Tuesday 31 July 2012

Team GB Gets Gold for Snafu Event

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

There might be a well-deserved shit storm over the legions of empty seats at the Olympic Games events – assigned to corporate sponsors and the over-privileged IOC’s Very Important Pondscum who couldn’t be arsed to turn up but there’s no fear of that situation manifesting its ugly hear at Wembley with the Olympic soccer matches – after the Met’s bungling Plod Squad lost the keys to the stadium.

In recognition for this latest fubar adding to their burgeoning litany of similar chaotic blunders, like ‘misplacing’ the keys to the Wimbledon courts front gate, games organiser Locog have been awarded a booby prize medal for their pathetic attempt to utilise the power of rhetoric over logic and convince the media that keys lost besides, this incident has in no way compromised the security of the Wembley Stadium – with a press statement that “Well, if the plods or the soccer players can’t get in then neither can any terrorist types.”

The latest fiasco threatened to further damage already fragile confidence in security arrangements for the Games when the missing lasers keys issue provoked a furious behind-the-scenes row between Plod Squad officers and G4S Renta-Thug security guards, who almost came to blows over who was at fault for their loss - with the former eventually having to use a borrowed crowbar to force the stadium’s front doors to let the soccer teams in.

To further the irony of the situation of having to replace a complete set of high tech BD/SM Dominatrix style laser locks and keys – the same type used by the Israelis in their Facility 1391 torture centre and affiliated concentration camps - that cannot be picked or cloned and cost in excess of £40,000 quid - Scotland Yard is not treating the incident as criminal but putting it down to the precepts of Hanlon’s Razor: specifically ‘never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity’.

While the jury’s still out on the content of the last paragraph, Scotland Yard admitted last night that it was to blame for the shocking breach and had deployed search teams in a desperate hunt for the keys after they were ‘mislaid’ during the final preparations for the Games.
Hmmm, thank Christ it wasn’t the spoon pin out of a primed M26-A1 frag’ grenade.

In excess of £600 million quid has been spent securing Games venues, using more than 13,000 police officers from across Britain – and as many security guards as G4S could recruit for temporary employment at minimum wages – with the Royal Navy anchored in the Thames, the RAF patrolling the skies above, and 22nd SAS troopers hiding behind every fast food chew n spew stall – and still they can’t look after a set of keys between them.

With Games tickets being touted for a King’s ransom (equivalent of the last Greek bailout by the IMF) that none of the local peasantry have a cat in hell’s chance of affording, mobs of Army troops from the 21st Cannon Fodder Regiment and 14th Body Bag Brigade have been reassigned from their security duties by Locog to fill the scores of vacant seats and make the events look fully attended – which has prompted bored G4S (Good-4-Shit) insecurity guards to hold their own Olympic ’10 metre Spitting Event’ by leaning over the balcony and gobbing on the squaddies sat below.

Thought for the day: Hmmm, did any of their moronic number check to see if the keys are on a piece of string hanging inside the Webley Stadium letterbox? That’s where my Gran’ keeps hers. Foolproof (albeit perhaps not Plod Squad or G4S Renta-Moron proof).

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 30 July 2012

Olympics Policing Madness Kicks In

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

More than 180 cyclists have been arrested following breaches of an ambiguous ‘security gone mad’ fascist state ‘No Go’ area restriction, with scuffles breaking out between the Met’s moronic Plod Squad and Critical Mass event cyclists around the outskirts of the Olympic Park on the opening night of the Games – much to the amusement of Bolshie anarchists and radical types the world over who viewed the resulting brouhaha on YouTube - all caught for posterity by the cyclists’ live feed helmet cams.

Scotland Yard’s press officer, WPC Bev Titwank, issued a statement to media hacks that they’d made numerous arrests of rabble-rousing agitators around the Olympic Park for offences under Section 12 of the Public Order Act 1986 - for ignoring Games Lanes restrictions, breaching the security cordon and attempting
to incite chaos and mayhem – and kick start a violent revolution to overthrown Broken Britain’s established monarchal order.

“While we are considering filing charges against the Critical Mass cyclists that were arrested and since bailed, it is simply untrue and typical of their anti-establishment black propaganda campaign that one group were actually ambushed and corralled for three hours in the Warthog Terraces cul-de-sac behind the Olympic Stadium, nor that several required medical treatment for first degree scalding burns after being kettled by the police.”

Section 12 of the POA 1986 bestows blinkered ‘tunnel vision’ plods operating under their ‘one size fits all’ policy with the neo-fascist power to impose restrictions on public processions – even if the persons involved are riding bikes – and since the failed prosecution of the Territorial Thug Group’s PC Harwood last week for the manslaughter of Ian Tomlinson, perhaps also the authority to beat news vendors to death with impunity.

Plod Squad officers raking in the overtime around the Olympic Park during the opening ceremony on Friday night have admitted they arrested 182 activists on bicycles who attempted to breach their designated ‘sanitised security zone’ – a one mile square area that some Met officers would prefer to see sown with the BAE Systems all-new Princess Di’ memorial model M86 ‘Foot Gone’ anti-personnel mines.

Bazzer McSkanger, director of the Occupy London and ‘Lynch-a-Crapitalist’ groups, part of the global movement that has waged demonstrations against financial institutions, Agenda 21, and other Kafkaesque New World Order globalist policies – and most recently the nauseous over-commercialisation and immoral monopolising of Olympics by the like of toxic soft drinks manufacturer Coca-Cola along with McDonalds, Biffo’s Barf Burger and Pukerella’s Pizza chew n spew fast food franchises – was interviewed by press hacks in his hospital bed at the Harold Shipman Centre for Clinical Excellence in Stepney on Saturday morning.

“This week’s Critical Mass bike-a-thon woz held ter demonstrate against these disgustin’ Corporate Games an’ Locog givin’ away two million free tickets ter the rich an’ shameless an’ our effin’ roads bein’ turned inter exclusive highways fer fat cat VIPs. While we get austerity shoved down our throats at every turn by this twat Scameron these sponsorship tossers are rewarded wiv lashin’s of privilege an’ a license ter go profiteerin’ at our expense.”

“So there woz about 500 ter 600 of us wot met up on the south side of Waterloo Bridge an' then we heads off north towards Stratford an’ the effin’ plods keep tryin’ ter divert us back across the river so we splits up inter two tactical groups an’ shoot down back alleys an’ across car parks an’ what-have-yer in a peaceful display of Ghandi style non-compliant civil disobedience.”

“My gang had just turned inter Bow Road in Stratford when the Plods starts bawlin’ over the tannoy that we’re ter halt an’ turn around – or else. So we sez “Fuck it” an’ carries on – then the next thing I hears is “Incoming!” an’ a barrage of AGM 114 Shitstreak air-to-ground ‘cyclist-seeker’ missiles get launched from on top of the Fred Woggs Tower flats at Slumborough Hamlets – an’ it’s a good job I pulled over ter roll up a smoke cos this lot blasts the shit outa the poor sods up front.”

“Next thing, before we get a chance ter pick ourselves up an’ execute Plan B – wot woz ter wave a white flag an’ surrender - a couple of Royal Navy Apache WAH-64D gunships appear overhead an’ starts strafin’ us wiv their Hughes M230 electric chain guns an’ Hydra 70 rockets – an’ that woz when a lump of effin’ shrapnel ripped the spokes outa me front wheel an’ I went flyin’ arse over tit.”

Thought for the day. Thinking of visiting the Olympic Games venues? Then be afraid – very afraid. Welcome to your first taste prelude of ‘Martial Law Britain’ and don’t even think twice about taking your own butties and a bag of cold chips – or giving one of the uniformed security psychos a sideways glance.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 29 July 2012

Austerity Dave Gets Olympomania

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Libservative Coalition leader Posh Dave Scameron was awarded the Order of the OTT booby prize after succumbing to an attack of Olympomania on Friday evening: blowing his own trumpet and sounding like an utter twat as he publicly proclaimed to any fucker and their dog interested enough to pay heed to his waffle that the London 2012 Olympics will show the world beyond all reasonable doubt that Britain ‘can deliver’– (er, apart from sorting out our double-dip depression and Debtocracy problems, making the NHS fit-for-purpose, plus finding a few million people jobs).

So while the Olympics might well present a perfect opportunity for a spot of political promotion, a moronic dunce like Scameron should think twice before drawing too much attention to the quality of the weave of Britain’s whole spun cloth, with its threadbare patches and tattered around the edges – else it attracts further critical scrutiny of all that is wrong with our once-sceptred isle due the mismanagement of a series of successive tosspot governments – recently helped along by closet case Tory Mick Clogg and his Lib-Dum Party.

To wit, the Yank’s GOP Republican candidate for the November Presidential election, Mitt ‘The Moron’ Romney, in London on a scrounging mission, pissed on Austerity Dave’s bonfire with the politically incorrect announcement that in his unqualified – and hypocritical – opinion Britain simply wasn’t fit to host a piss-up in a brewery, let alone the 2012 Olympic Games, which prompted the knee-jerk response from an irate London Mayor, Bonkers Boris Nonsense of “Bloody oick, insulting our People’s Games. I hope the Kenyan cuckoo beats him hands down in the November election.”

