Monday 28 February 2011

Libservative Hypocrisy Hits Zenith

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The UK’s Libservative coalition Prime Minister, ‘Cabbage Patch Dave’ Scameron, has yet again opened mouth before engaging brain and joined with the legions of political taking heads and pisspot pundits in spewing forth volumes of black propaganda demonising Muammar al Gadaffi, the ‘mad, bad and dangerous to know’ bonkers Libyan leader – stating for the public record that the UK will be pressing for an investigation into whether the crazy Colonel’s regime has committed "war crimes" during its crackdown on popular protests.

Hmmm, but nary a mention of an investigation into the Egyptian or Bahranian regime’s ‘homicidal’ crackdowns by their brutal police and military forces resulting in the arbitrary arrests, detention and torture of peaceful pro-democracy demonstrators – with the Tunisian interim government – still composed of members of the ousted President Zine al-Twat Ben Ali’s ‘Kleptocracy Party’ – yesterday ordering troops to disperse crowds of demonstrators in Tunis with tear gas - who were simply exercising their democratic right to protest the fact that “Ali Baba might have gone but the Forty Thieves were still running the government”.

Also conspicuous by its absence in his ‘human rights and wrongs’ speech was any mention from ‘Posh Dave’ of an investigation into the UK’s London Metropolitan Plod Squad’s violent ‘crackdown’ on popular protests at the 2009 G20 demonstrations – which in one instance resulted in the death of news vendor Ian Tomlinson, an innocent passer-by, sadistically attacked by PC Simon Harwood for no good reason apart from the fact the Met staffs it’s Renta-Thug Squad with psychopaths – a murder still denied the due process of justice by the Freemason-infested Crown Prosecution Service.

Further, to mark well the annals of duplicity and double standards maintained by the British government, the hypocrisy-ridden Scameron ignored cat calls for a similar scale of investigation into the violence meted out on juvenile and college age demonstrators during last December’s student tuition fee hike protests that saw Met Plod Squad officers from the ‘Tender Mercies’ Division toss the disabled Jody McIntire out of his wheelchair and drag him across the road.

While Scameron might be justified in his self-serving and duplicitous concern for Libyan pro-democracy protesters, no inquiry has ever been launched into the case of student protestor, Alfie Meadows, 20, who required brain surgery after being struck by a police baton during the tuition fee hike demo’s – or the plight of hundreds of students who sought medical treatment at A & E units for third degree burns and scalding injuries after being ‘kettled’ by the Met’s uniformed yobs.

Regardless, the pathetic slack-jawed Scameron stooge has declared that the UK government – meaning the Rothshite crime syndicate-controlled Privy Council - wants an investigation into whether the Libyan regime has committed "war crimes" in its crackdown on protests.

Scameron stated his "clear warning" to the eccentric Gadaffi meant that the current violence being visited on the raging mob of looting protesters and assorted anarchist riff-raff was "unacceptable" – whilst gratuitous and deadly NATO violence exercised by UK troops against civilians in Afghanistan, by comparison, was.
Ah, what a joy to behold – our elected Parliamentary representatives in the House of Conmans - where irony and hypocrisy co-exist in harmonious accord with criminal deceit and treason.

Scameron, sporting a sickening fresh coat of day-glow orange spray-on tan, announced to a gaggle of gutter press hacks loitering outside Number 10 that international justice "had a long reach" and “an even longer memory”- and the hapless Libyan leader would be "held to account" for his actions.

Hmmm, perhaps ‘international justice’ does have a long reach and a longer memory when it comes to Western-labelled pariahs alike the contrary Gadaffi – and the Nazi German ‘Holohoax’ criminals of Nuremberg - but not for the likes of George Dubya Bush and Tony Bliar for the illegal invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq – or the Israeli Defence Force when they commit acts of piracy and murder unarmed peace activist on the Mavi Marmara Freedom Flotilla – then the customary and typical double standard applies for ZioNazi Israel and their kikester war criminals.

(Please, no mention of Israel’s racist Great Apartheid Walls besieging the West Bank and Gaza Strip or we’ll all be labelled anti-Semites.)

So, the Western media’s long knives are out for the numpty Libyan Colonel and his Raving Bonkers Party regime. Hardly surprising as Gadaffi has always, by the very nature of insanity, been his own worse enemy when opening gob and going into blabberwocky mode – only the Zionist-owned media are painting the clot even blacker than he actually is since he sanctioned the use of weapons-grade ‘Fart Gas’ – a pressurised synthetic flatulence in a CS tear gas style canister that can make a big brown dog barf and go into convulsions – against pro-democracy protesters in Benghazi.

Supplied by the UK-based Defence Technologies arms manufacturer, the hydrogen sulphide / hot chilli pepper capsaicin content of ‘Fart Gas’ measures a lung-searing 2,067,286 units on the Scoville scale – a rating used to measure the noxious and toxic content of septic tanks, cesspits and pikey whore’s crotches.

Now, to cap the current wave of Gadaffi-bashing his Minister of Justice (read Back-Stabbing) Mustapha bin Lying Git, has pulled an ‘exit stage left’ manoeuvre and done a runner to Club Fled with a bag full of cash and joined the ranks of the Western stooges, and gone into ‘bearing false witness’ mode, spouting off to the Zionist media that Gadaffi was personally responsible for ordering the December 1988 Lockerbie bombing out of his biased hatred for Pan-Am and Scottish haggis.

Hmmm, is that how hard up the Western political manipulation machine is – to verbally spew this transparent pile of shite black propaganda – when every fucker and their dog knows that the downing of Pan-Am 103 was a Mossad / CIA false flag terrorist wet operation expedited out of necessity to protect their joint Operation Corea - run by Syrian Monzer al-Kassar – in cahoots with that notorious fuckwit, Colonel Oliver North of the Pentagon’s covert ‘Renta-Cunt’ section.

This set-up expedited a regular schedule of smuggling of heroin from Lebanon into the good ole US of A via Pan-Am flights in ‘diplomatic bag’ luggage – with one suitcase containing the fatal bomb to snuff two Defence Intelligence Agency officers on PA 103 – Matt Gannon and Charlie McKee - who were on their way back to Washington DC (District of Criminals) to blow the gaff on said Operation Corea and the negative influence it was having on their operations to locate and rescue Western hostages being held by Palestinian paramilitary groups in Syria and Lebanon.

One former Scottish police chief Hector McTwatt, provided lawyers with a signed statement claiming that key evidence in the Lockerbie bombing trial was fabricated to make Libya and Gadaffi look bad – and Abdul Bassett Hound al-Megrahi, purportedly a member of the Libyan intelligence services (sic), was convicted of the Pan-Am 103 flight bombing regardless of the judicial impropriety and suppression of evidence that was never presented in court and would have exonerated the afore-mentioned patsy - al Megrahi.

So, while Posh Dave Scameron continues to malign the Libyan regime from the safety of our once-sceptred isle, the US Pentagon has announced it is looking at all options in dealing with the Libyan crisis – such as drawing up plans to intervene militarily under the disingenuous guise of providing humanitarian assistance and upholding the principles of Democracy.

The satanic ZioNazi dominated US of A has a track record of being judiciously selective in its responses to humanitarian crises anywhere – and Africa in particular – with the corrupt ‘Artful Dodger’ Clinton administration – controlled by international banksters and the military-industrial globalist cabal - opting to be “bystanders” during the genocide that ravaged Rwanda in 1994 – and actually lobbied the United Nations for a total withdrawal of its blue-capped forces in April 1994 – which contributed directly to the massacre of 850,000 people in the East African nation.

Thought for the day: Does the ZioNazi corporate media’s demonisation of Libya and its push for a military intervention (read ‘send in the Marines’ invasion) to halt the slaughter of ‘peaceful’ protesters have anything to do with the fact Libya holds the largest proven oil reserves on the Africa continent - 44 billion barrels – without counting the natural gas reserves and the biggest fresh water aquifers to be found under the Pan-Sahara.

What a biased state of affairs exists when both the ruling coalition’s Tory and Lib-Dum parties have established corrupt ‘Friends of Israel’ associations – but there’s nary a sign of a ‘Friends of Libya’ club.

Conversely, adopting a typical Israeli ‘victim defence’ strategy, Gadaffi has lodged an official diplomatic complaint with the International Court of Human Rights in the Hague that agents of the US government have hacked into his personal Facebook page and totally ‘de-friended’ him.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the Rothshite-controlled ZioNazi corporate media and the New World Order.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 27 February 2011

Fidei Defensor Disses AGW Skeptics

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Applauded and egged-on by a legion of back-slapping Freemason sychophants, public school sodomites and other assorted toadies, the UK’s next royal parasite in line to be King (Heaven forbid), old Big Ears Charlie Windsor, accompanied by his chain-smoking Royal Slut, Gorgonzilla, the Duchess of Cornhole, last week visited the EUSSR HQ in Brussels and bemused MEPs with his presentation of Chicken Little histrionics and a welter of dubious statistics regarding what he, in his unqualified opinion, considers the fucked up state of the global climate.

While giving only passing mention to the fact he is heir to the throne by Divine Right, and hence a cut above the rest of humanity, Chazzer called for drastic reductions in the global peasantry’s economic standard of living – er – but not his own – concluding with a full stream of toxic venom spat in the general direction of those vile heretics – the anthropogenic global warming sceptics – they who would dare to challenge Chazzer’s misinformed verdicts and rightly decry the vast body of financially-biased scientific opinion and rigged dodgy data which denies the Sun has anything to do with ‘climate change’ and blames it all on farting cows and each and every source of domestic and industrial CO2 emissions that could prove exploitable for taxation.

Chazzer resorted to a spot more name-dropping, reminding members of the audience he would be Britain’s Defender of the Faith when crowned Monarch, and that even now, from this standpoint, global warming had become a religious crusade for his exalted royal personage and thus he required no further proof for such a dogmatic assertion that AGW was the cause of the Earth’s climatic ills and only the carbon credit offset cap and trade exchange bourse could save us all.

