Monday, 18 June 2012

2012 Olympics Ripoff Tickets Fraud

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The graft and corruption-ridden International Olympic Committee has begun a massive coverup campaign to stifle an investigation into claims that profit-bent National Olympic Committee representatives have been flogging off thousands of tickets for the London Games on the Ripoffs-R-Us.com website.

The IOC's ruling executive board met in secret conclave last night following fresh claims by reporters from News Corporation’s Sunday Shitraker gutter press tabloid that they’d successful hacked scores of text messages sent between the culprits – a list of dodgy NOC officials comprised of the usual suspects from Third World ‘Kleptocracy’ government shitholes who were selling tickets for top events at ten times their face value on the black market.

While the credibility-deficient IOC has referred the allegations to its independent Whitewash Commission for investigation, the UK's Olympics organiser, Locog, denied claims its chairman, Lord Sebastopol Cocoa, who once won a medal for jogging before being stricken with a chronic case of ‘Charmaid’s Knee’, was persuaded to hand over hundreds of extra tickets to Ms Cornstarch Jaffacake, the National Olympic Committe representative for Bongo Bongo in Africa.

The Sunday Shitraker has published a dossier of evidence collected during their two-month trail of corruption investigation, in which gutter press hacks posing as Olympic tourists filmed scores of raghead and pikey touts around London selling thousands of tickets originating from 54 separate countries on the black market for up to 10 times their face value.

More than one million London 2012 tickets for the Olympic Stadium’s 80.000 seats were distributed abroad by Locog among the nations taking part in the Games, with the mandated proviso that National Olympic Committees must ensure that their allocation is only sold within their own region. However, last month a Ukrainian Olympic senior official, Oleg Mobsaroubles, was forced to resign after being filmed by a cameraman from the Ripoffs Gazette flogging tickets for cash to Russian oligarch tourists around the Black Sea resort of Odessa.

Thought for the day: So, what’s new? Yet another bunch of money-grubbing National Olympic Committee scallies not wanting to miss out on their once every leap year chance to make a fast buck – which is nothing compared to what the OIC mandarins leech from the gravy train system – all being notorious for their demands for dedicated Soviet style road lanes, accommodations at top ranking 5-star hotels with fully stocked mini-bars, chauffeured limos and three hole whores on 24/7 stand-by.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

jon gloster said...

people can take all tickets of every game and sport at very discounted rate.