Conversely, Mitt the Moron’s spin doctors were on hand to execute a timely riposte in defence of their loose-lipped candidate’s insult and waved a fact sheet before the media cameras listing the fubars to date: specifically the G4S (Good-4-Shit) security screw-up – and the Egyptian team wandering round in fake Adidas and Nike sports wear gear – plus the Critical Mass pro-cycling event participants being halted en route by the Met’s Plod Squad then kettled in a cul-de-sac, with 182 of their ranks arrested on Friday night and charged with terrorism offences under Section 12 of the Public Order Act 1986.

To cap this litany of chaotic blunders was the instance of the Border Agency staff shortage that is still causing mile-long passenger queues and 24 hour waits to clear immigration arrivals at Thiefrow Airport – coupled with the insult par none of the South Korean flag being flown to herald the entrance of the North Korean team on Wednesday night.

Games organisers apologised profusely for this major snafu, which resulted in Pyongyang’s hyper-paranoid security services rounding up the athlete’s relatives as hostage material when the globally-televised faux pas was perceived as a political defection move to seek asylum motivated by the running dogs of the corrupt West and their Great Satan Zionist master.

Scameron played down the flag blunder, which occurred on the first day of sporting action, and delayed the women's football match between North Korea’s ‘Androgynous First Eleven’ and Columbia’s ‘Coke-Heads’ by about an hour while a stream of urgent diplomatic faxes were exchanged to clarify and correct the situation before the Nor-Kor Imperial Leader Kim Jong-Un ordered his military to loose a nuclear barrage on the South.

“Really, this was an honest mistake, honestly made” Scameron informed a press hack from the Fubar Gazette - “a bit like shooting that Brazilian electrician chappie at Stockwell tube station. However, Seb Coe - or Wallace and Gromit – or whoever’s in charge here - have made an apology so hopefully young Kim Jong Thing - whatever this new bloke’s called - doesn’t spit the dummy and actually nuke Seoul as payback.”

“But these and other minor problems will all get sorted out over the next couple of weeks - like the tennis event having to be postponed as some oick lost the sodding key to the main gates at Wimbledon, and the soccer events since the Met’s Plod Squad have lost the laser key to the Wembley Stadium; and London’s Olympics-designated road lanes being branded as a ‘clusterfuck’ by the boss of the RAC who spouted off to the sodding press that he’s seen better organised riots – which to my mind is not only unpatriotic but treasonous.”

“I'm sure our Culture Secretary Jeremy Kunt will take every step to ensure these things don't happen again as this is about our country coming together, and not merely a London Games, nor an England Games, but a United Kingdom Games – for us and the Welsh really I suppose, now that Alex Salmond and his bunch of ingrates up in Scotland have decided they want independence.”

However Ron McScrunt, the director of Anarchy Now, had this to say to media hacks: “Wot a heap of crap it all is – this over-hyped ‘People’s Games’ that’s out ter benefit commercial interests and not the effin’ people. Fer fuck’s sake does no sod ever study history an’ the distraction factor purpose of the Roman games – ter divert attentions elsewhere while the whole empire went tits up – same as wot’s happenin’ here?”

“An’ then, at the last minute, yer got the games organisers Locog toutin’ tickets available fer the openin’ event, where yer get ter shake paws wiv one of Queenie’s corgis an’ snort a track of dandruff off Danny Boyle’s tuxedo collar – an’ these are priced at £2,012 an’ £1,600 nicker a-piece – an’ then they’ve got the effin’ cheek ter say that all tickets bought after July 17th will have wot they term a ‘restricted view’ – which probably means yer gonna be lookin’ at the back of some Plod Squad dildo’s head.”

“So how the fuck do they justify that, I ask yer - £2,000-odd quid fer a ticket – wot might be an easy touch fer MPs on £65,000 per annum, plus expenses, but sort of out of the reach of jobless British peasants only getting’ £60-odd quid a week unemployment benefit – or penury-stricken pensioners savin’ up fer a new woolly cardigan cos that prick Osborne’s slashed their Winter Fuel Allowance down ter a bundle of old newspapers an’ half a sack nutty slack.”

A final irreverent thought for the day. To contribute further to the inherent insanity of the Olympomania fortnight, Austerity Dave Scameron was meeting with David Beckham at Downing Street yesterday to discuss how to tackle world hunger - ahead of the ‘Hunger Summit’ scheduled for the final day of the Games on Sunday 12th August.

Que? WTF – Beckham? He might well be able to ‘bend one’ around the bulimic Victoria, but knows less about the subject of Third World hunger than that other posing twat Bono or his Messianic Saviour mates Billy and Melinda Gates and their BBMG Foundation toxic vaccines team.

So, how are these two tossers going to solve world hunger? Perhaps ban Sumo wrestling and have Posh Dave put Ken Clarke, Eric Pickles and John Prescott on a restricted calorie diet – as that should give the Third World’s starving masses a chance at the buffet table to grab a bite to eat before all the pies disappear.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 28 July 2012

HMRC Sets Up Schoolkid Gestapo

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Based on the fatally-flawed founding edicts of Posh Dave Scameron’s Big Society, moronically devised to be staffed and fuelled by droves of unpaid ‘volunteers’, HM Revenue and Customs, working in conjunction with the Common Purpose social engineering group, are in the process of establishing a Junior Snitch & Grassers Division comprised of school children – the first batch of whom are being trained to spot ‘cash-in-hand’ tradesmen and other generalised scallies in their neighbourhoods suspected – like scores of zillionaire Tory Party donors - of not paying their fair share of income tax.

Hence, with our once-sceptred isle’s local handymen, who hold the fabric of Broken Britain’s insolvent society together, recently being branded as ‘immoral pariahs’ by the Libservative Coalition’s Treasury Minister David 'Halitosis' Gauke due their criminal propensity for doing odd jobs at a knock-down price in exchange for ready cash remuneration – they are to be targeted by the HMRC’s kiddie spies for their perceived sins.

For inciting this tax delinquency witch hunt, Gauke, the incumbent Tory MP for South-West Twatborough, and known to friends and associates alike as ‘The Guru from Mount Know-it-All’, was duly awarded New Labour’s Order of the OTT for stigmatising not only the offending handymen but also their clients for the ‘invoice-less’ paying of cash instead of engaging the services of established VAT registered companies at £100 quid per call-out / by the hour which nowadays seem to consist of bungling pikey wood butchers impersonating skilled carpenters - along with droves of migrant electricians and plumbers, single-handedly capable of fucking up a perfectly good anvil, who end up padding the overall costs of replacing a kitchen sink faucet seal to the equivalent of Spain’s next IMF bank bailout package.

In a vain effort to combat this tax avoidance practice, HMRC has set up teaching modules to guide children through the hazards of dodging PAYE, VAT and National Insurance contributions.
Based on the age-old British traditions of twitching curtains and over the fence fishwife gossip, the 2012 approach will be bolstered with the good old 20th Century practice of rooting through a neighbour’s garbage - perfected to a virtual ‘black art’ by celebrity snoop, Bernie ‘The Binman’ Pell.

Some of the modules – which can be downloaded from HMRC’s website – are designed to brainwash school children as young as 11 - via Common Purpose style NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques - about coughing up their fair share of tax on Cub Scouting ‘Bob-a-Job’ earnings, paper round income and the money-spinning ‘Penny for the Guy’ seasonal cornucopias.

One intimidating module lesson titled ‘Tax Responsibilities of a Good Citizen’ – targeted at 4 to 6 year olds – requires kindergarten students to discuss a ‘common good’ duty to pay a voluntary tax on their pocket money – and the severe penalties for tax evasion – including the confiscation of all their toys and having to stand in the corner after school - wearing a dunce hat.

Ron McScrote, the director of the civil rights Twat-Watch charity opined to a press hack from the Totalitarians Gazette “So, why not have a discount fer cash incentives? It’s gotta be better than anything this train crash of a fucked-up Austerity Coalition government have on offer, cos it’s a victimless crime where only the tossers at HMRC lose out.”

“Fer fuck’s sake, It's the handyman’s responsibility ter pay his taxes, not mine ter have ter police him. Yer can bet that most tradesmen spend mobs of their cash earnings down the pub an’ betting shop an’ hence back inter public circulation - whereas the moneyed elite squander theirs on whores and catamites in far-off luxury island republic tax havens that cater ter the disgusting peccadilloes of zillionaire sexual perverts and druggies.”

“But this bullshit of recruitin’ schoolkids inter a neighbourhood Gestapo force ter spy on local tradesmen doin’ a few cash in hand jobs is just the next dystopian tip-toe step on the path ter a panopticon, cashless society control grid when the Rothshite crime syndicate’s banksters get ter handle every bit of electronic lucre ter offer as tribute before the altar of Mammon.”

“So, parents take heed now schools have broken up fer the summer an’ yer about ter stick yer kids in kennels fer a couple of weeks while yer go on yer effin’ Honeymoon redux holiday ter the Costa Fortune. This is wot the government an’ HMRC have got planned ter programme the younger generation inter brain dead compliance – an’ when yer get home yer better watch yer backs cos yer kids are gonna be fully trained an’ indoctrinated Big Brother spies workin’ fer the Nanny State.”
“An’ don’t give me any of that conspiracy theory crap either cos this worked fer Hitler – and fer the Soviet states – and fer Mao an’ his Cultural revolution in China.”