Such is the level of ‘bonkerism’ now suffered by the deluded clot that he affects a religious attachment to this particular false belief system while conveniently ignoring the facts of criminal data manipulation to obtain financial grants by parties of self interest (University of East Anglia and the IPCC’s Dr Cro-Magnon Pachauri for a start) that have caused Al Bore’s AGW scam to fall apart at the seams.

So, is Prince Chazzer actually sectionable under the statutes of the Mental Health Act? Probably not if he confines himself to talking to plants and promoting his ‘Duchy Originals’ Rhubarb and Nettle enema mixes – now available at branches of Boots, Holland & Barrett, and any fully equipped BD/SM fetish dungeon.

However one has cause to wonder, when Chazzer refers to himself as ‘Fidei Defensor’, which actual faith is he talking about defending – Christianity – the Protestant brand – or the Judaism of the Sanhedrin – the very same chaps who had Jesus murdered? Let’s not lose sight of the fact this is a man who claims to trace his bloodline back to the Royal House of David the Israelite (the bloke who snuffed the big Philistine bouncer, Goliath).

So, we wonder, are the British public being flogged something less than Henry XIII promised with the Reformation, when he told the Pope to ‘stick it’ and formed the Church of England?
Okay we know Chazzer’s a bit of an all-round nutter who’s possessed by an absurd sense of entitlement and thinks nothing of abusing royal privilege, but the Fidei Defensor title is a worry when the bloke gets christened as a Proddie then goes into shifty Shylock mode and joins the Children of the Covenant’s half-cock brigade by having London’s chief Mohel, Rabbi Ja’akoff Scumberg, ritually snip a couple of inches of foreskin off his tadger in the grand Abrahamic tradition.

Hmmm, Prince of Wales indeed – the shit-for-brains tosspot should be re-titled the Prince of Tel Aviv – he joins the Zionist ranks of God’s Chosen People by having his cock shortened a couple of inches then goes trotting around the country doing the ribbon-cutting opening ceremonies for synagogues galore.

If Prince Bonkers has made halting climate change his ‘Canutesque’ mission in life then a first step in the right direction of self-regulation would be to put a stop to his horror of a troll of a missus, Gorgonzilla, the Duchess of Cornhole’s 60-a-day chain-smoking habit – puffing away at Duchy Originals full strength toxic ‘Tumours’ and polluting the countryside.

Thought for the Day: Do you think Chazzer would be well suited to walking the streets of London wearing a sandwich board, bearing the apocalyptic message “Jehovah says the End is Nigh!”

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 26 February 2011

Jacqui the Minger Gets Into Porno

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Jacqui Smith, the ex-Labour Home Secretary and former MP for Red Dork, has been busy cobbling together a documentary for the BBC Radio 5’s ‘Skank of the Week’ programme looking at the pornography industry in Britain today – an interest she developed after whistle-blowing bastards attached to the House of Conmans accounts division alerted Ox-Rat, the government abuse watchdog, that she’d been claiming for rentals of CockBuster Video hard porn DVDs on her Parliamentary expenses – a sin she automatically blamed on her dog-wanker of a husband ‘Dick’.

The ginger-mingin' Smith was forced to hang her head in shame and resign all government posts in 2009 after it was discovered she’d further broken the 11th Commandment on other accounts and got caught claiming that a broom cupboard at her sister’s home at Twatsbury Hamlets was her main residence, allowing her to rake in zillions of quid in expenses for her ‘second home’ in Red Dork.

At the time of the porno DVD rentals / MP’s expenses scandal, Smith claims she shit kittens when she learned her husband Dickie was a serial jackoff artist who got off on watching ‘fuck flicks’ (‘Parliamentary Sluts’ and ‘Desperate Home Secretary’s Toyboys’) and having a sly tug instead of saving his lusting passions for the matrimonial bed.

Conversely, both friends and associates alike described Dickie Timney as the type of person who instinctively prompts you to count your fingers after shaking hands with him – and a shifty rogue who was discovered to be behind a series of scandalous propaganda letters praising the work of Home Secretary Smith that were circulated to newspapers to make the expenses-fiddling bitch look good.
While the thick twat had actually signed them ‘Richard Timney, he had failed to indicate or disclose he was Jacqui Smith’s husband and managing her Parliamentary constituency office – and her personal porno DVD library.

Speaking to Hugh Jampton, a reporter from the Jackoffs Gazette, concerning her forthcoming porno documentary, aptly titled “The Three Hole Shuffle”- Smith confided that a lot of the girls involved in the industry that she met while doing her research came across as very street smart and only in it for the money.
“Well, who can blame them when you can get paid £2 grand cash-in-hand for being filmed giving some bloke a suck n spit blow job – or £1,000 per inch for taking it up the arse without a condom – and I’ve been doing all this for years and charging Dickie bugger all - no pun intended.”

“Laughter aside, just thinking about a balanced diet, I never realised you could have so much fun with those phallic-shaped fruits and salad veggies – and still get your recommended 5-a-day.”

Thought for the day: The ginger mingin' Smith, while still clinging to her post as Home Secretary and issuing Stalinist ‘exclusion orders’ against anyone and their dog of ‘foreign extraction’ that didn’t fit her model of ‘socio-political acceptance’ – was described for these xenophobic acts by veteran Guardian hack Cath Bennett as “so staggeringly capricious and stupid, as to defy evaluation”.
Hmmm, just the qualifications required for her new mega-bucks post as vice-chairman of the BBC Trust.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 25 February 2011

Saudi King Shits Kittens – Pledges ‘Change’

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Typical of all tyrants, dictators, despots and autocratic governments – past and present – when faced with the prospect of their populations of marginalised and disaffected peasant getting a cob on and turning Bolshie, they suddenly wake up aghast as the mob’s raging fury reaches critical mass level and erupts in a cataclysmic chain reaction of violent socio-political upheaval.

It is only then, out of a primordial base instinct sense of survival, that they consider it timely and appropriate to give any modicum of succour to the rampaging masses in a belated attempt to avoid a total blood and guts revolution and the overthrow of the established corrupt order. And no – offering them a slice of cake instead of bread doesn’t really cut it – just ask Marie Antoinette.

So too as above is now the case for Saudi Arabia’s ruling plutocrat, King Abdullah bin Fat Slob, who returned to Riyadh this week following a lengthy sojourn in the US of A where he has been undergoing medical treatment for a chronic ingrown double chin problem coupled to complications suffered when his sense of humour transplant rejected him.

During the time the lard-arsed monarch has been away, a popular proletariat uprising in Tunisia has seen the shitbag premier Zine el Abidine ben al Twatt and his Kleptocracy Party government flee the country (to Saudi, funnily enough) - followed by a carbon copy revolution in Egypt where the shit-for-brains protesters did a ‘frying pan to fire’ manoeuvre and moronically swapped the hatchet-faced Mubarak for a military junta – not a really astute political move when you’re bent on achieving a Democratic system of government.

Simultaneously the shit has hit the fan big time in Bahrain and Libya, with both subjected to ongoing mass protests of an order of magnitude and reaction proportionate to the sum total of past privations and sufferings experienced under the dictatorial misrule of dynastic despots and their pisspot panjandrums - setting the mood for a wave of revolt and reform throughout North Africa and the Middle East that will reshape the Pan-Arab / Islamic political landscape for better – or worse.

And this is the regional state of socio-political discontent - the great all-new Arab-Muslim game of Despot Dominoes - that King Abdullah bin Fat Slob has returned home to – with the Arab neighbourhood now resembling a war zone – and his health the subject of intense speculation, especially so since every fucker and their dog tipped to be in line for a turn on the royal throne are older than Methuselah and fit for fuck all due their sedentary lifestyles of gourmet nose-bagging, boozing, gambling, sodomising their harems of catamites and snorting tracks of Columbia’s finest unadulterated narcotic dandruff.

King Abdullah bin Fat Slob’s half-brother, Crown Prince Sultan al Paedo, who is also in his eighties, has been in charge of counting the oil dollars in his absence and is touted as the monarch’s successor – but is likewise stricken with more medical complaints than a leper’s dog and an addiction to high octane Viagra.

Hence, reflecting on the fucked up mess of anarchy the region is currently experiencing – juxtaposed with the sporadic demonstrations at home which were put down with brutal efficiency through the repressive actions of the Ministry of the Interior’s Orwellian ‘Mubahitb’ Thought Police - and the equally Kafkaesque ‘Mutaween’ religious Plod Squad - the King has committed himself to making an effort to provide some modicum of stability to Saudi society itself – in an attempt to avert a full scale revolution and re-secure his family’s privileged hedonistic position as a monarchial plutocracy - by dropping hints that a fresh order of progressive socio-economic reforms are in the air.

This façade will be maintained until fresh supplies of tear gas, stun grenades, tasers, rubber bullets and ‘Crown Crusher’ armoured vehicles are delivered from the UK’s bespoke armaments manufacturers to boost the Mubahitb’s Riot Squad arsenal of repressive weaponry ready for the planned March 11th Sabbath ‘Day of Rage’ by the nation’s stifled youth to demand the release of thousands of political prisoners.

Amongst the rumoured increased benefits for Saudi citizens still living in the Dark Ages (1432 on the Islamic calendar) will be a greater share of the national oil wealth - which will provide access to extra funds (£22 zillion quid) for the promised affordable housing projects (more tents), scholarship grants for peasant types studying abroad and a Third World equivalent of ‘social security’ for anyone who doesn’t have access to a neighbourhood oasis.

