfour Declaration and this insane Chosen People / Promised Land / Manifest Destiny fairy tale.

Well really, we have to ask ourselves, is there any point to the UN’s recognition of Palestine unless their lands are returned to the mandated 1967 boundaries? Palestine has been split up like a child’s dot-to-dot drawing with the full approval of the racist Ashkenazi Jews of convenience scum running the Knesset – and the occupied West Bank further diminished on a daily basis – with Palestinian homes, farms and orchards bull-dozed by the IDF’s psycho thugs and their lands seized by illegal scumbag settlers.

Thought for the day. Fuck the Rothshite crime syndicate and their New World Order capital of Jerusalem. Plus fuck Israel and the Great Satan and the Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion – or the Project for a New American Century – or the Foreign Policy Initiative or whatever they choose to label this game plan devoted to their Brotherhood of the Snake cult and insidious god of greed: Mammon.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known pro-Zionist meshuggenah propaganda-infested area and may contain lashings of hudaibiya, kvelling, hasbara, chutzpah and the sickening Israeli ‘schadenfreude’ – along with nano-particle traces exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and a chemtrail residue of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 17 September 2012

Taliban Winning Propaganda War

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Well, super-moron President George Dubya Bush most definitely opened mouth before engaging brain when he declared, with typical unqualified arrogance back in June 2004, that the war against Big Al Qaeda and the Taliban Dan Gang in Afghanistan was ‘done and dusted’. However, applying a modicum of 20/20 hindsight it’s pretty obvious to anyone with an IQ above that of a small potted plant the Bush kid was, as per normal, talking through his Texan red neck ass.

To wit, ‘done and dusted’ is a thing this protracted conflict is most definitely not, and the US Great Satan and allied NATO troops are faced with an enemy to whom asymmetrical warfare is second nature, is possessed of an indomitable, albeit ‘unwashed’ spirit that will never be broken – and whose numbers shall constantly increase.

So, regardless of their lands being invaded and occupied to grow illegal opium crops that present an anathema to the mores of Islam – and their people bullied, abused and murdered by the armed forces of an infidel culture wholly alien to their own - if it comes down to propaganda and winning hearts and minds then the Taliban have the massed technological might of the Great Satan’s Zionist NATO / ISAF military contingent beat hands (or pants) down.

Further, it is not without good reason Afghanistan is referred to as ‘the Graveyard of Empires’ – dating back to Alexander the Great’s Greco-Bachtrian versus The Afghans full contact war games spectacular match in the 330 BC Conqueror’s Premier League Cup – which ended up with the Greeks as ‘away game’ losers – and Alex’ himself carried off during extra time in a body bag.

As to the Taliban ‘propaganda’ factor working against the NATO / IFOR forces, six of the Great Satan’s fighter jets were obliterated in an attack carried out by the mujahedeen patriots at the Camp Bastion military base in the southern Bellend Province on Friday night.

NATO Lieutenant Colonel Billy Bob Scattberg III informed one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that the six Harrier jet fighter aircraft were destroyed after a dozen Taliban attackers ignored their regular Sabbath devotions and, dressed in US army uniforms and armed with US RPG-7 rocket-propelled grenades ‘and’ M16 assault rifles, stormed the base to cause what Prudential insurance assessors are referring to as “an unprecedented amount of damage” – which apart from the six fighter jets further included the destruction of three refuelling stations and six aircraft hangars – along with the base Starbucks, the Pizza Hut outlet and the Happy Ending rub n tug massage parlour – plus a bevy of Marines getting shot and blown to all hell and back.

Scattberg rather moronically added that “The insurgents appeared to be well equipped, trained and rehearsed in expediting their raid.”
Of course, they were – all armed with US weaponry – and having spent hours watching Hollywood movies of Uncle Sam’s GIs and Marine grunts kicking ass around the globe since the abhorrent spectacle of the American-Philippine War of 1898.

So, that’s the ‘propaganda’ aspect – now for the ‘paranoia’ part.
Commonly referred to as Fifth Column infiltration and ‘green-on-blue’ snuff attacks, the paranoia-ridden ISAF military contingent don’t know which shoulder to look over next – with 50-odd foreign troopers from the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and 18th Body Bag Brigade murdered by their Afghan army or police ‘allies’ so far this year – with the latest insider attacks on foreign soldiers carried out over the weekend.

On Saturday an Afghan soldier killed two US soldiers in Bellend Province – with a further four GIs killed by Afghan police forces as attacks on foreign troopers rage on unchecked – and ISAF commanders now contemplating the highly disturbing fact that there are more Taliban mujahedeen fighters wearing Afghan army and police uniforms and getting trained – and armed - by NATO than hiding in the mountainous hinterlands and caves of Tora Bora.

Working against the NATO forces is the propaganda fact they can’t seem to take out a single Taliban fighter without incurring ‘x to the power of 10’ SHTF collateral damage – with eight women killed on Sunday by an air strike while collecting ‘carbon unfriendly’ firewood from a forest in the Noarlam Saib Valley in the eastern Laghman Province as US strike aircraft pilots mistook them for split-arsed fedayeen members of the Taliban’s ‘Achmed al Ka-Boom Burka Battalion’ Semtex suicide squad – a snafu for which NATO officials offered a big “Whoops sorry” in the way of condolence.

Hmmm, let’s be clear on one thing – there’s only a single section of Afghan society that appreciated the presence of the West’s occupying NATO / ISAF military forces and that’s the Great Satan’s slimeball-stooge President Hamid Karzai and his graft and corruption-ridden Kleptocracy Party government – as that’s the only thing maintaining the status quo and keeping them in power.
Once ISAF’s gone, then the Taliban will be back running Kabul and burning the opium crops faster than shit through a seagull with amoebic dysentery.

50-odd dead in ‘green on blue’ attacks so far this year. If the powers that be came clean and added the fatal drug overdoses and self-harm suicide statistics blighting the ISAF military effort then the numbers go off the scope of the graph.

Thought for the day. Why are government agencies only ever efficient in action spy movies – and in stark reality the biggest set of fuckwits on the planet?

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a news sheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.