Thought for the day. Anyone hear a muffled shuffling? That’s the sound of MPs and cabinet ministers squirming uncomfortably in their seats as their stifled consciences stir in the memory of years of doling out expenses-claimed taxpayers cash to a legion of pikey jack of all trades for building their duck islands and dredging their country pile moats.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 27 July 2012

27/7: Countdown to Olympomania Armageddon

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The belligerent goyim-hater, Israeli leader Bobo Nuttyahoo - (an Ashkenazi Jew of convenience possessed with an irresistible impulse for mischief, yet whose appointment with a grim Destiny seems to be perpetually postponed) - along with a cabal of war-mongering pro-Zionist neo-con politicos in the U.S. and Europe - are pushing hard for an attack on Iran, seizing on every slanderous fishwife gossip pretext that “Ahmadashell and the crazy Mullahs did it”.

These wild, ‘paranoia-by-design’ accusations now include the terrorist bombing of a bus-load of supposed Israeli tourists in Bulgaria last week – which Nuttyahoo’s instant indictment of Tehran and all things Muslim simply serves to prove Tel Aviv and their Great Satan / EUSSR stooges are out to up the ante for NATO strikes on Syria, Lebanon (Hezbollah) and the Islamic Republic of Iran itself in their efforts to kick start World War Three and initiate their prophesised ‘End of Times’ Apocalypse.

Thanks to the efforts of Israel’s Chicken Little Black Propaganda Institute for Advanced Scaremongering and the Zionist-controlled media’s inflammatory headlines filled with distortion, misinterpretation, and wilful lying, the air is rife with heightened rumours of an Iranian / Hezbollah terrorist squad on the loose around Europe and planning a sneak attack on the London Olympic Games.

This is alleged to be a redux of the PFLP’s Ikrit-Biram fedayeen assault at Munich in 1972 which severely screwed up the Israeli’s chances of winning a gold medal after the moronic Kraut Plods Squad snipers shot half the hostages and another tossed a fragmentation grenade into one of the Bell UH-1 choppers and killed every fucker old enough to bleed.

To counter this scuttlebutt plot Mossad is reported to have dispatched a team of assassins, (read ‘agent provocateurs’) codenamed Psycho Force, to Europe in search of a group of terror suspects led by Al Qaeda’s Mohammed al Patsy and Shaheed al Ka-Boom - believed to be working with Iran's Semtex Saracens and Hezbollah’s Jolly Jihad Brigade.

Meanwhile the bungling Bulgarian police, not wishing to be unduly inconvenienced nor rushed in their regular ‘chillaxed’ daily affairs, are still struggling to identify the Caucasian suicide bomber who killed five Israelis, the vulgar Bulgar bus driver – along with himself - in an attack Tel Aviv and the Great Satan’s CIA claim bears the classic hallmarks of Iran’s terrorist client, Hezbollah – and too the false flag thumbprint of Mossad’s ‘Kidon’ assassination gang – the amateur bunch of homicidal maniacs caught repeatedly on CCTV in Dubai in the act of murdering the Palestinian Hamas fund-raiser Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in his Al Bustan Rotana hotel room.

However, as to the Bulgarian incident, within an hour of the bus bomb going ‘Bang!’ and before the emergency services arrived on the scene or the dust settled, the Knesset’s doomsayers in Jerusalem were blaming the Iranian Revolutionary Guard and Tehran's Lebanon-based terrorist proxy Hezbollah – accusations the Islamic Republic rejected as being more full of shit than a Christmas goose.

To wit, the survival of the official lie depends solely on its constant repetition – and hopefully someone swallowing it hook, line and sinker.

So, what the fuck is going to go down during the Olympics? What’s the plot for an attack on London? The Tory Defence Secretary, Philip ‘Dandruff’ Hammond – a master of self-magnification who is merely another frog that dreams of being a toad - fears it may well be a 9/11 style aircraft into the side of the ridiculous Qatari-owned Shard pyramid – with lashings of Larry ‘Shylock’ Silverslime style insurance cover freshly bumped up against terrorist destruction - and Israeli hi-fiver micro-nukes positioned up the core and turn the fucking lot to micro-dust with their directed energy weapon just like WTC Towers 1 and 2 – and every car in a five block radius a toasted wreck.

Flatbrokes, the UK’s ubiquitous High Street bookies, following a review of this week’s Warmongers Gazette editorials, have since dropped their odds down from a favourable 5 to 1 to an ‘odds-on’ dead certainty of the Zionist NATO aggressors launching pre-emptive strikes against Syria, Hezbollah and Iran during the Olympics fortnight – even without the manifestation of the predicted false flag attack on the London Games events.

Hence with five very foreign and pugnacious full complement naval battle fleets in the Persian Gulf, (nuke carriers and subs) all loaded for bear, the whole shebang looks like an major accident just waiting to happen – and all we need to ignite this bonfire of logic and common sense and escalate it into an apocalyptic clusterfuck is one tiny provocative occurrence – which will happen by accident - or conspiratorial false flag design.
Then the proverbial shit will really hit the fan and we’ll have another conflict turning into an unmitigated disaster, to run out of steam far short of its original political objectives – albeit providing a boost for the body bag, grave digging and prosthetics industries.

Thought for the day: So, after waiting and scheming since July 2005 – a full seven years - for this pristine London Games opportunity, the Rothshite crime syndicate’s pressing their New World Order agenda (read ‘Protocols of the Greedy Bastards Elders of Zion) and the hyped Islamic terrorist attacks on the Olympics and Iran’s nuclear weapons of mass distraction programme are all scaremongering propaganda to provoke an excuse to launch a fresh Mid-East conflict.

Just the same as Afghanistan and Iraq, it’s all about installing Western friendly / compliant puppet regimes, seizing control of the natural resources and establishing strategic military bases – in a bid to marginalise, if not completely isolate, the Russian and Chinese giants.

Alas, the study of history is not a bilateral arrangement between nations – nor are common sense and logic constants in their behaviour – for endowed with the facilities of logic and reason, they much prefer the path of folly – hence man’s curious refusal to behave rationally in what seems his own best interest.

To wit, while this ‘leap year’ commercially-driven athletics pageant is underway ‘do not’ listen to any further waffle and bluster put out by the smarmy Secretary of State for Culture, Media & Sport, Jeremy 'Broken Bell' Kunt – nor take your eye off the ball for a single second, as our shifty government is likely to use the distraction to pull some sort of ‘fast one’ – yet again with impunity – as they’ll have the British taxpayer-funded BBC’s (Biased Bullshit Corporation) Disinformation Department on hand to stage manage all aspects of public perception with another Busby Berkeley ‘truth n lie’ legerdemain extravaganza – as per the grossly biased – nay ‘disingenuous’ - coverage of 9/11 and 7/7 – and a host of other instances too numerous to list.

Stop press: US Presidential hopeful, the GOP’s Republican candidate Mitt ‘The Moron’ Romney, in London on a whistle-stop foreign fund raising drive, send Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense into dummy-spitting mode yesterday by publicly stating the UK wasn’t up to hosting the 2012 Olympics.

(Barclays Banksters, who had enough left over in the slush fund after doling out their recent £290 zillion nicker Libor fine, to donate over $1 million-plus to Romney’s presidential campaign, organised an exclusive fundraising dinner on Thursday night for the Mormon Moron at a secret Mayfair location (the City Square Mile’s Masonic Pederasts Hall) - where tickets cost £25,000 quid a plate.

As for Romney’s opinions, this Zionist stooge should heed the adage that it’s better to be thought an utter fool than open one’s mouth and confirm the fact.
Not only did he greet New Labour’s Ed Millipede as ‘Mr Leader’, but asked Posh Dave Scameron which end of the Libservative Coalition’s pantomime donkey he was: the head or the arse? - then held a private meeting with international war criminal Tony Bliar – to discuss the Israeli-Palestinian fairy tale Mid-East peace policy.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 26 July 2012

The Shades of South-East Asia

http://shadesofsouth-eastasia.blogspot.co.uk/

Posted today: The Shades of South-East Asia short story manuscript -
just follow the url.

The Shades of South-East Asia / The Fairy House / A Classical Reckoning / The Well / The Alvarez Carpet / Home to Mother / An Error of Judgement / Tourists / Lady Prescott's Ear-Ring / Looking after the Wife / The Chosen / Kesalahan Itu (The Mistake / Priorities / Diaspora / Herredero / 050 (Oh-Five-Oh / Lydia / Interpretations

UK Airport Security Downgraded to ‘SHIT’

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In the run-up to the Olympic Games opening extravaganza on Friday 27th July – with a joint agency force of some 50,000 military, Met plods, MI5 goons and private security and other assorted thugs and morons now fielded to guard the ultra-hyped commercial fiasco amid heightened rumours of an Iranian / Hezbollah terrorist squad on the loose around Europe and planning a sneak attack being spread thick and fast by Israel’s Chicken Little Black Propaganda Institute for Advanced Scaremongering and their Zionist-controlled gutter press – Broken Britain’s airport security rating has ironically been downgraded from ‘Could Try Harder’ to ‘Utter Shite’.

This drastic and embarrassing reclassification is due an 11-year old scrote passing through five levels of security at Manchester International Airport ‘s Terminal One yesterday: specifically check-in queue ticket inspection, actual check-in, departure lounge entry check, the tetra-wave ‘insta-tumour’ full body scanner check – then negotiating the Borders Agency immigration barrier unhindered – through the boarding gate and welcomed onto Snafu-Air’s flight to Rome by some tosspot of a stewardess: all without any cash, baggage, or a ticket, or a boarding pass, or a passport – then to cap a stellar record of gross incompetence, was also missed during a pre-flight passenger head-count on the plane.