The Saudi royal family, utilizing the propaganda factor of Mecca being the centre of the Islamic faith, have for decades maintained a policy of disingenuously manipulating and proselytizing the tenets and strictures of the Qur’an and Wahhabist Islam to establish and maintain the most repressive regime in the Middle East – with the most minor of civil infractions punishable under Sharia Law by the psychopathic zealots comprising the rabid ranks of the Mutaween religious police.

In line with the promised reforms, King Abdullah bin Fat Slob is discussing with the Imam hierarchy a relaxation of the severity of barbaric punishments currently applied to both civil and religious crimes.
These are said to include adultery – for which one can get beheaded or stoned – both equally as painful. Imbibing alcohol, double parking outside a mosque and goat sex all currently carry a mandatory penalty of 50 lashes.
Coveting thy neighbour’s possession gets a hand chopped off; dissing the royal family cops for your tongue severed, and a sideways glance at royal pussy gets an eye gouged out.

All these offences are henceforth to be downgraded in severity and punished with community service orders and Asbo’s. And to cap it all, in what is viewed as ‘real liberalisation’ and a first for ‘women’s suffrage’, married females of the species will be allowed to sleep naked alongside their husbands and no longer mandated to wear a burka in bed.

Thought for the day: Socio-political reforms besides, human rights and wrongs advocacy in the backward autocratic kingdom of Saudi Arabia is as dangerous a pastime as a game of jaywalking with a blindfold on the M25 in rush hour – where anyone foolish enough to gossip about or diss the royal family – or register a complaint over the regime’s abysmal record of permitting any measure of ‘decaffeinated liberalism’ - ends up tossed into the dungeons of the Buraida General Prison – sharing a cell with a bunch of poxed-up Bidoon Bedouin untouchables who get off on bum sex with any form of mammal – two or four-legged.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

SOLACE Stage Annual Pondscum Gathering

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Slopshire Council's CEO, Kim Ryley, a no-account chinless wonder and Mensa reject, has gained recession-era notoriety as Britain’s highest paid local council chief, coining in an annual bag of £180,000 quid - £37 grand a year more than Posh Dave Scameron gets for running an entire fucking country populated by a bunch of unemployed whingeing oicks dressed in shell suits and hoodies.

But busy little bee Ryley also acts as senior ‘vice’ president of ''The Society For Local Authority Chief Executives'', titled with the acronym SOLACE - although it is commonly argued it should be renamed SCUMBAGS due the legions of corrupt Freemasons, kiddie fiddling pederasts and the type of sexual perverts the Old Testament graphically describes as ‘abominations’ that comprise its membership ranks.

Ryley, a man of limited intellect who, according to slanderous rumours, spent most of his formative years with his head stuck in the family washing basket sniffing his sister’s knickers and jacking off, has this week – along with his SOLACE buddies - copped for a hail of flack for their display of ostentatious waste and abuse of privilege by staging a £240-a-head black-tie champagne and oysters junket in the ballroom of the sumptuously restored Savoy Hotel in London on the 3rd February for 400-plus panjandrums – with the financial services goliath Crapita reportedly footing the pre-meal drinks bill – jointly sponsored by spend management outfit EGS and BDO – no, not the Big Day Out or the British Darts Organisation – but the ‘BDO’ – the world's fifth largest accountancy network, who even have offices on the Moon.

The hedonistic occasion was arranged to facilitate a local authorities ‘networking’ venue with a cabal of bottom feeding exec’s from the commercial sectors ‘bonding’ with council chiefs – alternately described as an opportunity for promoting those grand old council ‘personal enrichment’ pastimes of graft and corruption. Hmmm, tender bids whispered over a secret handshake and offshore bank accounts fattened with thirty pieces of silver.

The self-promoting Ryley, who hosted the Lucullan banquet of gluttony, boasted in his address to the pisspot assemblage that local councils were “the most efficient part of the public sector” – then five days later the clot announced that his Slopshire Council intended to drastically trim its 2011 public services budget by shutting down nine schools and laying off a minimum of 1,300 local authority employees. – not a single one of whom had been invited to the Savoy Hotel piss-up for farewell drinkies.

The gospel according to their own vainglorious website, SOLACE is open to the Chief Executives, Senior Managers, Aspiring Commissars and Graduates of all UK local authorities and public sector related organisations – such as the NLP brainwashing social engineering charity - Common Purpose – and a host of like Kafkaesque and Orwellian organisations all set out to forward the New World Order agenda.

From a distance, or up close and personal, the entire organisation stinks of graft and corruption and the unscrupulous use of official local government positions to derive criminal advantage and profit.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 24 February 2011

UK Welfare Benefits Overhaul Fubar

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Secure in the comfort of a £135,000 quid per annum salary, plus generous expenses and a guaranteed retirement package, the Department for Work and Pensions Commissar, Iain Duncan Shitt, has announced to any fucker and their dog interested in listening to his blabberwocky waffle, that he intends to introduce an all-new ‘Universal Credit’ for the UK’s career spongers and ne'er-do-well's - but is set to come down hard on cheats and intends to cap welfare benefits at £26,000 per annum.

Hmmm, nice one - if you’ve got £26,000 grand a year coming in for doing sweet fuck all, why bother looking for a job or volunteering to join Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron’s ‘Big Society’.

The gospel according to the Libservative coalition has recently been amended to admit that the current welfare payments system is more fucked up than a soup sandwich and actively discourages claimants from looking for work, or those in low-paid jobs from grafting longer hours, as increased rates of tax and benefit reductions leave them worse off.

Hence, in an effort to sell his Big Society with ‘We’re All In The Shit Together’ style sound bites and demonstrate to the pig-ignorant public the moral and spiritual value of being in work, Posh Dave is personally guaranteeing that for every £1 extra people earn, they will be at least 35 pence better off as a result of being in work.

Que? WTF? Is that it – the big selling point? We’re gonna fix Broken Britain with lashings of ‘Scameronomics’? How to get people off benefits and back into work – or those of the public herd already in employment to work more overtime – by promising them for every £1 quid they earn extra they’ll be 35 pence better off? Something sounds fucked with a large capital F.

While my area of expertise doesn’t touch on Keynesian economics, I would still consider it, from a logical and common sense perspective, more of a lure and temptation to labour, for the government to stop fucking the cat with their old ‘Robbing Peter to pay Paul’ fiscal legerdemain tricks and come up with a sound bite teaser that serves to guarantee people that for every £1 quid extra they earn they’ll be £1 quid better off – and definitely not short of 65 pence on the pound. A mantra that goes something like “Hey, never forget, for every quid you bring in it’s a full quid in!”

Obviously this isn’t the brainchild of the intellectually-challenged DWP Czar Iain Duncan-Shitt, so who is actually running the Libservative’s ideology think tank on this one? Wallace and Gromet SA - or the Wiley T. Coyote Benefits Agency quango?

Do you have any old sound bites or manky mantras lying around at home that Cabbage Patch Dave and his cabinet office Behavioural Insight Team- aka ‘The Nudge Unit’ – might find useful? Any hackneyed WW2 Churchill propaganda speech pamphlets could come in handy as resource materials; or Goebells Nazi Party songsheets; old Stalinist monologues; extracts from Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book; or a concise (unabridged) copy of Pol Pot’s most rousing speeches.

Rearrange the following sound bites into their correct order of primacy as ranked by the Tavistock Institute and Common Purpose and you could win one of our carbon-friendly ‘Big Society Volunteer’ t-shirts - embellished with the all-new ‘Smiley Oick’ logo.

Big Society Spirit (ABV 26.5%)
Failed Multiculturalism
Individual Empowerment
Patriotism
Carbon-Friendly
Captain of which Ship: Leadership or Partisanship?
Broken Britain
The Bigger Picture
Bullshit Baffles Brains
Mutual Responsibility
Fairtrade Foundations
Public Service
Quantitative Easing
Up Shit Creek – sans a Paddle
Civic Duty
Muscular Liberalism
Negative Equity
Devolving Power
Media Washing vs Brain Washing

Thought for the day: PM David Lloyd-George’s economic reforms marked Westminster’s primary attempts at establishing a welfare state to aid the unemployed and marginalised members of British society. This was a broad brush strategy pursued by successive governments blatantly aware of history (1789 and 1917) and the fact such was necessary to avoid socio-political revolutions.
Now this incompetent clot of a DWP Commissar, Iain Duncan Shitt, intends to unravel the very fabric of the Gordian knot that binds the welfare state together.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 23 February 2011

Tories Score 10+ on Scumometer Scale

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Posh Dave Scameron’s efforts to promote democracy in the Middle East by rushing to become the first foreign leader to visit Cairo on Monday, armed with a bundle of olive branches, were eclipsed by a sickening pall of hypocrisy as some rotten twat working for Ox-Rat, the international human rights and wrongs watchdog charity, snitched to the Warmongers Gazette the fact that he will be spending the week on a tour of repressive Gulf states, glad-handing the ruling despots and pontificating about ‘socio-political reforms’ - with a gaggle of eight of Britain's leading armaments manufacturers in tow.

After a hastily convened stopover in Egypt, where he spoke of being quite surprised by the peasant protester’s stupidity in swapping a dictator for a military junta, Scameron began his pick n mix ‘peace and trade’ mission by flying on to Kuwait, a key military arms customer that has spent in excess of £105 zillion quid on buying British-made weaponry since 2003.

Scameron, who won a prestigious ‘full blue’ at Oxford - along with Bullingdon Club pals Chancellor George Oddbourne and London Mayor Bonkers Boris Nonsense - for ‘Oick Bashing’, yesterday sermonised to the autocratic Kuwaiti ruler, Sheikh Fizzy Al Kaseltzer, and members of his pantomime Parliament that only the Montesquieu principles of political checks and balances – ensuring freedom of speech, justice and the rule of law - will allow developing countries to meet the aspirations and demands of their internet street smart Bolshie populations – (all of whom are clamouring for socio-political and economic reforms) – and provide the façade of stability in the Third World shitholes of North Africa and the Middle East.

