Thursday, 9 December 2010

WickedLeaks Slammed by Parent Groups

Once again, the latest and the greatest in scandal-mongering hot gossip from Anarchy Central’s 24/7 Truth & Rumour Mill – with dispatches hand forged and crafted into bespoke satire to tempt the palates of all budding nihilists and career revolutionaries who carry the immortal bloodline of the rebel sons of Belial.

WickedLeaks, the notorious online snitch and grassers brigade, have come under fire from parent groups around the world following the posting of documents on their website, sourced from the notorious international whistleblower ‘Killjoy’, that expose Santa Claus – aka St Nicholas / Father Christmas – to be a downright myth concocted to deceive children into believing in benign mystical deities and create a subconscious ‘supernatural awe’ psychosis.

Seven-year old Frankie Bogbrush, a first year student at Smegmadale’s Junior Asbo Academy, told one reporter from the Beano “Me an’ the other kids were right gobsmacked when me mate Biffo brought up the WickedLeaks article: ‘Santa Claus – More Scent than Substance’ – on his laptop at school. And here’s me, year after year, puttin’ a mince pie and a glass of mulled vino by the fireplace every Christmas Eve for Santa – when it woz me Dad scoffin’ an’ skullin’ the goodies. Just goes ter show, yer can’t trust any fucker nowadays, when even yer parents are both lyin’ gits.”

Ms Candida Titwank, regional director of the UK’s General Social Care Council, opined to the media “This Julian Blancmange character and his WickedLeaks website pose a real threat to the founding principles of our society. Who’s going to be exposed as a complete myth next – the Tooth Fairy? I mean to say, where does it stop? Are the Holy Trinity and the belief and faith concepts of established Christian religion in for similar measures of scepticism and iconoclastic treatment?”
“While not being a proponent of violence personally, I think Mr Blancmange should be shoved head-first inside a six foot long industrial condom and suffocated.”

Allergy warning: This article was written in a nut-infested area and may contain traces of lunacy and / or squirrel shit.

Thought for the day: If ontological proof of the existence of God is no longer acceptable, and Santa and the Tooth Fairy are going the way of the Dodo, what are the chances of the Bogey Man really existing?

Rusty’s Skewed News Views (Purveyors of Bespoke Satire) enhanced with a modest touch of Yeast Logic and a piquant dash of Political Incorrectness: a newsheet and media source not owned by Rupert Murdoch and the Masonic Zionist kikester lobby – and immune from litigation under the statutes of the ‘Fair Comment in the Public Interest’ defence.

1 comment:

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