The flight crew only became aware of his actual ‘stowaway’ presence once suspicious passengers alerted cabin staff to a potential problem when the boy laid out his chemistry set on the seatback drop-down table and started mixing a noxious smoke-belching blend of shampoo, black pepper, brake fluid and bleach, while giggling to himself and chanting and chanting “Insha’Allah, you heathen motherfuckers”.

Italian security forces were alerted to the security breach and when the flight touched down at Rome’s Fuckupcimo Airport the boy was bundled into a government issue North Face black holdall and put on a scheduled CIA extraordinary rendition flight straight back to Manchester where his Mum, Plod Squad officers and a team of interrogators from MI6’s Waterboarding Unit were waiting to ask him a few questions about his little trip.

The UK’s Transport Secretary Justine ‘Piranha Teeth’ Greenthing, the Tory blonde-moment MP for Slutney, informed one press hack from the Fubar Gazette “Oh my God, not another major security balls-up just before the sodding Olympics. Why does this shit have to happen on my shift? I just hope it’s that bunch of useless dog wankers from G4S who are responsible again – then we can really put the boot in and distract the stupid public from focusing on all the other government screw-ups.”

As to the villain of the peace, a certain 11-year old Ronnie McSkanger was turned over to his mother Chantelle at their Stench Hill ‘sink or swim’ council housing estate home after arriving back at MIA, who informed the media “Our Ronnie’s become a right little twat since he converted ter Islam last year after watchin’ a documentary on the telly about Muslim suicide bombers goin’ ter Paradise an’ havin’ seventy-odd perpetual virgins ter service their every three-hole kinky sexual desire an’ fetish.”

“He goes down ter the madrassa at the local mosque an’ gets all these daft ideas about wantin’ ter be one of them Semtex Saracens an’ like his hero, that Taliban bloke, Shaheed al Ka-Boom wot the Yanks an’ NATO’s always tryin’ ter get wiv their Predator drone missiles.”

“Anyway, he nicks a copy of the Koran from the library an’ uses me new Argos sheepskin rug as a prayer mat, then joins the Junior Jihad Club in Rusholme an’ spent all last Guy Fawkes Night stickin’ penny bangers down his shirt front an’ gettin’ a feel of what it’s like ter blow yerself up. But that’s kids for yer at that age – very impressionable.”

As to Ronnie himself (aka Abu Himar) he told reporters “How the fuck I ended up in Rome I’m bolloxed if I know cos I wanted ter get on a flight ter Bulgaria an’ blow up a bus an’ kill a load of Mossad’s Operation Bayonet agents wot our Mullah sez is sneakin’ inter Europe through the EU’s back door on false flag terror missions.”

Stop press: In an attempt to regain a modicum of their recently-devastated credibility, the G4S (Good-4-Shit) Renta-Thug Security Agency have issued a pre-emptive media release disclaimer that they had nothing to do with the ‘train wreck’ security manning disaster at Manchester Airport.

Thought for the day. So who’s to blame – the airline, the security contractors, the tossers manning the Border Agency desks, Ronnie’s Mum, our once-Christian moralist society – or a combination of the lot?
The again perhaps the philosophy of Hanlon’s Razor might apply: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence”.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 25 July 2012

Cleggy Reinvents Victorian ‘Knockers-Up’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Due being lambasted by certain unpatriotic Bolshie elements of the gutter press as ‘the daftest idea the Government has come up with since their last daft idea’, the Libservative Coalition’s spin doctors have gone into a rabid ‘attack dog’ mode, with Downing Street’s ‘Soundbite Scabby’ Bertin leading the defence of Lib-Dum Deputy PM Mick Clogg’s ‘mentoring scheme’ – a £126 million quid Youth Contract which aims to cut the number of Broken Britain’s ‘NEETs’ - 16 to 24-year-old yobsters and assorted scallies ‘Not in Education, Employment or Training’ – from the current 1,163,000 by an ‘ambitious’ 55,000.

Soundbite Scabby informed amused reporters “Cloggy’s put a lot of effort into cobbling this youth motivation initiative together and the least the sodding media can do is offer their support and not go into oppositional defiance mode and brand it as yet another of his ‘doomed to fail’ projects – then go round referring to our Coalition as a ‘confederacy of tosspots and losers’.”

In this pilot scheme the government has contracted the Common Purpose-affiliated WWRS Inc (Wakey, Wakey, Rise & Shine) motivational organisation to mentor young people to develop a routine – specifically by kicking them out of bed of a morning in an effort to get them to go to school or report to the Jobless Centre and do combat with a bunch of money-grubbing pikey migrants from Eastern Europe, fighting over non-existent work opportunities.

The WWRS Inc’s marketing director Bev Titwank informed media hacks that, in her unqualified and misguided opinion, youngsters who were a part of dysfunctional families and had dropped out of school, really appreciated that there was someone who cared for them – with their ex-military ‘mentors’ being encouraged to build up a personal relationship – even if it did involve a bully-boy / victim relationship – with the latter copping for the odd good thumping due non-compliance.

After two years of broken campaign trail pledges, outright lies and having ‘Austerity’ forced down our throats like some noxious emetic – until even the mention of ‘budget cuts’ makes us throw up - PM Posh Dave Scameron and DPM Mick ‘Turncoat’ Clogg (now a closet case Tory) have earned the unanimous and deserved public opinion of jointly representing the stark image of a failed society – and this latest creative scheme to get unqualified ‘Yobs into Jobs’ simply isn’t going to cut it.

Bazzer McScrote, the director of the Twat-Watch charity, opined to media hacks that “This mentorin’ plan of Cloggy’s is doomed ter failure before it kicks off as it’s impossible ter motivate these slack yobs an’ yobettes ter get off their idle arses wivout the aid of a cattle prod or taser – let alone getting’ out of bed in a mornin’ before the pubs open - an’ clockin’ in at some poxy factory ter do eight hours straight graft.”

“So the actual strategy of this campaign is ter field thousands of Big Brother nanny types ter come round in a mornin’ an’ kick these kids outa bed, take ‘em down the Jobless Centre, then drive ‘em ter job interviews - an’ if they get employed ter turn up every day at the crack of dawn an’ wake the twats up, make sure they’re scrubbed and decent an’ drive ‘em off ter their place of work an’ watch them clock in.”

“Fuck me drunk, Cloggy’s the one responsible fer the increase in NEETS cos he scrapped the Education Maintenance Allowance, so yer got more chance of shovin’ butter up a meerkat’s arse wiv a red hot knittin’ needle than makin’ this project work. Wot’s more I don’t care if they are plannin’ on usin’ ex-battlefront squaddies ter deliver motivational sessions ter disaffected and marginalised youngsters through this ill-conceived ‘Killers ter Inspire’ campaign. Whatever else it might be, the dog’s bollocks it most definitely is not.”

“The problem here lies wiv the fact that Mick Clogg’s just like Posh Dave Scameron an’ the numbskull wot was in Downin’ Street before – not the Scots clot Broon, but Triple-Six Tony Bliar. They’re all the type of people wot thinks wood grows on trees an’ suffer from narcissistic personality disorders an’ a deranged sense of self-righteousness.”
“The Coalition’s ‘one size fits all’ rhetoric simply creates a left-right paradigm anomaly – an’ the perpetuation of their flawed logic policies results in denial and sophistry – an’ this adopted culture of lyin’ is no foundation fer a solid industrial base.”

Cloggy’s scheme came in for lashings of sour grapes criticism from New Labour MPs - as they’d never thought of it first - with the killjoy shadow work and pensions secretary Fellattia Gamerouche claiming it was all too little and much too late to patch up the damage done by the Tory leader Maggie Twatcher’s 1980’s ‘Fuck the Unions’ doctrine and ensuing menopausal madness de-industrialisation campaign to replace the ‘Great’ prefix to Britain with the word ‘Broken’

Thought for the day: Any persons now unemployed and signing on at the Joblesscentre that are still optimistic about finding work will be henceforth labelled as ‘delusional’ – and are liable to be sectioned.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 24 July 2012

Bahraini Royal Scumbag to Star in ‘Shameless’

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

A report released by the human rights and wrongs activist charity Scum-Watch has warned it would prove a public relations disaster for the Libservative Coalition government - and too LOCOG - if Sheikh Ras al Shitbag al-Khalifa, the head honcho of Bahrain's Olympic Committee, attended the Games events in London due his appalling record of crimes against humanity.

To wit, the gospel according to an editorial in yesterday’s Bad Bastards Gazette states the despotic al-Khalifa regime is sending Sheikh Ras al Shitbag (a career sadist and School of the Americas-trained torturer) as their official Olympics emissary - contrary to the disingenuous assertion by the pro-Zionist stooge of a Foreign Secretary Willy Vague, that any Third World shithole regime engaged in the practice of torture and other human rights abuses (with the exception of Israel) would be denied a visa to attend the Olympics.

While voicing concerns over the UK’s complicity in the supply of arms, riot gear, cattle prods, waterboards and thumbscrews to the fascist al-Khalifa regime to enable their continued brutal crackdown on pro-democracy and reformist demonstrators – including women and children – and too doctors and nurses providing medical treatment to the protest-demo’ injured - the Scum-Watch report further warns that the lives of several prominent socio-political detainees, who had the audacious cheek to dare testify that Ras al Shitbag was the ‘Kess Emakk’ paedo’ creep personally responsible for torturing them and buggering their children, are now at mortal risk for their foolhardy, outspoken bravado.