With that pedantic pet talk out of the way, and after purposely avoiding mention of Kuwait’s 300,000 ‘Bidoon’ Bedouin ‘untouchables’ – a section of their society wholly disadvantaged and marginalised - or the matter of ‘Women’s Suffrage’ under the restraints of the Islamic sub-culture, the entire Scameron Circus then flew off across the Gulf to Abu Dhabi, which is ‘coincidentally’ hosting the region's largest arms fair - the ‘Philistine’s Picnic'.
Here a further 93 British companies are promoting their bespoke ‘Cripple, Maim, Kill’ military wares – which include such items of repression as rubber bullets, insta-cardiac tasers, stun grenades, pepper spray, pick axe handles, CS gas, DEW microwave ‘stingers’ – and a variety of recyclable body bags in every colour from camoflague to fluorescent orange - for crowd control - and disposal.

The glib-tongued PM is on the ground to promote democracy and bolster arms sales - plus support the UK Defence Minister Gerald Howarth and his 15-strong delegation from UKTI, the trade promotion wing of the department which is co-hosting a British pavilion with ADS, the UK’s nasty weapons of mass distraction trade association.

Posh Dave will facilitate personal introductions to the chequebook-signing head honchos ruling the North African and Gulf State’s repressive regimes on behalf of the British armaments industry’s sales reps - which this year include Rendition Industries, BAE Shitstems, Bodybags-R-Us, Thales Barbarian Supplies, Qinetiq Torture Kit, Ultra Electronics Tasers, and the Cobham Group with their innovative and much sought-after 65 tonne ‘Crowd Crusher’ heavily armoured riot vans - used with great effect to disperse Bolshie peasant protester types the world over.

Thought for the day: Now, that has got to be a first in hypocrisy - plus immoral crassness - for PM Scameron to take arms salesmen with him on his Middle East peace trip. The Lib-Dums, by coalition association, are now tarred with the same brush as Scameron and his Tory oicks, and stand a chance of coming in as joint favourites for the 2011 International Hypocrisy Award.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

IDF Thugs Declare War on Kids

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Thirteen Palestinian boys – an unlucky figure in any society with a thread of superstition running through its culture - all between the ages of 12 and 15, were arrested yesterday by Israeli Forces while on the Jaysh al-Usra School playground in the village of Manuke Khara, in the southern region of the occupied West Bank.

The ZioNazi sadists from the IDF’s Renta-Thug Squad, supported by a unit of Hafganat Koah Brigade special forces, being right out of Asbo’s, instead attacked the children with sound bombs, tear gas, and rubber bullets before making the arrests and carting the lot off for interrogation and a spot of extraordinary rendition at the Ze'ev Jabotinsky Smiley Face Organ Transplant Prison on the outskirts of occupied Nablus.

Colonel Chaneph Zonah of the 21st Mosque Demolition Regiment told one reporter from the Pound of Flesh Gazette that the thirteen youths had been snitched up to the Shin Bet Gestapo by Freddie and Felix Fagin – the notorious ‘False Witness’ grasser twins - for the traditional Judasesque thirty pieces of silver - on suspicion of writing offensive graffiti on the gates of the St Shylock Temple of Latter Day Kikesters and also the West Bank’s 30 foot high Great Apartheid Wall – daubing such profane anti-government slogans as, ‘Rabbi Rosenshite is a Shmok’, ‘Yid Scum Go Home’, ‘Shlomo Matzo Sux’ and ‘Bobo Nuttyahoo’s a Faggot’.

When several teachers and the screaming mothers and siblings of the targeted children ran to their defence, they were beaten by the IDF Renta-Thug Squad and prevented from reaching the area. One grieving mother, Mrs Ochel Batachat , told a reporter from the Hasbara Review “This shitbag IDF commander, Major Mamzer Ratsach, kicks me in the ‘koos’ and says “Go look for your son’s body on the Manuke Khara Kibbutz landfill site when we’ve cut his liver and kidneys out and sold them to some fat old nekesher couch spud in Tel Aviv that needs an organ transplant.”

In an attempt to quell further protests around the area by the ‘National Committee Against the Wall and Illegal Settlements’ and the ‘Palestine Solidarity Project’, the IDF ordered the Jaysh al-Usra School and the village of Manuke Khara bulldozed flatter than a witch’s tits and subsequently shot everyone old enough to bleed.

Thought for the day: The scandalous ‘Balfour Declaration of 1917, a private letter from Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour to Baron Walter Rothshite, (actually a ‘declaration of sympathy’ to succour Jewish whingeing), states that while ‘viewing with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people’ – quote: “it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine”….

Hmmm, now which bit of that didn’t the kikester terrorists understand when they caused the Yawm an-Nakbah of 1948 and drove the Palestinian population out of their own country – and today beseige them within the diminished boundaries of the West Bank and Gaza Strip – inside the biggest concentration camps on the planet – imprisoned behind the racially-motivated Great Apartheid Wall of Israel.

The anniversary of the dodgy declaration, 2nd November, is widely commemorated in Israel and among the ZioNazi kikester Jews of America as Balfour Day – with the same date being observed as a day of mourning and protest in Arab countries.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the ZioNazi Chosen People and their-cock-snipping covenant – and their plans for a Greater Israel.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Tuesday 22 February 2011

Zionist Stooge US Confirms Moral Bankruptcy

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The good ole US of A has contrarily, in the face of all that is morally decent and legally correct, vetoed a Pan-Arab resolution at the UN Security Council which was drafted to condemn the illegal Israeli settlements in the occupied Palestinian territories as an obstacle to peace – which constitute no more than the state-sanctioned theft of another person’s property.

All fourteen other members of the Security Council, prompted by conscience to anathematize the glaring sore-thumb abuse of ZioNazi military power that had seized the Palestinian lands decades ago, backed the resolution, which had even been endorsed by the kikester stooges now running the West Bank Palestine Liberation Organisation since Mossad murdered Yessir Marrowfat for not doing what he was told.

It was the first UN Security Council veto exercised by the Kenyan Cuckoo’s White House administration - which had disingenuously promised to improve its relations with the Muslim world by calling a halt to carrying out false flag terrorist attacks against Western targets then blaming them on Pan-Islamic Jolly Jihadi nihilists and the non-existent Al Qaeda - and the deceased Osama bin Laden.

Washington Beltway insiders revealed to journalists from the Scandalmongers Gazette and the Daily Shitraker that President Barky O’Cuckoo had been under pressure from not only Israeli PM Bobo Nuttyahoo via the Zionist AIPAC-dominated US Congress, but also the Rothshite crime syndicate’s Capo di Capi inner circle of kikester Freemasons and goyim-hating rabbis in London and Tel Aviv.

While typically attempting to play both ends off against the middle, disingenuously stating that it opposed new settlements, the Washington administration posited the sham argument that taking the issue before the UN’s Security Council would only complicate efforts to resume the Mexican standoff pantomime histrionics that represented the perennial Machiavellian and hypocritical negotiations between Israel and the West Bank PLO to achieve a two-state peace deal.

This fraudulent fiasco has long been viewed as a diplomatic façade of insincerity and sophistry to distract from the Knesset’s true intentions of giving the Palestinians sweet fuck all – apart from imposing further marginalisation and privations – with both the West Bank and Gaza Strip reduced to the most diminished boundaries possible and surrounded by 30 foot high Great Apartheid Walls – creating the biggest concentration camps on the planet.

The resolution, which was sponsored by 130 countries, declared Israeli settlements in Palestinian territories were illegal and a "major obstacle to the achievement of a just, lasting and comprehensive peace" – which Israel, owing to its belligerent nature and history of conflict, has no desire for when it lives and breathes the fiction of being a ‘victim’ of Pan-Islamic anti-Semitic sentiments.

This decision by President O’Cuckoo, and further threatening the Palestinians with ‘repercussions’ should they push the UN anti-settlement resolution, risks further infuriating Arab peoples at a time of mass street protests in the Middle East and generating well deserved fresh batches of anti-American / anti-Zionist sentiments. Especially so after Washington’s kikesters had placed enormous pressure on the Palestinians to withdraw the resolution and allow the Israelis to continue clearing Palestinian homes and farms to facilitate the mining of that rare earth Holy Land mineral ‘Kikesterite’ - and accept ‘alternatives’ (half of fuck all) - but these were ultimately rejected even by the PLO’s lickspittle leadership as simply too big an insult to anyone’s intelligence.

Speaking from Ramallah in the West Bank, PLO secretary general Shmok Abed Scabbo told the Shaheed Ibn Himar Gazette that the US veto was a foregone conclusion as long as Washington’s Congress and White House were owned and controlled by the ultra-ZioNazi AIPAC and Shylock scumbag banksters.

Ghaban Manuke Khara, the official spokesman for the Gaza Strip’s democratically-elected Hamas Party government, was adamant that to the scrutiny of international eyes and judicial opinions the result was a strong endorsement of the Palestinian position on Israeli settlements – specifically that they are illegal, and an obstacle to peace - which not only isolated Israel as an outlaw rogue state in breach of international law and guilty of war crimes and crimes against humanity – it further isolated the United States and tarred it with the same brush of criminality – and an arbiter state devoid of all credibility in the global community of nations – and alike Israel, an international pariah.

Thought for the day from Hypocrisy Central: The Tory Foreign Secretary, Willy Vague, a career Friends of Israel apologist, today informed members of the gutter press he is "deeply concerned" by the "horrifying levels of unacceptable brutality and violence" used against peaceful protesters in Libya, Bahrain and Yemen – and various other Mid-East despot-ruled shitholes.

