Saturday, 17 March 2012

Posh Dave Touts US / UK Special Relationship

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Currently off on a bit of a taxpayer-funded jaunt to the Great Satan, Posh Dave Scameron has joined with Barky O’Barmy in publicly promoting - before an assembly of vomiting press hacks - the unique and essential relationship that exists between the US and UK – claiming "NATO and the West’s armaments industry counts on our alliance to keep them in business.”

During his three-day trip Scameron will discuss what they call the next phase of the transition in Afghanistan – to continue the current strategy of letting US troops burn stacks of Korans then set them loose to get shit-faced drunk and kill anyone old enough to bleed – or handing the same job over to the incompetent Afghans themselves.

Concerns over how to improve the quality and sustenance of the current threadbare propaganda being generated to justify NATO intervention in Syria will also be high on the agenda – along with the type of false flag attack on Western interests required to justify Israel launching a pre-emptive first strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities – and subsequently kick-starting World War Three.

In their joint press conference the two morons stated that the alliance between the UK and US was "a partnership of the heart, bound by the history, traditions and values we share – the imperialist ethic and neo-colonial conquests of Third World shitholes and the control of their natural resources to ensure Western commercial and military hegemony well into the next century.”

Scameron rationalised for a somewhat confused media audience "Since the first contrived Gulf War against Iraq, our troops have demonstrated what can be achieved when British and Americans work together – overthrowing pisspot dictators with big ideas of going it on their own – or siding up to the bloody Russians or Chinese – and installing our ‘chosen ones’ – a set of fascist regimes that have a Rothshite-administered central banking system and a well-established IMF-funded Debtocracy programme – plus play the willing host to our military bases.”
“This remains an essential relationship - to our nations and the world – saving the bloody darkies from themselves and making sure they don’t fuck things up for the rest of us.”

Scameron’s visit comes at a tense time for Afghanistan after a gang of pissed-up GI psychopaths from the 18th Body Bag Regiment went AWOL last week and shot dead 16 Afghan civilians for a bit of a laugh – then burned the bodies and blamed the entire homicidal incident on their hapless Staff Sergeant, Bobby Bales.

However, avoiding any and all mention or reference to that major fubar, the Kenyan cuckoo announced they were proud of the progress that NATO troops from the 25th Agriculture Brigade had made in Afghanistan with getting the Taliban-decimated opium fields back up to 100% crop harvest level in only ten years, giving a boost to the global heroin markets and Western intelligence’s black op’s slush funds.

They also used the opportunity to blame the horrific violence visited on innocent civilians by the foreign-funded rebel mercenaries on the incumbent Syrian regime and vowed to continue to tighten the noose around President Assad and his cohorts as long as Syrian Danny’s nightly lies on CNN remained credible – and promised to push for UN-sanctioned military action by the US Africom force to take control of Central Africa as soon as the CIA had recruited a suitable Ugandan ‘Danny’ stooge to spread the gospel of Kony Baloney and the prospect of another child army being loosed on an unsuspecting world.

Conversely, Baz ‘Pitbull’ McSkanger, the war correspondent for the International Daily Shitraker, holding court at the Belligerent’s Bar in Washington’s Skylark Hotel, opined that “Really, Cabbage Patch Dave’s more full of shit than a Christmas goose. The last time this phenomenon manifested its ugly head, with Tony Bliar flying over here to have an up-close n confidential male bonding session (cuddle) with the moronic Dubya Bush, the UK was involved in the illegal invasion of Iraq a couple of weeks later on the strength of a dodgy weapons of mass distraction dossier conjured up by Alastair ‘The Cunt’ Campbell and rogue elements of MI6.”

“So, what’s next we might ask? A humanitarian intervention / no-fly zone operation in Syria to get shut of the Russian-friendly / anti-Zionist Assad regime – and a criminal pre-emptive first strike military attack on Iran?”

“I mean, what a crock of sycophantic shite – praising Mr Hope n Change’s non-existent ‘strength, moral authority and wisdom’ – a bloke who copped a Nobel Peace Prize for committing the Great Satan to a high-in-oath, mud-splattered, full gallop course of continued belligerence and military aggression against an assortment of hapless Third World dumps that have a stack of untapped natural resources they want to steal at fire sale prices.”

“Really, this mongrel twat O’Barmy’s no right even being in the White House in the first place - he’s not a Yank by birth – in fact nobody seems to know what the fuck he is – Kenyan – Indonesian – or the bastard son of Malcolm X Factor.”
“Hence one is prompted to inquire how did Barky get Scameron to start singing his praises? Orders from his Rothshite crime syndicate bosses – or seduced with a visit to Barky’s favourite gay bathhouse – followed by a couple of snorts of Columbian snow and a Larry Sinclair style blowjob in the back of a limo with ‘dem’ big brown cock-sucking lips?”

Thought for the day: Fuck the ZioNazi-dominated Great Satan - and NATO – and Scameron – and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) - enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

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