Sheikh Ras al Shitbag, one of King Fat Git bin Isa al-Khalifa’s six sadistic sons, had publicly called for "A wall of stones to fall on their heads” – an old Arabic curse cast upon all those who dared demonstrate against the brutal regime and the graft and corruption-ridden kleptocracy of a civil service – and achieved this objective by driving a Rachel Corrie memorial model Caterpillar D8 bulldozer into the Jaysh al-Usra Medical Clinic and over the prostrated bodies of the pro-democracy and reformist protesters injured by baton rounds, pickaxe shaft blows and CS gas – plus any nurses who got in the way.

To add to the potency of the Scum-Watch protests, the European Centre for Constitutional and Human Rights and Wrongs (ECCHRW) called on the British government to block Sheikh Ras al Shitbag from attending the 2012 London Olympic Games, due to his involvement in a litany of serious human rights abuse violations.

The ECCHRW, a Berlin-based group, claim Sheikh al Shitbag is a nasty git who should be held criminally liable based on international human rights law standards, and urged the British government to ensure that the case is not subjected to politically-driven double standards – as per that of the Israeli ex-Foreign Minister, Tipzi Livid, still wanted on charges for war crimes committed against the marginalised Palestinian civilian population of the besieged Gaza Strip enclave during the 22-day Operation Kill Every Fucker military slaughter campaign staged by the IDF’s 21st Psycho Thugs Regiment during the Christmas festive season holiday of 2008 / 2009.

In Livid’s case, the Rothshite crime syndicate’s sycophantic Friends of Israel Club stooge, Tory FS Willy Vague – along with other equally-culpable pro-Zionist gophers, petitioned changes of the International Arrest Warrant laws so Tel Aviv’s war criminals could visit Broken Britain any time they liked – with impunity from arrest and prosecution for their sins – a bit like the Nazis in Argentina and Brazil – and the US under Operation Paperclip - at the end of WW2.

The Scum-Watch report carried a quote from New Labour MP, Ron McScrote, stating for the public record “Why the fuck are we still exporting arms to Bahrain, where the totalitarian despots running the place are throwing every fucker and their dog in jail and the death toll’s mounting as fast as that of the FSA mercenary psychos killing Syrian civilians? Really, have Posh Dave Scameron and his shameless joke of a Tory-dominated coalition no moral qualms about this duplicitous fiasco?”

In response, the Conservative Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State, Dinsdale Spatchcock, had retorted “We have one of the most stringent arms export control arrangements in the world, and are scrupulously diligent in these matters.”
“My New Labour colleague would do well to remember that Bahrain has been an extremely important friend and ally to both the United Kingdom and the Great Satan – apart from paying us lots and lots of money for all the arms and third degree interrogation equipment we sell them but also allowing the British naval fleet access to their island’s Manama port facilities, so we’re all ready to expedite our top secret pre-emptive military attack on Iran. Oh shit –Whoops!”

Thought for the day. What pity the Olympic Games, a celebration of human physical endeavour, has now become so politically polarised – with the Israeli Knesset’s homicidal maniacs screaming “Foul!” as the IOC has refused to hold a memorial service for the Israeli athletes killed during the Black September attack at the 1972 Munich Olympics – and Greece following suit as the progenitors of the Games concept with a super-whinge that the IOC has also refused their memorial request to remember the glorious 300 Spartan warriors fallen at Thermopylae.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 23 July 2012

Terrorist Sting Op’s ‘Silly Season’ Kicks In

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Yep, the mad March hares might have been and gone – but now it’s time for the false flag terrorist attack sting outbreak season to kick in – so, fingers in the ears, get ready to duck and don’t go out to play unless wearing body armour – especially if you’re off to see the new Batman movie showing at your local MK-Ultra Mind Control cinema.

So, what the fuck is going down? Another international ‘Let’s Get the Muslims’ campaign to further demonise Islam – not that they need much help – or a staged ‘gun violence’ false flag scam to blame on the Second Amendment - just in time to influence the United Nations small arms treaty vote?

In what appears to all intents and purposes to be another deliberate FBI stooge ‘entrapment’ sting set up, a US supporter of the fictitious al-Qaeda terrorist group has pleaded guilty of trying to blow up models of the Pentagon and US Capitol Building with remote-controlled model planes – loaded with model bombs.

US citizen Mohammed al Patsy, 26, was arrested following a sting operation in which FBI scumbags posed as al-Qaeda members and supplied their hapless stooge victim with explosives, model planes and the entire plan to bomb several Washington government buildings.

Mr al Patsy pleaded guilty to every charge the US Justice Department prosecutor filed against him, which included attempting to buy explosives from FBI agents and agreeing to their suggestions to blast the living shit out of America’s vastly diminished democratic freedoms – informing the court he would gladly accept the 17 years imprisonment term in one of Uncle Sam’s sodomite’s paradise prisons rather than go to trial and cop for 35 years – thanking Circuit Judge Shylock Scattstein for granting him his personal Andy Warhol-predicted ‘Fifteen Minutes of Fame’.

Under the plea bargain deal, prosecutors agreed to drop four of the original six charges – which included being of Bangladeshi descent, having a body temperature IQ, owning several physics books, and subscribing to Sky TV’s Jolly Jihad channel.

Meanwhile over in Broken Britain the headless chicken terrorist hysteria season has also kicked in, with Shaheed al Ka-Boom and his harpy of a wife, Sharmuta Neekni Sahrawi, sentenced to stiff prison sentences this past week at Manchester Crown Court for being members of the al Qaeda Stooge Squad and strutting down to the local Oldham mosque wearing ‘Semtex Saracen’ t-shirts.

A cache of terror-related material was found at the couple's Muhijadeen Terraces home last year, which included a beheading video (Texas Chain Saw Massacre), two copies of the Koran (Arabic script), and a DVD copy of ‘Schindler’s List’.

Passing sentence, Mr Justice Sheldon Scumberg informed Shaheed al Ka-Boom, an unemployed wheelbarrow mechanic, that his previous 2007 conviction for pissing through a Cheetham Hill synagogue letter box indicated that he posed a significant risk to the public.
Further, the peroxide and bleach, used by his hairdresser wife in her work, along with the black pepper found in a kitchen cupboard, could have been blended with the gallon of petrol in their lawn mower fuel tank - discovered in the garden shed - to make a nasty explosive device.

His hapless wife Sharmuta, who denied terrorism charges, was found guilty of engaging in preparation for terrorism and three counts of possessing information useful to a terrorist cell due the house being awash with extremist Islamic propaganda materials - specifically an Arabic / English dictionary; an A to Z of Greater Manchester, a copy of the Radio Times – and most damning of all, a set of Christmas tree lights.

Conversely, for the defence, Ms Candida Mingerot QC, of Upshot, Bagrot & Shitpot (Solicitors) informed the court that her clients didn’t have the low-tech’ brains to operate the TV’s remote control without consulting the actual operator’s manual, hence hardly presented a clear and present danger threat to Western civilisation.

At the other end of the Chicken Little ‘fear & alarm’ black propaganda spectrum, in Bulgaria last week we have a hapless Caucasian ‘shoestring’ tourist stooge with barely two brain cells to rub together (after being fed lots of freebie snort by female Mossad agent provocateurs) then turned into an unwitting suicide bomber / mule patsy - given a sealed drug package to deliver and paid up front – with explicit instructions to get on such n such a bus at Burgas Airport– then one cellphone call later – Ka-fucking-Boom!

Even before the dust settled and emergency services turned up, the Burgas Plod Squad announced that the bang was caused by three kilos of ‘powdered’ TNT (powdered? que? WTF?) being detonated in the suspect’s backpack in the baggage compartment.

This bullshit announcement coincided with Bobo Nuttyahoo, the war-mongering Israeli PM, calling a press conference of the Zionist state’s global media assets, and in a bid to polarise public opinion, denounced the craven attack as bearing the thumbprint of Iranian terrorists.

This declaration, like 9/11, provides the best proof that it was yet another of Mossad’s Kidon false flag terrorist strikes – this time against their own people - to justify further sabre-rattling and designed to serve as a pretext for retaliatory military action against the Islamic Republic of Iran by the belligerent rogue Zionist state.

A classical 9/11 style pasty set-up – like the flying lessons - advertise the dumb moronic perp’ / stooge and form the ‘legend’ – walking around the airport – picked up on CCTV. A dark-skinned Arab-looking white Caucasian with long hair - nope a shaved head – nope, wrong again – wearing a wig – who might have had his hair cut the day before - who tried to hire a car with a forged Michigan driving license which identified the suspected bomber as Lee Harvey bin Patsy, of Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

Thought for the day. Flatbrokes, the UK’s ubiquitous High Street bookies, have now dropped the odds down to a '1 to 1' dead cert' bet on the likelihood of a CIA / Mossad / MI5 / MI6 Psycho-Ops false flag Islamic crazies terrorist attack targeting the 2012 Olympic Games in London over the coming fortnight – with Iran and Hezbollah as the prime suspects.

Addendum: Very weird, the Aurora, Colorado cinema shooting was purportedly expedited by a lone bonkers gunman named ‘James Holmes’ – a first for US homicidal maniacs and assassins who are renowned for always having a middle name: from John Wilkes Booth to Lee Harvey Patsy to Sirhan Bishara Sirhan to John Warnock Hinckley, Jnr. to Mark David Chapman.