Vague further condemned the violence sanctioned by Libyan madman Colonel Muammar al Ghaddafi, and his use of helicopter gunships, heavy weapons fire and units of snipers to kill and wound (last count) over 1,000 democracy-seekers as “not very nice” – especially so when the UK’s National Policing Improvement Agency have not only been teaching these very same Arab state barbarians how to suppress socio-political dissent and deal with Bolshie Muslim protesters up to fatality levels – but also supplying them with the very tools to do so – tear gas, rubber bullets, recyclable body bags, etc, et al.

What pity the effeminate Secretary Vague doesn’t apply equal measures of condemnation against his big buddies in Israel concerning their ‘unacceptable’ war crime deprivations against the Palestinian population of the Gaza Strip – specifically the 2008 / 2009 Festive Season of Goodwill ‘Operation Kill Every Fucker’ 22-day duration aggressive military campaign against the besieged enclave that left thousands of non-combatant women and kids wounded, maimed and dead.

The gospel according to the UN-sponsored report by Richard Goldstone, a neutral international jurist – of the Jewish faith – concluded that the IDF, and by logical association of the chain of command, the nutty Knesst, were guilty of war crimes of a nature equitable to those committed by the Nazis and tried at Nuremberg.

Likewise the IDF’s piratical attack against the Turkish ‘Mavi Marmara’ Freedom Flotilla in international waters that snuffed every fucker old enough to bleed.
Ah well, that’s politics – and the global pariah Israel can do no wrong in the eyes of the international media – press, TV, radio, movies - as long as their Zionist Shylock stooges own and control the whole shebang.
Thank Jehovah for pond scum media tycoons like Rupert Mudrock and his ilk who manipulate the news to conjure public perceptions of which way is up.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Oh, and by the way, fuck the criminal state of Israel, and the Project for a New American Century - and the Rothshite’s New World Order – this ZioNazi-American Empire – overstretched and unmanageable.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Kenyan Cuckoo’s Family Go Skiing

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

In a blatant display of Washington two-faced duplicity, applying the good ole tried and tested political ‘double standards’ tenet, US President Barky O’Barmy this week dictated that Americans needed to tighten their proverbial belts and forgo annual vacations to Disney World or Fraggle Rock - then flew his own family out on the super-polluting Air Force Two, heading for Colorado’s Mount Hypocrisy and a mega-bucks winter sports cum skiing holiday – courtesy of the United States taxpayer.

Political critics have been quick to quote the Kenyan cuckoo’s own parsimonious words back to him following his ‘thrift and frugality’ budget speech last week when he arrogantly pronounced to cash-strapped American citizens “Hey, if yo guys don’t have no more job an’ ya credit cards am all maxed out, den yo and ya family should be tryin’ ta cut back on de spendin’ – so ya all needs ta think about sayin’’fuck it’ ta goin’ out ta dinner at Denny’s and puttin’ off ya vacation ta help out de economy.”

The Hottentot-arsed Michelle O’Barmy and her two daughters are staying at the upscale Hedonists Lodge on the slopes of Mount Hypocrisy, where basic accommodations start at $650 a night for a camp bed in a closet and can range up to more than $2,400 for suites – the type required by the O’Barmy clan to billet their Secret Service security details and other hangers-on – but who really gives a flying fuck or counts the cost when the hapless American public are footing the bill.

Michelle O’Barmy, publicity-hungry and up to her self-promotional tricks as usual, is making a press photo opportunity of every aspect of their stay so far – being snapped yesterday building a snowman - aptly tagged with the racist moniker of Honky - with daughters Malia and Sasha, who were quick to point out to hovering gutter press journalists “We nevva saw any of dis cold white shit when we went on vacation ta visit old Auntie Winnebago in Nairobi last year. It woz all hot as hell an’ dust an’ flies.”

Their trip is yet another slap in the face to common US peasants, which has taken place regardless of previous criticisms over the family's extravagant vacations, that included a taxpayer-funded trip to Spain last summer – which cost $375,000 for her security detail alone - plus two 'there-and-back' full tanks of gas on Air Force One – with forty of her ‘female friends’ (sic) from the St Sapphie Dildodo Church of Latter Day Dykesters ‘Lesbian Choir’.

Arch-Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limpdork, one of the Kenyan’s most outspoken critics commented “What a fucking free-loading klutz this O’Barmy character really is – and we all thought Dubya Bush was a moronic dildo.”
“This guy and his slapper of a missus have really got addicted to the nouveau riche taste – with a tendency toward a conspicuous consumption lifestyle – at our expense. Last Christmas they were over in Hawaii on holiday – same time as the Honolulu hospital birth certificate records office burned down.”
“Hey and now look at the waste - this woman’s in a winter sports resort an’ she’s spending three hours each day down in the solarium, lying under a UV bed, working on her sun tan, for Christ’s sake. I mean, if she gets any darker she’ll end up a two-legged black hole.”

Meanwhile, the geriatric Vice President Billy Joe Bidet and his wife Candida are following Obarmy’s advice and spending their holiday weekend working in a soup kitchen on Sesame Street. Nice one Joe, just watch out ya’ll don’t tread in any of that Big Bird shit.

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: If you were born in Kenya, then brought up in Indonesia as a Muslim, would you have the gall to wave around a Hawaiian bus ticket with Birth Certificate scribbled on it in pencil – and claim to be American?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Monday 21 February 2011

Arab State Brutality: Mentored by Britain

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

There is an expanding pall of anger and resentment amongst UK human rights and wrongs groups over the enmeshed relationship between the brutal dynastic Gulf regimes posing as legitimate governments and the British police and military after weeks of democracy protests across the Arab world that have met with copious lashings (sic) of violent state repression on a grand fascist scale using deadly force anti-riot weaponry supplied with the export endorsement of the UK’s conscienceless money-grubbing government.

As demonstrators in Bahrain and Libya attended the mass funerals of their comarades and faced armed riot police and troops yesterday, campaign groups called on Posh Dave Scameron’s Libservative coalition government to re-evaluate whether Britain should be so heavily involved in the training of moronic raghead police and military forces who haven’t a fucking clue what the term ‘democracy’ means.

In the past two years British police have helped to train their imbecilic counterparts in Bahrain, Libya, Abu Dhabi, Kuwait, Qatar, Oman and Saudi Arabia through schemes run by the National Policing Improvement Agency (NPIA), which organises overseas training and screens videos of policing actions within the UK illustrating how to kettle crowds of Bolshie students protesting exorbitant hikes in tuition fees – and how to inflict the feared ‘Five Minute Death-Touch’ innovated by career sadist PC Simon Harwood – his unique ‘Strike-Cripple-Snuff’ manoeuver - on innocent passers-by at anti-G20 demonstrations – now known internationally as the ‘Tomlinson Chop’.

Since his April 2009 debut display of ‘violent thuggery’, in which he was filmed attacking G20 protester Nicola Fisher with a telescopic steel baton, Sgt Delboy Stinkie has personally toured the Middle East and various North African autocratic shitholes, instructing local police forces how to disable a 110 pound woman armed with an orange juice carton – and immobilise Brazilian electricians with a single 15 round clip of 9mm parabellum ammunition fired point blank from a Glock G19 SAF handgun.

At present, there are three full-time advisers from the Met’s Renta-Thug Brigade working with the Bahraini ‘Plod Squad’ – (who were heavily implicated in the violent crackdown on protests in Manama this week) – providing instruction on how to wield and swing a pick axe shaft efficiently to fracture collar bones and kneecaps yet still leave the protester conscious enough to plead for mercy, pay an on-the-spot fine , and crawl to the nearest hospital - or mortuary - under his - or her - own steam.

Since the warming of relations between Libya and Britain following the contrived release of the ‘death’s doorstep’ Lockerbie bomber Ali al-Megrahi two years ago – (who miraculously ‘got well’ and is currently running a 'gays only' tourist B & B in Benghazi) - UK Met plods and military officers have travelled frequently to Tripoli to train Ghaddafi’s teams of crowd-supression thugs in the dark arts of gratuitous violence – with the Foreign Office authorising the export of tear gas, rubber bullets, coronary-inducing Tasers, small-arms ammunition and ‘door-breaching projectile launchers’ – commonly supplied under the designation of ‘tanks’ or ‘howitzers’.

Following Megrahi’s release from bonny Scotland’s ‘Smiley Face’ Greenock Prison in 2009, Libya has blessed the UK’s armaments industry with mega-bucks orders for all kinds of nasty shit, including vehicles armed with water cannons and scores of the famous ‘Black Maria’ 4 x 4 riot vans favoured by tyrannic and repressive military regimes the world over – which have been present during the recent protest crackdowns in Tripoli and loaded with hundreds of bodies destined for the nearest landfill site.

To add to Britain’s shame and record of hypocrisy regarding human rights abuses, there is the long-standing connection between the UK and the despotic Arab regimes that send scores of officers for training at the Sandhurst Royal Military Academy. Five current Arab heads of state are Sandhurst alumni, including the King of Bahrain, Sheikh Hamad bin Nastygit, who only days ago ordered the violent crackdown against his own citizens.

Other Arab autocrats who have undergone military training in Britain to become an officer – even if not a gentleman - include King Abdullah ibn Himar Shitbagg of Jordan; the Emir of Kuwait, Sheikh Saad al-Abdullah bin Goatbonker; the Sultan of Oman, Qaboos Liwat ibn Zamel; and the Emir of Qatar, Sheikh Fizzy al Kaseltzer.

Fellattia Titwank, the UK director of Ox-Rat, the human rights abuse watchdog, informed one reporter from the Extraordinary Rendition Gazette that "Fer me, it’s a real fuckin’ worry an’ highly symbolic of this cosy relationship that countries like the UK and the USA have wiv these repressive regimes wot torture people just fer a bit of a laugh.”
"The British Government reckons it insists on incorporatin’ human rights elements in its overseas trainin’ programmes yet when it comes ter dealin’ wiv peaceful protesters all this is in one ear an’ out the other – same as Bahrain an’ Lybia. Men wiv guns = 100. Protesters wiv no guns = 0. Match replay cancelled.”