Odd, Holmes surrenders without a struggle after his fish in a barrel shooting spree, then informs the cops “Hey, be careful at my apartment, it’s booby trapped to all hell and back with explosives and incendiary devices” – and now refuses to speak or co-operate.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Pentagon Medals for Armchair Assassins

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In what is probably the most fucked up idea they’ve had since their last fucked up idea, the putrid Pentagon’s Joint Chiefs of Staff, in a moronic effort to classify drone warfare as a courageous and noble endeavour in the field of human conflict, want awards for bravery bestowing on the armchair psychos who murder Muslim peasants by remote control targeting with clusterfuck bombs and Shitehawk missiles in far-off Third World shitholes such as Afghanistan, Pakiland, Yemen and Somalia.

Speaking to a press hack from the Warmongers Gazette earlier this week, Colonel Billy Bob Redneck, in what came across as the devious musings of a calculating psychopath, announced that Pentagon bosses are considering awarding a Distinguished Murder Medal to drone pilots who work on ground-control station military bases inside the good ole US of A – and far removed from the actual blood and gore-splattered battlefields.

Redneck, who flew a Marine Corp A-10 Warthog on combat missions during the illegal invasion of Iraq before switching to being a UAV MQ-1 Predator drone pilot in 2004 after mistakenly bombing a Baghdad hospital, an orphanage and a kindergarten in the same week, claims that “The remote operation of the missile-loaded flying drones takes real guts – especially when your supervisor is looking over your shoulder at the display screen – all in ‘Gorgon Stare’ real time digital colour action - and says “That looks like one of al Qaeda’s Semtex Saracen scumbags at the front of the funeral procession – take the fuckin’ lot out just to make sure.”

“Hey, we’re not just playing video games here. Nowadays I let the new MQ-9 Reaper’s do a big circle at 30,000 feet while the dust clears, then all the other terrorist types come rushing out of their hovels to see what the hell went Ka-fucking-Boom – and while these stupid arseholes are picking up the wounded and playing dot-to-dot jigsaw games with all the dismembered arms and legs, then I let fly with a couple more missiles and take them out as well – double jeopardy bug splat.”

So, while the Great Satan’s homicidal maniacs, now desensitised to the slaughter of their fellow human beings and totally devoid of a moral conscience, sit back and psycho out with their X-Box 360 remote control consoles, we are left to ponder on the Pentagon’s one-size-fits-all modern warfare approach to every fucking thing – and how, via the vehicle of Arab Springs and humanitarian intervention black propaganda campaigns, they’ve lowered the threshold for what justifies war – in the interests of ZioNazi corporate neo-colonialism.

Hence we consider the armchair assassins who, with ten thousand miles between them, fail to differentiate between friend or foe / armed insurgent (read patriot / freedom fighter) or civilian, man women or child – are the Grim Reaper’s insidious little helpers - agents of death become – and the type of scum who would turn on the Zyklon B gas in FEMA’s concentration camp showers and stoke the crematorium ovens without batting an eye.

Thought for the day. PlayStation warfare only provides risk-free enjoyment for the dehumanised homicidal maniacs sat holding the joystick and pressing the remote-control ‘exterminate’ buttons – while those targeted never get to see the fun side of the game.

Alas, for purposes of belligerence we command a technology of far greater evolution than our moral and intellectual abilities to rationally commit such to destructive use.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and/or squirrel shit.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 22 July 2012

UN Sanctions on Syria Blocked

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

As the pro-Zionist Barky O’Barmy administration of the Great Satan go into hyper-propaganda mode, claiming Syrian President ‘Basher’ al Assad in now ensconced in his underground Fuhrer bunker as Damascus burns – alike Hitler before him in Berlin, circa 1945 - and the overthrow of the entire Ba’athist government by rampaging foreign-funded mercenaries posing as the Free Syrian Army only a couple of grenade throws away – Russia and China have once again pissed on the belligerent Western powers’ bonfire, refusing to back a contrived UN move by Secretary-General Ban Ki-Loon to impose Chapter Seven sanctions on the beleaguered regime.

While prompting an angry, dummy-spitting Western response, Russia and China vetoed the UN Security Council resolution, stating the case that any further sanctions would simply deny the Syrian people their God-given right (much vaunted by the meddling ZioNazi powers) of pursuing a truly democratic self-determination solution to their socio-political problems – by having a good all-round civil war and sorting their own shit out.

This is the third time Russia and China have jointly exercised their vetoes over the contrived ‘Syrian situation’ – with the UK’s pro-Zionist stooge of a Foreign Secretary Willy Vague condemning their latest action as inexcusable and indefensible - in an attempt to earn some brownie points from his Rothshite crime syndicate masters.

Under the US-Israeli proposed plot, Assad’s Damascus government was to be threatened with further non-military sanctions under Chapter Seven of the UN Charter if it failed to surrender to the rag-arsed Western-funded rebel mercenaries and face a veritable cocktail of concocted war crimes charges.

Conversely, it was the very mention of Chapter Seven that stirred Russian President Vlad Putrid’s ire and hence Moscow’s objections as it would serve to create the desired avenue to expedite UN-sanctioned external military involvement in Syrian domestic affairs.

In delivering their veto to the Security Council assembly, both China’s and Russia’s UN Ambassadors – Mr Fuk Yew Tu and Mr Vitaly Jerkoff - were obviously reflecting on the Machiavellian manoeuvring that led to the passing of the UN’s sneaky Chapter Seven sanctions that implemented the ‘no-fly zone’ and ‘humanitarian intervention’ campaigns against Libya – which resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of hapless civilians, the abolition of law and order, the arming of every trigger-happy brainless fucker and their dog - and the total destruction of the North African showpiece nation’s infrastructure – all to achieve regime change from the bonkers Gaddafi’s benign dictatorship and seize control of the natural resources.

In response to the veto, the US Ambassador to the UN, Peggy-Sue Rice, lying through her teeth as per usual, informed one press hack from the Warmongers Gazette that any suggestion by the Ruskies and the sneaky Chinks of the Great Satan fielding a military force against Syria’s Assad regime was "paranoid if not disingenuous".

The French envoy, Pierre le Merde, accused both Moscow’s and Beijing’s ambassadors of seeking to gain some breathing space for the Syrian regime to rearm and deploy troops - while the US’s Rice further stated that Washington planned to intensify efforts outside the Security Council’s scope - by having their pro-Zionist stooge Qatari and Saudi Arabian proxies further fund and arm the Free Syrian rebel mercenaries - and get the rogue state of Israel’s PM, Bobo Nuttyahoo, to send in more of Mossad’s ‘Sonnerad’ agent provocateurs.

Justifying the Russian veto to the media, Moscow’s Foreign Minister Oleg Pissedoffsky, an ardent student of history, informed one press hack from the Hypocrisy Gazette, “We are not stupid and know what comes next – a repeat of the Great Satan’s ‘Project for a New American Century’ – or ‘Foreign Policy Initiative’ whatever they choose to call the land-steal - which translates as the re-branded ‘Protocols of the Greedy Bastard Elders of Zion’ – and a repeat of the ‘kill-every-fucker’ Libyan debacle that achieved its objectives with the murder of Gaddafi and seizing control of the oil reserves – while leaving in their wake chaos, partition, subdivision, warlords, Balkanization, and another aspiring nation returned via force of arms to Third World status.”

“Why is it these Zionist stooges, the rug-munching US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton and this little shit of a British Foreign Secretary Willy Vague, are seeking with spite and malice to further isolate the Assad regime by encouraging Arab nations to impose travel bans and asset freezes when they should be supporting the incumbent government?”
“They support the Bahrain regime and never utter one word of criticism or protest against the despotic barbarism - imprisonment and tortures - visited on the pro-democracy activists by the dictatorial ruler – Sheikh Fizzy al-Kaseltzer and his government of career psychopaths and kleptomaniacs?”

Thought for the day. Gossip and general tittle-tattle that the Free Syrian Army mercenaries are now manning the border immigration and passport control points of the beleaguered country are as yet unconfirmed.

Rumours that the suicide bomber responsible for blasting a cadre of the Assad regime’s top officials to smithereens in Damascus on Wednesday was part of a Kidon team of Mossad’s NLP brainwashed Semtex Stooges also responsible for the false flag “Iran did it!” terrorist attack on a busload of Israeli tourists in Bulgaria on the same day have been partially confirmed after CCTV footage of the villain revealed he was not a Mid-East Arab type but a ginger-mingin Caucasian patsy carrying a US passport and driving licence.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 21 July 2012

Renta-Thug Killer Plod ‘Not Guilty’

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In a verdict that has been unanimously described by everyone still in possession of two ounces of common sense as “an utter fucking joke” – the Met’s TSG riot squad officer responsible for causing the untimely the death of an innocent passer-by was denounced as a ‘thug in uniform’ on Wednesday as he was cleared of the charge of manslaughter by a jury of five men and seven women who deliberated for four days but were not informed of his previous condemning record of official misconduct which included acts of violence, threats and sadistic behaviour towards members of the general public.

Perhaps equally disgusting are highlighted reports in the gutter press red top tabloids that emanate a most definite and prejudicial scent of ‘justifiable homicide’ due the negative publicity (read ‘black propaganda’) that the hapless Tomlinson was – quote: ‘an alcoholic, estranged from his wife and who had slept rough for a number of years’ – as though the above items constituted a viable excuse to sanction PC Simon Harwood’s despicable, sadistic actions and Tomlinson’s murder.