“Regardless of how effin’ many they shoot, all these marginalised and disaffected peasants, First World to Third World – and any other shithole in between - are fed up of bein’ misruled and exploited by oligarchs and plutocrats wot maintain power by force of arms, bribery, graft and corruption – by any means required – and at any costs ter keep their hedonistic own end ‘up’ and that of the opposition perpetually down.”

“These symptoms are now reachin’ a critical mass state, primarily across North Africa an’ the Middle East, an’ are ready ter erupt in a cataclysmic chain reaction proportionate ter the sum total of past privations and sufferings under the dictatorial misrule of dynastic despots an’ their pisspot panjandrums. On wiv the Revolution an’ the Day of the Rope, brothers!”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

China 'Jackboots' Democracy Protests

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

China’s Orwellian ‘Thought Police’ showed up mob-handed in several major cities across the sprawling Third World dystopian shithole over the weekend after an online call for a "Jasmine Revolution" went out on scores of internet social networking websites – a copycat wordplay on Tunisia’s January-staged civil rebellion of the same name.

The message was first posted on the US-based ‘Wonton Willie’ Chinese-language website, with calls for people to protest and shout "We want more fuckin’ food; We want work and pay; We want housing with roof; We want to be Muslims"- were circulated on Fuckbook and Twatter and numerous Chinese microblog sites by seditious persons the authorities in Beijing believe to be working with the notorious Tibetan anarchists and internet hackers Kun Kare Less and Fuk Yew Tu.

A Beijing-based Ministry of Misery mandarin, Secretary Pak Lunch, told one reporter from the Killjoys Gazette “We have issued arrest warrants for members of the underground hip-hop music group, Falun and the Gongs as they have released another online single taking the piss out of our beloved Chinese People’s Utopia and saying the Politburo are all paranoid old farts.”

Pak Lunch revealed that over a million suspected civil rights activists and demonstrators were arrested in Shanghai, but the call for mass protests was not well answered when military commanders read out a decree signed by the ruling Politburo, stating emphatically “Read This, Tremble, and Obey!” – and threatened a repeat of the 1989 Tiananmen Square option – to simply run everyone down with ZTZ99 battle tanks.

Now officially known as ‘The Unfortunate June Fourth Incident’ – that homicidal occasion is affectionately remembered by the surviving peasants every June 4th anniversary as the Tiananmen Square ‘Massacre’ – which left 3,000 dead and zillions more maimed and injured – and China three steps backwards on the stony path towards Democracy ever being a reality in the Middle Kingdom.

Shanghai Police Chief, Inspector Sum Dum Fuk, told foreign devil gutter press journalists that those arrested during yesterday’s ‘pre-protest’ swoop would be charged with treason and sent without trial to the city’s Happy Face Organ Transplant Prison – or one of the hundreds of new ‘mental institutions’ recently constructed to house deluded whingers who complain about the government and their lot in life.

Police in both Shanghai and Wanking dispersed crowds who had gathered out of slack-jawed gawping curiosity with a mix of flash grenades, tear gas and machine gun fire – with blinded and choking stragglers being dragged away shouting "Why the fuck are you arresting me, I only came out to buy some spring rolls and a flat duck?"

On Saturday evening, Ms Sue Doku, the official spokeswhore for Premier Flip Flop Fong, called for stricter controls on the internet "to guide public opinion" (NLP / Brainwashing) and to "solve prominent problems which might harm or undermine the harmony and stability of the Middle Kingdom’s ‘I-Robot’ brain dead society"- specifically the secure and continued status quo of Beijing’s graft and corruption-ridden Politburo of senile geriatrics – all blighted by long-expired shelf lives and use-by dates.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Sunday 20 February 2011

Monkey-Hangers get Noses Rubbed in Shit

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

While Chancellor Georgie Osbourne’s draconic public spending cuts have emasculated local authority budgets across the UK, prompting councils to lay off zillions of workers and slash such vital front line services as the Nosy Neighbourhood Watch ‘Dogshit Patrols’ and the recycling wheelie bin ‘Precision Placement Squads’ - up in the north-east ‘monkey-hanging’ bailiwick of Hartlepool such austerity measures might well have been applied to enforce a two-year pay freeze on council worker’s wages – but not their borough council CEO’s pay packet.

While the graft and corruption blighted shithole of Fartlepool and its ruling Labour council of career kleptocrats are faced with public service spending cuts of 19% - which translated fiscally to £14.2 zillion quid for the 2011 / 2012 period – their piranha-toothed Chief Executive, Paul Wanker, a former gulley-suckers mate, has been awarded a pay increase of 7% - upping his basic annual salary to £168,000 nicker to offset inflation (yep, the very same inflation that’s hitting the rest of the nation’s peasants).

Hmmm, is someone taking the piss – or what? Hartlepool, alike other whingeing Labour-led councils in the North are claiming that Libservative Coalition Government budget cuts mean they have no choice but to lay off scores, if not hundreds, of workers, reduce services for children, the elderly, leisure and libraries – and neglect to expedite hot-patch repairs to the lunar landscape infestations of potholes blighting the borough’s abysmal roads - until a number X35 double decker bus disappears down one.

Hence little wonder the talentless Paul Wanker wears a constant moronic Cheshire cat grin, reaping in a £168 grand salary – plus expenses – juxtaposed with Prime Minister Posh Dave Scameron’s measly £142,000 for running the whole of Broken Britain and trying to kick start and coordinate his Big Society at the same time. Then we have run-of-the-mill House of Conmans MPs on a miserly £65,000 per annum – including Fartlepool’s own MP, Ian Wright, who took over as Parliamentary representative when Peter Scandalson was laterally promoted to the EUSSR HQ in Brussels in 2004.

Now, that’s got to be a smack in the gob for Mr Wright, knowing he’s working his proverbial nuts off in the lofty political heights of Parliament and some prat running his local council is earning twice-plus his salary.
Regardless of MP Wright’s views on the dilemma one thing is for certain within the ranks of the common man - if the unemployed of the UK are expected to survive on £60.50 pence a fucking week (£3,146 per annum) Jobseekers Allowance then this talentless Labour scumbag Wanker can do likewise.

* Carbon Credit Offset / Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Saturday 19 February 2011

Bahrain’s Despots Nix Democracy Option

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The recent waves of socio-political protest that continue to sweep the Islamic states of North Africa, with hordes of Bolshie peons ousting one set of decades-entrenched kleptomaniacs only to find themselves now ruled by a military junta (Egypt) or an even bigger set of thieves (Tunisia) – have regardless inspired the marginalised and disaffected peasant classes of oil and gas rich Bahrain to take up the Red Flag and find out via the route of harsh reality what sanguine dye it is actually painted with.

However, the Bani Utbah tribal ‘oil dynasty’ pondscum still ruling the Gulf island state have decided the shithole’s not yet ready for Democracy and have thus banned all protests – with the military ordered to tighten its grip after the violent removal of anti-government demonstrators from Manama’s Pearl Square.

Obviously the army took this edict from the Interior Ministry with the degree of seriousness intended and exercised every measure necessary to preserve general order and national security – with four people dead and 230-plus seriously injured after plods and army troopers broke up the main protest camp – plus a rough headcount of 60 aggie student demonstrators snatched and detained by the secret police for ‘a good talking to’.

The capital of Manama has been effectively shut down, with tanks, army patrols and razor wire checkpoints on key traffic and pedestrian routes making access in and out of the city as tight as a coral snake’s sphincter.

However protesters and opposition politicians expressed outrage at the violence of the crackdown, with a leader of the minority opposition ‘Shaheed Ibn Himar Party’, Mohammed Manuke Khara, informing one reporter from the Despots Gazette that he was resigning in disgust and going to join Prime Minister David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’ in Britain.

Conversely Mohammed Istimna, of Bahrain's secular ‘Spit ur Wadd Party’, told the media the protests would continue. "We are going to direct the stupid peasants and students to do what's necessary to change this into a democratic country, even if they all get killed in the process of attempting to achieve a functioning, constitutional democracy."
“We also want political prisoners to be released, more jobs and housing and the removal of the crooked Prime Minister Sheikh Khalifa Al Kaseltzer – who is known to his friends as ‘Fizzy’ – and has been in office now for 40 years.”

One protester, coincidentally also called Mohammed, told a reporter from the Totalitarian Gazette “They should have used water hoses to disperse us first instead of firing rubber bullets – then at least we could all have taken a nice refreshing shower before being tear-gassed and battered with pickaxe handles and baseball bats.”

Mohammed, a former tortoise polisher from the slums of Jebel ad-Dukhan, surprised the shit out of friends and family alike last Christmas when someone gave him a copy of Das Kapital and his politics took a most Bolshie turn – prompting him to give up the security of a stable 16-hour-a-day job, the luxury of a brackish deep well within half an hour’s walking distance, and the creature comforts of a dry cave roof over his head – and take up the path of Anarchy.

Going into full revolutionary mode, Mohammed continued “We are sick and tired of the Curse of the Four C’s: Cronyism, Collusion, Corruption, and Complacency – and too the ‘DOSRII’ : Directors, Officers, Seniors, and Related Invested Interests. We are sick of this elitist fraternity and their absurd sense of dynastic entitlement – that they rule us by Divine Right – at Allah’s discretion indeed.”
“These are the type of Sunni-side up shits that would do anything to get into power – and are willing to do anything to keep the status quo that way so they control the oil revenues.”

Interior ministry spokesman Brig Mohammed Hassan al-Dipshit, informed Pox News that some protesters had ended the sit-in peacefully and left quietly but others had exploited this tolerant atmosphere and refused to obey the law and that led to machine guns being fired to make them leave – especially when students started defacing images of the Bahraini royal family to look like pigs.