Prior to the unprovoked, fatal assault on Ian Tomlinson on April Fool’s Day 2009, during the G20 London demonstrations, Harwood had been the subject of ten separate complaints, including racially abusing and thumping a 14-year old girl - then threatening to come down mob-handed and set fire to her father’s house; plus a road-rage attack; throttling, kneeing or threatening suspects during heavy-handed arrests; and unlawfully accessing police national computer database for his own nefarious ends.

For the above sins Harwood was due to face internal proceedings in 2001 after being accused of unlawful arrest, abuse of authority and discreditable conduct but slithered through justice’s net by retiring – aged 34 - on medical grounds before a disciplinary hearing took place – then got re-hired by another regional Plod Squad three days later. Oh yes, the stench of graft and corruption permeates all.

Then, as soon as the heat died down, in 2004 he pulled a few Masonic Brotherhood strings, via which route the road rage incident and other crimes were overlooked, and rejoined the Met Plod Squad’s Territorial Support Group - specialising in beating up members of the public – which culminated with the unlawful killing of an innocent passer-by - specifically newsvendor Ian Tomlinson - after Harwood, sans any form of provocation, sadistically lashed him across the back of the legs with an Asp telescopic steel baton then shoved him violently to the concrete pavement – an act recorded with fatalistic serendipity on video for posterity by an obliging Yank tourist. Somebody mention ‘Kismet due’?

Thus the dilemma of a legal contradiction - that following four days of deliberations it was the jury’s decision to acquit and accept Harwood’s disingenuous statement that he used reasonable force to inflict the blows that killed Tomlinson mere minutes later due severe abdominal haemorrhaging resulting from blunt force trauma.

Whereas fourteen months previously the jury sitting at the inquest into Ian Tomlinson's untimely death ruled, on the evidence presented, that he was unlawfully killed by Harwood. The inquest jury’s verdict was made on the same burden of proof as a criminal trial - that is, beyond reasonable doubt.

Basically it comes down to this: by his actions Harwood is a nasty piece of work with a history of misconduct and gratuitous acts of aggression and violence - who has no place in any sub-division of the Met’s Plod Squad – especially the Territorial Bully Boy Unit or working for private security outfits such as the G4S Renta-Thug Agency or Sadists-R-Us.

If the trial jury’s verdict is, in law, correct, that Harwood is not guilty of the charge of ‘manslaughter’ then what is he guilty of?
Regardless of the bullshit propaganda viz Tomlinson being an alcoholic, he was filmed on CCTV and at the time of Harwood’s gratuitous and violent attack, simply sauntering past the police lines – not interfering with anyone – then is struck from behind in a most craven and brutal fashion and shoved to the pavement – is picked up, stumbles off and then collapses and dies – as a direct result of Harwood’s sadistic actions.

Okay, if the charge of ‘manslaughter’ doesn’t fit the crime then what is it - common assault – criminal assault with a deadly weapon - or GBH – or whatever other politically correct euphemism now serves to describe an act of illegal killing – colloquially known as ‘murder’?

Semantics aside, one thing is certain at the end of the day - that Harwood’s fast, cheap and out of control actions - the laying of violent hands upon the person of Ian Tomlinson, did very little to contribute to his well-being and health or longevity.

Thought for the day. The Independent Police Coverups Commission has stated that Harwood will face Metropolitan Police internal disciplinary proceedings later in year. Ironically, in the meantime, he’ll continue to draw tax-payer funded full pay while placed back on gardening leave – along with that other dog wanker - the not-fit-for-purpose Home Office pathologist (sic) Dr Freddy ‘The Fuckwit’ Patel.

So it all comes down to the scandalous fact that yet again the police are above the law and their graft and corruption-ridden Masonic Brotherhood members look after their own - reinforcing the offensive acronym: ACAB.
Discounting the murders of Brazilian electricians and Mark Duggan – amongst a host of others - the number of suspicious deaths in police custody since 1998 now amount to a scandalous 330-plus – with the total of Plod Squad thugs convicted of being a contributing cause to any of these deaths coming to a large ‘zero’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 20 July 2012

Migrant Workers Entitled to Steal UK Jobs

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Our once-sceptred isle’s clusterfuck of a Libservative Coalition government has suffered a potentially serious legal setback in its efforts to reduce the numbers of migrant workers in the UK as the Supreme Court has this week ruled that ministers do not possess any form of Plan B authority to bar foreign workers from Europe due devolution of immigration and labour powers to Brussels.

Under the dictatorial fascist regulations legislated by the EUSSR, economic migrants and other generalised scrounging twats from around the insolvent 27-nation Debtocracy community are legally entitled to enter Broken Britain at will and sign on at the nearest Joblesscentre Plus office, then steal remunerative employment from under the noses of out-of-work Brits.

The House of Conmans Hinduja Affairs Committee chairman Keith ‘I Beat Bulimia’ Vaz, himself a product of the foreign immigrant job stealing system (Yemeni / Indian) obviously suffering from a very selective memory, spoke with a gutter press hack from the Graft & Corruption Gazette outside his office at Nadhmi Auchi House on Thursday and claimed the ruling had delivered the final ‘nail in the coffin’ blow to the current Punch and Judy Show immigration policy and flawed points / merit visa system.

The Supreme Court’s Lord Stairrod of Axminster & Wilton, along with fellow judge Lord Dyson of the Vacuum Cleaners, warned that Parliament's system for overseeing immigration rules is no longer fit for purpose, especially since the Borders Agency went into self-harming auto-redundancy mode and laid off the entire staff - including Tiddles the office moggie.

The ruling came in the case of Achmed Jaffacake, a Pakiland national who came to the UK in 2003 as a student then stayed on following the completion of his studies and graduating with a degree in Welfare Benefit Fraud, to join the prestigious Rochdale Taxi Drivers Guild and pimp vulnerable underage slappers with body temperature IQs.

In 2009, Mr Jaffacake married his common law partner, Chlamydia Trollenberg, the 16-year old Estonian immigrant operator of Rochdale’s Lotsatottie Rub n Tug Massage Salon and immediately applied for further leave to remain under the revised ‘Points-Based System’ rules for migrant workers, which calculated the type of skills that would most benefit the UK commercial economy.
However the Home Office decided Jaffacake did not qualify as the UK already had an over-abundance of foreign taxi drivers – and lowlife kiddie-fiddling pimps.

Interviewed on the BBC’s Scrounging Gits Hour programme, Vaz – the New Labour MP for Red Leicester - explained that “This is one of the problems of allowing the EUSSR a say in Britain’s immigration policy and still having this hang-over from Empire’s Day when anyone with a perma-sun tan could come here and set up a tent then bring their relatives over as well.”

“Obviously this Supreme Court ruling now throws open the immigration doors to every gyppo swan roaster and carp-poaching scumbag from across Europe to simply walk in and set up shop, so our Coalition leaders, Messrs Scameron and Clogg need to get their proverbial shit together and pass some new pikey-proof laws.”

Hmmm, short memories indeed – thank you Keith Vaz.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

HSBC Takes Over From BCCI

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The gospel according to a US Senate committee investigating illegal money laundering operations by the Hong Kong & Shanghai Banking Corporation, a commercial bank not wholly controlled by the Rothshite crime syndicate, claims they provided a financial conduit for drug cartels, terrorist organisations, arms dealers and dodgy Third World despots involved with smuggling conflict diamonds, rhino horns and sex slave trafficking.

The US Department of Graft & Corruption, currently conducting a criminal investigation into HSBC's operations, presented evidence that the bank had knowingly laundered funds not only for the Big Al Qaeda Gang and the notorious Afghan terrorist Taliban Dan, but also the Mexican Pendejo drug cartel, moving zillions of dollars into their Cayman Islands branch via what became known to bank exec’s as ‘Beaner account transfers’.

According to the Senate committee, HSBC accepted more than $15 trillion in cash from subsidiaries in Mexico for money laundering at their Houston-based ‘Washarama’ deposit clearing facility but failed to conduct any due diligence checks or monitoring of these bulk cash illicit transactions, claiming the suitcases of high denomination bills were the proceeds from lucky Lotto draws and offshore gambling wins – and often smeared with large gobs of salsa.

The president and chief executive of HSBC Bank USA, Candida Scumerotti, apologised to the Senate committee for their criminal behaviour which she related was deeply regretted – especially the getting caught red-handed part – which prompted HSBC's head of compliance, Ronnie McScrote, to resign and flee to parts unknown – along with HSBC executive Shylock Scattstein, who was head of retail banking and quit due to ill health to concentrate on his personal wealth management issues.

Ms Scumerotti announced that "Obviously it is a disappointing fact that HSBC did not live up to the expectations of our regulators, our customers, our employees, and the general public – even if our money-laundering clients were happy with our performance and gave us a ten out of ten score. However that’s the way with corporate greed, when the dollars are simply rolling in. Just ask Lloyd Wankfiend and the boys at Gold-in-Sacks for confirmation on that point."