Since independence from the UK in 1971, tensions between the ruling Sunni and Cher elite and the less affluent Shites have frequently been manipulated by the Ministry of Propaganda to generate civil unrest to the point of sectarian chaos – with the Shites claiming they are marginalised, subject to unfair laws, repressed – and housed in ‘heaps’.

The conflict lessened in 1999 when Sheikh Hamad bin Isa Al Tealeaf became Emir and began a snail-paced process of democratic reform. In 2002, Hamad, who claims hereditary grazing rights to every hotel lobby carpet in the western Gulf region, proclaimed himself King of the Swingers and was crowned in a virtual reality coronation – following which a pantomime of landmark elections were staged – with his Despots Party winning all the seats after the opposition decided – unwisely – to boycott the polls.

In a rare TV appearance today, King Hamad the First, the ‘absolute monarch’ of Cloud Cuckoo Land, expressed regret about the deaths of protesters but related that the Zionist-dominated US State Department and the RAND Corporation had both advised him to continue with his programme of stifling socio-political reforms for the next decade or so.

Meanwhile, back in Britain, who until 1971 governed Bahrain, arms sales to the ‘Despotcracy’ are under urgent review following the recent acts of fatal violence levelled against unarmed and peaceful pro-democracy demonstrators by the state’s police and military forces when they marched together to visit their fallen comrades at Manama’s Salmonella Hospital.

Both Amnesty International and Ox-Rat, the international human rights abuse watchdogs, have castigated the UK’s Foreign Office for supplying Bahrain’s tyrannical and autocratic regime with the tools to facilitate the programme of internal repression it is now using, with deadly effect, to quell freedom of political expression – specifically riot control equipment that included thousands of tear gas cartridges, rubber bullets, pickaxe shafts and recyclable body bags – all of which had been licensed for export to the authoritarian Gulf state within the past nine months.

Thoughts for the day: Have you ever been to Bahrain and seen its zigzag Christmas cracker cartoon red and white flag? Until this last weekend Bahrain’s news propaganda machine had worked well in glossing over human rights abuses and disingenuously advertising its imaginary liberal policies – apart from the official ban of hanging female underwear on a washing line - in case the sight of a thong or bra drying in the sun excited a neighbour into rape mode.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Friday 18 February 2011

Israeli Hypocrites Launch Chutzpah Attack

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

The rogue state of Israel’s politicians have thrown yet another of their customary paranoid psychosis fits, howling “Anti-Semitism!” and “Victims!” from the rooftops of the United Nations and the Zionist-owned international media as ‘two’ penny-ante Iranian naval vessels chug slowly along, towards the southern approaches of the Suez Canal - (the international waterway link that runs through Egyptian sovereign territory - and nowhere near Israel) – bound for the Syrian port of Latakia in the Mediterranean.

The terrifying Persian ‘flotilla’ that’s kick started this latest outrage of Israeli paranoia consists of the Manuke Khara, a minor frigate, and the Ghurlatan, a supply boat – which collectively don’t quite constitute the armed naval might of some Pan-Islamic Jolly Jihad ‘Shaheed’ Armada bearing down on the kikester tosspots running Tel Aviv.

Regardless, always ready to cry “Wolf!” and drum up sympathy and promises of extra arms shipments from their AIPAC stooges in Washington, the Israeli Prime Minister Bobo Nuttyahoo told one reporter from the Hasbara Gazette that the Knesset had duly alerted "friendly nations" (the Zionist-dominated US of A) concerning the malevolent presence of the warships - and the IDF had upped their war footing to Defcon 2 and bombed a baby milk formula factory on the Gaza Strip as a warning to Hamas.

Israel's Minister for Gross Hypocrisy, Avigdor ‘the Shmok’ Lieberscumm, told anyone willing to listen to his bullshit that "Israel cannot ignore these provocations by the Iranian warmongers. This proves Iran's nerve and self-esteem are growing from day to day – now they have nuclear weapons – and they want to destroy the Jewish homeland here just because we stole it off the mamzer Palestinians."

“If the shitbag Egyptian goyim filth allow them to pass through the canal and into the Mediterranean we will have the ‘O’chel Batachat’ – one of our new Chutzpah class submarines dogging their every move and they’re armed with the latest nuclear-tipped Scatt torpedoes and Shylock 5 cruise missiles rigged with B61 dial-a-yield nuclear warheads.”

Unfortunately, the racist lunatic failed to make mention that the Knesset’s irrational mistrust and delusional psychosis regarding perceived belligerence on the part of the Iranian navy was totally offset by the fact the Zionist stooge US had a couple of carrier fleets of warships in the Persian Gulf with the sole purpose of being there one of 24/7 readiness to participate in a pre-emptive strike against the Iranian Islamic Republic – with Israel keeping their end of the sneak attack bargain up by providing four German-built ‘Jabotinsky-class’ nuclear capable submarines to stay on station – submerged off the Iranian coastline until the shit hits the fan.

Besides their habitual cultural obsessions with usury, foreskins, matzo and the Holohoax, this latest pantomime illustrates the tactics of the outlaw Zionist state when it once again plumbs the depths of dishonour and indecency and include character assassination, selective misquotation, the wilful distortion of the record, the fabrication of falsehoods, and an utter disregard for the truth – simply to malign the Iranian leadership and generate sympathy for Jehovah’s ‘Chosen People’.
Yep, sympathy – it’s in the dictionary – somewhere between ‘shit’ and ‘syphilis’.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Thought for the day: Fuck the Zionist kikesters and their New World Order.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Thursday 17 February 2011

Scameron’s 'Big Society' Defined

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Cabbage Patch Dave Scameron’s constantly harping on about his ‘passion’ – no, not Sammy with the nice tits and the double-bubble ass – but this ‘Big Society’ that’s going to be run by zillions of currently unemployed and retired peasant types once Number 10’s cabinet ‘Behavioural Insight Team’ (aka the ‘Nudge-Nudge Unit’) of Common Purpose social engineers, ex-Abu Ghraib interrogators, GCHQ anoraks, Tavistock Institute beardies and other assorted RAND Corporation dog-wankers develop a suitable psychological neuro-linguistic programme – the ‘sound bite’ SOMA - to brainwash the numpty public into ’hive mind’ zombie mode – which will then act to create a veritable national army of unpaid (great word- ‘unpaid’) volunteers working every hour God sends - for sweet fuck all.

And this will comprise the backbone of Posh Dave’s Big Society - his ‘Volunteers’. Hmmm, anyone know the definition of a ‘volunteer’? Someone who has totally misunderstood the question put to them.

So, we’ll have this horde of happy, smiling volunteer oicks comprised of those recently cast aside by commerce and industry due budget cut-driven redundancies - juxtaposed with the marginalised and unemployable – working hand in hand and doing the jobs we used to have to pay the shiftless council box wallahs all manner of bloated salaries for performing.

Nice one Dave, the first step to mending Broken Britain – and perhaps the first on the path to Moore’s ‘Utopia’ – or the first on the road to perdition when the Big Society pantomime manifests into a social straitjacket – a veritable mind control ball and chain eagerly donned by congenital morons.

While doubtless the sheeple will be receptive to the Nudge-Nudge Unit’s ‘Hive Mind’ NLP tactics, those who still manage to think for themselves and wipe their own arses will simply go into ‘selective hearing mode’ and ignore Posh Dave’s disingenuous rhetoric regarding the ‘why’s and wherefore’s’ used to justify his Big Society strategy and reasons for injecting an unhealthy dose of ‘muscular liberalism’ into the national attitude in an attempt to overhaul the ‘multicultural’ cosmopolitan cesspit that Empire’s Day immigration and EUSSR-licensed worker/economic migration have caused Britain to become.

‘Big Society’ and ‘Muscular Liberalism’ eh. Well, they both have a nice ‘sound bite’ quality about them – catchy on the inner ear – a bit like ‘Kristallnacht’ was in Nazi Germany back in 1938. Funny, even the Jews thought the jingle was catchy too – until a brick came through the window.

So, who’s on Number 10’s Cabinet Office ‘Behavioural Insight Team’? Any kiddie fiddling sex offender’s names that stand out? Any Scaberdeen Scots on the register? Obviously a few Freemasons, cottagers, doggers and pinko alkies who occasionally smoke the odd bifta – all conjuring up psychological tricks to alter our herd behaviour to accept a whole novel index of ‘social norms’.

Hmmm, how did a wet rag clot like Franci Maude, the Tory MP for Horseshit, get on the team? Then we have the shifty Gus O’Donnell, dodgy David Halpern, and the Auschwitz-reject Rosie Donachie (a former stick insect impersonator).
One recent ‘advisor’ to the unit was another ‘gorf’ - Olivier Oullier, who works directly in the private office of the French Hobbit President Nicky Sarkozy, constantly on hand to boost his ego by addressing the mental midget with the Napoleonic moniker of ‘mon Emperor’ – and has so far succeeded in convincing Sarko’ he really is over five foot tall in his lifts – and there’s nothing to be ashamed of by standing on a herring box when talking to other foreign leaders.

Thus the Big Society is meant to manifest as public empowerment – and perhaps do the job of the useless police force once Osbourne’s ‘scorched earth’ budget cuts have decimated the Plod Squad ranks to zilch.
Then we can have a live and visible police presence at places like Sale Park, in the Greater Manchester area, which last weekend hosted an impromptu dogfight – in which one dog, not satisfied with biting his opponent, stabbed him to death – then stabbed the bloke holding its leash. And the GMPF answer to these deaths, using 20/20 hindsight? "Extra officers are on patrol (post-stabbings) to provide reassurance." Hmmm, a pity they weren’t on patrol to prevent the stabbings too. We pay taxes for protection, not fucking asinine and lame excuses.