Thought for the day: Hmmm, obviously HSBC have stepped in to fill the vacuum and assume the mantle left by the dissolution of the Bank of Crime and Corruption International (BCCI), founded in 1972 by Agha Hasan Abedi, a Pakistan-based Indian crime lord, aka the sub-continent’s answer to Rasputin – that laundered money for every bent fucker and their dog – including drug cartels, Western intelligence agencies, illegal arms dealers – and Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 19 July 2012

Melinda Gates Pushes Genocide Agenda

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The current issue of the Genocide Review carries a full coverage report (plus a glossy centrefold ‘Jonestown’ pull-out) of last week’s London Family Planning Summit, hosted by the Bonkers Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation (BBMGF), where the manky Melinda, a world-class fascist dipshit with her head so far up her own arse it’s a wonder she can still breathe, slithered up to the podium and unabashedly promoted the UN’s Agenda 21 depopulation and eugenics Final Solution strategy – duplicitously in the name of carbon reduction and women’s rights – to rid the world – in her own words - of some six billion useless eaters – aka the 99% Have Not’s that comprise the human herd.

Representatives from both the ethnic cleansing and genocide industry’s government and private contractor sectors were in attendance, which included a laugh-a-minute ‘What to Do With All the Dead Bodies’ workshop presented by the UK’s Grave-Diggers and Funeral Directors Alliance, and sponsored by the blue chip Corpse Disposal Solutions leader Body-Bags-R-Us SA - along with the Rothshite’s crime syndicate-owned Gulag Earthmoving International.

One seminar sponsored by FEMA and the Mass Graves Gazette went into discussions for alternative strategies to achieve the elitist 1% Have’s depopulation mission, which included the manufacture of regional mass extinction level events such as limited scope nuclear wars and further false flag ‘tsunami’ repeats of the series of 20 megaton neutron bomb generated catastrophes of Boxing Day 2004 which, when all three devices were detonated simultaneously in a test run on the Indian Ocean seabed, swamped north-west Sumatra and the Bay of Bengal and Andaman Sea coastlines of Sri Lanka, India, Thailand and Malaysia.

This proved to be such a success that the project was duplicated offshore Honshu last year to initiate the earthquake-less Sendai tidal wave in Japan - which served as the prefect cover-up for the rigged-to-blow-apart Fuckupshima nuclear reactor disaster and ensuing radioactive contamination of the entire North to Mid-Pacific regions.

The BBMGF claim their research reveals that by 2050 the global population will have expanded to 10 billion people, a figure that they, along with the Club of Rome, the Rockefeller Foundation, the CFR and the Bilderberg Group’s neo-Nazi eugenicists, seem to find unacceptable – hence intend to start bankrolling corrupt Third World governments on a global scale to implement a veritable barrage of dictatorial social programs to push family planning – with the Chinese forced ligation policy as their model.

This will manifest as a groundbreaking effort to ensure that those in poorer nations do not have the expressed ability to procreate, but be inundated with compulsory sterilization under the guise of family planning.

In the ginger-mingin Melinda Gates unqualified opinion “We need to have the jackboot stamp down on this problem before these lowlifes get an education and see what’s wrong in the world and kick start a goddamn bloody revolution.”

“My Bill’s already got a bunch of mad scientists trying to conjure up some new germs to spread with the chemtrail cocktails to reduce the common herd - as the man-made synthetic Morgellons and HIV / AIDS viruses simply aren’t killing enough people and every smart ass and their dog are wary of Big Pharma’s contaminated toxic flu jabs since the Bird Flu and Sneezy Pig Virus scams were seen through for the mass population cull campaign they were.”

“Really, there are simply too many useless eaters, that’s why me and Bill commissioned the Georgia Guidestones - along with that stockpile of half a million Poly-Vault plastic coffins stacked up outside Atlanta’s Centre for Disease Control - to get the message across that these peasants have been swimming for far too long at the shallow end of the gene pool and it’s time to sort the wheat from the chaff as there’s gonna be no place for them in our designer Theme Park America.”

“Who wants to have hordes of red necks interbreeding and living in tent cities and shanty towns and lowering the tone of the place? It’s not our fault they’re all IQ-deficient and don’t have the brains to start up their own zillion-dollar companies like Bill’s MicroSlop and pay their sub-prime mortgages or afford Obamacare health insurance.”

“I was talking to that old Prince Stavros at the Family Planning Summit in London, the Greek guy that’s married to Mrs Queenie and he was telling me about his super plan to get re-incarnated as a virus and wipe out all the useless eaters – apparently an idea he got from one of his boyhood heroes, some Kraut racial purity guru called Hitler.”

The sinister Bonkers Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has partnered with China’s dodgy Shanghai Dahua Pharmaceuticals drug corporation to develop implantable fertility controls that will be used in scores of Third World dumps to curb population growth by ensuring that clinics are always stocked with the full range of contraceptives, implants, IUDs – plus the injectable Depo-Preovera instant sterilising agent - and thus guarantee the Illuminati’s flawed depopulation agenda is on track and going ahead at full speed.

So much for Melinda, yet another Texas turkey, and a broomstick merchant full to the brim with her own brand of unqualified arrogance - plus a very misguided Naziesque sense of personal purpose and mission alike that other conceited, thick-as-pigshit self-righteous U2 twat Bono – the saviour of the known Universe.

Manky Melinda’s just another shitbag nerd with more money than moral sense who wants to play God and fuck with the balance of Nature and the Gaia Principle, to engineer a mass extinction level human cull event to rid the Earth of all those nasty unwashed peasants she and Bill don’t approve of.

No worries Melinda, our Sun’s getting very active right now, and ready to start hurling out super-charged solar flares in the X+10 / +20 magnitude – and when the eruption / discharge point of one of those ‘Killshots’ is on the same astronomical bearing and vector as our planet then the wish list mass extinction level event will occur – and take out every fucker and their dog – elitists included.

Thought for the day. So much for the inbred Brahmin’s self-ordained authority to cull the human herd – a prerogative supposedly deriving from sacrosanct bloodlines, presupposed aristocratic heritage rights, contrived financial and military advantage, and now under the concocted eugenicist cry of survival of the fittest.

In the pursuit of her family planning / forced sterilisation campaign perhaps the condescending Melinda might start by setting a stellar example to all the Third World undesirables - by getting herself and two nerdy daughters ligated or pumped full of Depo-Preovera - and son rampant Rory’s tubes vasectomised before they too start filling up the planet with more hungry mouths and draining valuable resources.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Foreign Diplomats Taking de Piss

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

According to a recently-released House of Conmans report, foreign diplomats in London owe £58 zillion quid in congestion charges since the scheme's launch by Mayor Red Ken Livingroom in 2003 – with staff belonging to the Great Satan’s US of A Embassy being the worst offenders, having built up outstanding fines now in excess of £6 million nicker.

Typically, in their unqualified arrogance and contempt for all things not ordained as being in the American image, the US State Department claim their foreign service corps have diplomatic immunity which exempts them from paying the congestion charge – or parking fine penalties – and pretty much doing what the fuck they want.

The Tory Party’s pro-Zionist Foreign Secretary Willy Vague informed a press hack from the Delinquents Gazette that a total of sixty-four diplomatic missions owe more than £50 zillion quid in congestion charges and parking fines to the office of Bonkers Boris Nonsense, the current Mayor of the London Metropolitan Borough.

“Really, it’s not good enough. These sodding oicks might well be entitled to claim diplomatic immunity, but that does not constitute a license to commit petty crimes and refuse to pay the on-the-spot penalties incurred – or the massive amounts of council tax and business rates they are in arrears on their respective embassy and consulate properties.”

“Okay, I suppose we expect to encounter a few problems with some of the cash-strapped Third World dumps trying to maintain a diplomatic mission in London, but not the likes of that Chief Wormhole N’Dinga Jaffacake, the Ambassador of Bongabongaland, out around the casinos and Soho clubs every night, gambling and whoring and paying his way in conflict diamonds – then he pleads poverty when old Mayor Bonkers sends the bailiffs round with a council tax writ.”

“Same with the Saudi Arabian Ambassador, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer. A multi-zillionaire business tycoon in his own right, who claims the hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet around the Middle East. Drives around London with his harem of catamites and parks his sodding stretch limo outside Selfridges or Harrods while his wives go off on shoplifting expeditions – then threatens the traffic wardens with beheading and rips up the parking tickets.”

With the Great Satan in first place, Russia and Japan had the highest totals in unpaid congestion charges, owing more than £4 million quid each, followed by Ms Merkel’s Krautland with over £3 million.

Unpaid parking fines from 2011.

Saudi Arabia: £135,963
Nigeria: £67,585
Bongabongaland: £58,638
Turkey: £28,230
Afghanistan: £14,495
Malaysia: £12,555
France: £12,195

Total unpaid congestion charges.

USA: £6,146,640
Russia: £4,653,960
Japan: £4,160,280
Germany: £3,641,170
Bongabongaland: £3,472,618
Saudi Arabia: £3,629,347
Nigeria: £3,129,030

So, what’s the answer to the problem? Well, Transport for London could try to sign them all up for a Boris Bike contract.
But, as the same rule of law applies to the common herd, get our closet case FS Willy Vague and Justice Secretary Ken Clarke on the case – write out a few “Read this, Tremble and Obey’ style letters – which worked wonders for the Ming Emperors of the Middle Kingdom.
Then if they don’t pay up sharpish-like, start a campaign of stabbing their tyres, clamping and towing away – straight down to the local recycling yard and crush ‘em into ‘diplomatically-immune’ scrap bales.

Yep, that should get their collective attentions focused pretty fast.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby, committed to the relay of open source information – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.