Perhaps we would be better running the police force ourselves – could we do a worse job? Really, ask yourselves – if chasing down a suspected Paki Muslim terrorist bomber, is it likely you’d end up shooting a Brazilian electrician?
If tasked with monitoring a G20 protest in the City would you get so bored you’d belt an innocent pedestrian passer-by across the back of the legs with a telescopic steel baton then shove him violently to the ground and cause him to die of sustained internal injuries minutes later?

Mayhap take over the Chief of Communications post at the Ministry of Defence and initiate some much-needed improvements to their redundancy notice procedures – such as ‘not’ hotmailing 38 ranking squaddies and 100 RAF trainee pilots to tell them they’re fired – especially so when they’re on active service in Afghanistan.
The least they could have done was apply a spot of common sense and used Moonpig e-cards scribed with a euphemistic “Congratulations, you have been awarded a DCM”. (Don’t Come Monday).

Hopefully the Nudge Unit might consider suggesting this approach to the MoD prior to them e-mailing the further 42,000 hapless fuckers who are to be hit by defence job cuts by 2015 - including 25,000 civilian staff at the MoD, 7,000 in the Army and 5,000 at the Royal Navy and RAF.

Now we have the Big Society, Scameron’s stillborn brainchild, that he and his elitist fraternity, deluded by their absurd sense of entitlement, are compelled to foist upon us at all costs. Is it just their class and social rank – or do the hereditary well-heeled occupy an entirely different mindset – as well as an entirely different economy - than the rest of the country we live in.

Let’s not be fooled into thinking the likes of the Common Purpose or Nudge Unit NLP 'Big Society' mantras are a recent innovation – they’ve been around for Millenniums in various guises to achieve mass population control. From the Vatican’s Inquisition priests of yesteryear, the totalitarian Nazi Gestapo, the secret political police of Stalin and Mao, and Pol Pot – they’re the very essence of the storyline of Huxley’s, Kafka’s and Orwell’s dystopian worlds.
And while Orwell’s 1984 provides insights to what a Dystopian state might manifest as, the book in itself was never meant to be used as an instruction manual – Totalitarianism for Dummies.

Posh Dave’s Big Society - hmmm, anyone ever remember Tony Bliar’s ‘Third Way’?
Unfortunately Scameron’s blue skies’ philosophy is marred by Britain’s prevailing political and economic climate - overcast to miserable - without the likelihood of sunny intervals.

Thought for the day: While both Barky O’Barmy and Posh Dave Scameron have embraced ‘Nudge Theory’ - originated in 235 BC by the Roman Pro-Consul and military tactician Scrotus Hiatus Hernius - the fact the Afghan Taliban, the Iraqis and the Palestinians of Gaza are failing to embrace the same is now being blamed on a lack of ‘muscular liberalism’ – and the fact they’re Muslims.

Imagine the implications for freedom if humanity used its numerical potential to say NO to the system and ceased to cooperate with its own enslavement.

Oh, and by the way, fuck Big Brother – and his sister – and the New World Order.

* Carbon Credit Cap & Trade Exchange (aka Global Warming / Pollution Reduction Scam) declaration: No trees, fish, cormorants, bumble bees or small furry mammals were harmed in posting this message. However, a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

US Rambo Goes Berserk in Lahore

In this morning’s ‘Enhanced Bullshit’ edition we bring you the latest and greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

Ms Mingeeter Dildodo, the personal assistant of the US Secretary of Sleaze, Hilarious Rodent Clinton, today announced to the White House press corps and anyone else still gullible enough to pay any attention to their festering lies and scaremongering propaganda, that embassy officials will prove before a Pakistani court later this week that a US citizen in police custody for the illegal killing of two Pakistani nationals in Lahore has diplomatic immunity and can thus snuff who the fuck he likes - with Uncle Sam's anointed blessings.

Raymond Allen Davis, a 36-year old mercenary thug attached to the US Consulate was remanded for a further 14 days on Friday over the January 27th killings. Faced with the testimony of several dozen eye witnesses, Davis finally admitted he shot both men in the backs, but claims it was in self-defence as they were trying to rob him.

The case is threatening to derail US ties with Pakistan, a Muppet Show stooge ally in the false flag war to demonise Islam and all Muslims as Jolly Jihadi crazies out to destroy the American dream – and Western democracy.
However, the gospel according to Beltway insiders claims the bouffanted US Democratic Senator John Kerry is on his way to Lahore to expedite a spot of Paki-slapping and do his bit to help resolve the diplomatic row sparked by inconsiderate police officers arresting Mr Davis for a couple of murders.

Kerry, who is also the chair of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has been tasked with calming ‘frayed (read ‘in tatters’) diplomatic relations’ between the US and Pakistan – and will use the tried and tested ‘carrot and stick’ approach of threatening, blackmailing or bribing senior government officials in Islamabad to secure Davis’s release.

Davis, who apparently has no past history of gratuitous Paki-bashing, is currently charged on two counts - murder and possession of illegal weapons and ammunition – whole shit-piles of which were discovered in the trunk of his Honda Civic – along with enough cellphones to restock Carphone Warehouse – a stash which according to Davis must have been in the vehicle already when he rented it from Hertz.

The American miscreant is reportedly being held at the high-security Kota Shitpit Jail in Lahore, with the next hearing scheduled for the 25th February.

Davis told police that he acted in self-defence during the incident on 27 January because the motorcycle rider and his pillion passenger tried to hijack his vehicle at gunpoint – hence why he shot them both in the back several times through his car windscreen. He claims to have contacted the US Embassy via radio and as his Keystone Cops colleagues came to his aid in a second car, their vehicle ran over and killed a third party – one of these hapless fuckers commonly described in the news - and obituary pages - as ‘an innocent bystander’.

Now the jam thickens and the plot gets dirtier by the column inch - and begins to sound like the director’s cut script from a Road Runner / Wiley T Coyote cartoon.

When Davis was arrested in the immediate bloody aftermath of the double murder in a hectic business section of Lahore, after he had fatally shot two men in the back, claiming that he feared they might be threatening to rob him, police discovered an exclusive array of business cards, which included one listing him as working out of the US’s Peshawar Consulate, on the edge of the Pashtun Tribal area, one listing him as a Defence Department contractor, and yet others stating he worked as a ‘security specialist’ for a company called Hyperion-Protective Consultants LLC, of Orlando, Florida.

In addition to the bucket loads of bullets, for both the Glock and a Beretta allegedly used to kill the two motorcyclists in his pinpoint shots through the Civic’s front windshield, there were several clips of M-16 shells along with military-grade knives, garrotting wires, and a surprising array of high-capacity magazines for the handguns. This was definitely not the run-of-the-mill armament issued to an embassy security guard - one of the various titles that the State Department has disingenuously claimed for Davis at the Lahore Consulate to date.

However, what the Lahore police considered profoundly puzzling and disturbing was a hi-tech digital camera loaded with pictures of scores of mosques, madrassas (religious schools) and other government buildings around Lahore.
(A bit like the two 22nd SAS troopers dressed in their best Mohammed al Patsy disguises on hire from the local Renta-Raghead theatrical shop - who were copped red-handed in Basra, Iraq, with a shit-pile of false flag attack bombing gear in the trunk – and who were busted out of the city jail by a tank regiment before they could squawk.)

So, while Davis’s Pentagon military service file states he was demobbed in 2003 after serving ten years with Special Forces actual facts seem to contradict that line. Is he now with the CIA / intelligence services – or a Slackwater / XE type contractor – or still assigned to Delta on black op’s?
The Lahore Consulate’s geeky description of him being ‘administrative and technical staff’ is belied by the nine bulls-eye shots that he put, rapid-fire fashion, into the two Paki motorcyclists, engaging with deadly accuracy through the front windshield of his car – and optical refraction be buggered.

Conflicting reports in the Paki press speculate the two men Davis killed were not petty thieves who followed him on their motor bike after he made a cash withdrawal at an ATM but were actually agents working for Pakistan’s ISI intelligence service assigned to tail and snuff Davis because he was a spy who ISI knew was up to no good with his madrassas surveillance.

Thus the panic at the State Department right now, with Clinton and O’Barmy shitting kittens and Kerry dispatched to soothe trouble waters. They want Davis out of Paki hands immediately – if not sooner – and are not only threatening to cut off financial assistance to Pakistan but also cancel a planned visit by President Barky O’Barmy if Davis is not released forthwith.

Hmmm, now that’s some pretty heavy pressure for a low-ranking consular contractor - especially so for one who had no choice but to admitted he shot two locals to death while apparently not working in any official capacity – as a Pentagon ninja.

Thought for the day: The contents of a US diplomat’s pockets.
9 mm Glock pistol, 9mm Beretta auto pistol, five magazines for each handgun, 78 loose rounds of 9mm parabellum ammunition, several 30-round clips if M-16 5.56mm ammunition, one US non-diplomatic passport, an SSB transceiver wireless set, a DGPS unit, one pistol pouch, one handbag containing a Geiger counter, two wallets, two K-bar fighting knives, two garrotting piano wires, five mobile phones (Nokia 18910, Samsung, A1303, Sony Ericsson T 700, Nokia 1616, 6300), Pakistani Rs 5,805 in cash and foreign currencies (Yen 58,915; Omani Baisa 1,100; US $126), four empty Glock magazines of 9mm, a telescope, an infrared light, a digital camera, wire cutters, headband torch, night vision goggles, survival kit, several flash drives and memory cards, 19 SIM cards of different cell companies, discount vouchers for McDonald’s Chew n Spew, Biffo’s Barf Burgers and Domino Effect Pizzas, various ATM cards, an open destination PIA ticket, money exchange receipts, blank cheques from Federal Savings Bank, USA.

Alas, no sign of a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card.

Allergy warning: This article was written in a known propaganda-infested area and may contain traces of slight exaggeration, modest porkies, misaligned references and lashings of bush telegraph innuendo.

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.